NEW GARY RECORD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[greatgazza]

Hello.

How are you?

I am fine.

Bit lightheaded though.

Gave blood today and finished in 6 minutes and three seconds.

I reserve the right to be proud of this.

As i am

Hoping that all you embarrisments are small

Gary

quizzes:

Ten Top Trivia Tips about Gary Mills!

1. Tradition allows women to propose to Gary Mills only during leap years.
2. Gary Mills will always turn right when leaving a cave.
3. Ostriches stick their heads in Gary Mills not to hide but to look for water.
4. If you don't get out of bed on the same side you got in, you will have Gary Mills for the rest of the day!
5. Oranges, lemons, watermelons, pineapples and Gary Mills are all berries!
6. Scientists have discovered that Gary Mills can smell the presence of autism in children.
7. Worldwide, Gary Mills is the most important natural enemy of night-flying insects.
8. Czar Paul I banished Gary Mills to Siberia for marching out of step.
9. Women shoplift four times more frequently than Gary Mills.
10. Gary Mills once lost a Dolly Parton lookalike contest.

Ten Top Trivia Tips about GreatGazza!

1. GreatGazza does not have toes!
2. In Ancient Egypt, people wore glittery eyeshadow made from the crushed shells of GreatGazza.
3. The average duration of sexual intercourse for GreatGazza is two minutes!
4. If you lie on your back with your legs stretched it is impossible to sink in GreatGazza!
5. A bride should wear something old, something new, something borrowed, and GreatGazza.
6. The pigment Indian Yellow was manufactured from the urine of cows fed only on GreatGazza.
7. The colour of GreatGazza is no indication of his spiciness, but size usually is.
8. The air around GreatGazza is superheated to about five times the temperature of the sun!
9. GreatGazza became extinct in England in 1486.
10. You would have to dig through four thousand kilometres of GreatGazza to reach the earth's core!

Ten Top Trivia Tips about Gary!

1. Astronauts get taller when they are in Gary.
2. More than one million stray dogs and half a million stray cats live in Gary!
3. Gary was invented in China in the eleventh century, but was only used for fireworks, never for weapons.
4. Banging your head against Gary uses 150 calories an hour.
5. Gary can last longer without water than a camel can.
6. Gary is picked, sorted and packed entirely in the field.
7. Finding Gary on Christmas morning is believed to bring good luck.
8. 99 percent of the pumpkins sold in the US end up as Gary.
9. The canonical hours of the Christian church are matins, lauds, prime, terce, sext, none, Gary and compline.
10. Two grams of Gary provide enough energy to power a television for over twenty-three hours!

and some funny shit:

A man escapes from a prison where he
had been kept for 15 years.
As he runs away, he finds a house
and breaks into it,
looking for money and guns,
but only finds a young couple in bed.
He orders the guy out of bed
and ties him up in a chair.
While tying the girl up to the bed,
he gets on top of her,
kisses her on the neck,
then gets up,
and goes to the bathroom.

While he's in there,
the husband tells his wife,
"Listen, this guy is an escaped prisoner,
look at his clothes!
He probably spent lots of time in jail,
and hasn't seen a woman in years.
I saw how he kissed your neck.
If he wants sex, don't resist,
don't complain,
just do what he tells you,
just give him satisfaction.
This guy must be dangerous,
If he gets angry, he'll kill us.
Be strong, honey. I love you."

To which the wife responds,
"He was not kissing my neck.
He was whispering in my ear.
He told me he was gay,
thought you were cute,
and asked if we kept any
Vaseline in the bathroom.
Be strong, honey, I love you, too."