Ah sweet clarity... and just in time....

[greatgenghost]

Amazing what 24 hours and some serious soul searching can do. Yesterday I was quite furious and frustrated as my post reflected. When I really looked at the problem though I came to realize that getting angry was only hurting me and I should just get beyond it- and lo, and behold, I did. Today the world is remarkably calm and serene. I am excited about actually getting to see some friends this evening and afterward am going to help with some charity barbecuing for a boy with a brain tumor. We are cooking 80 briskets that we are selling for $35.00 each to help with the medical costs. Perhaps part of my newly found serenity stems from the fact that I realized that all of the things that are aggravating me are transitive and material and in the end really mean nothing. I was once told that the only way I would ever find true piece of mind was to realize that it was not as important to have things as it was to understand that it was okay to let everything go. Supposedly tough for a Taurus, if you believe in that kind of stuff- I find it mildly humorous and wonder how much of it is self-determining. However, I am getting closer every day to the point where the material things mean very little beyond convenience and comfort and if I am not comfortable in my space mentally, all of the physical things are pointless. I realize this post is a little disorganized but then so are my thoughts- I still have a ton of things to take care of and am working to get them organized. There are still some decisions that are going to have to be made that will be tough and painful, more so for my mom than myself. There will be changes in my life that may or may not be easy, but I think now I am in the mindset that I will be able to effect them and handle them without anger or frustration. I know I could not have done this without my friends and I thank them all for their support.

Well, off to have a frustrating day of car shopping... more on that later...