(no subject)
Picture yourself standing on an open platform in the middle of blackness and being forced to choose one side to jump off of. Thats what I feel like. I feel like I have several different, equally appealing/unappealing options before me and i have to chose one. I'm sure thats probably a terrible analogy, but what can ya do, it was an on-the-spot kind of thing. But between volunteering, going to grad school, and getting a job, I feel completely apathetic. I don't have the desire to do any of them and I know full well that I can't do NOTHING with my life, nor do i want to. I want to WANT to do something, but I just don't so far, and its annoying because deadlines are fast approaching and I have nothing to feed them.
In addidion, i feel like this semester is trying to snake away from me undetected, meaning, I've had so much going on already in these two short weeks that it seems like I don't have much of a chance to spend time with people I really like on campus, and another part of that is, i think i'm starting to distance myself because I don't want to have to leave people and be upset about it. And I know thats a terrible way to go about it, but i just realized it and i don't think it was a conscious thing, but i just finding myself getting hesitant to hang out with people because I don't want to take away from bonds people can make with people who are going to remain here but they arn't because i'm here. I don't know its all very strange, but now that I've realized it maybe I should not do that because I know I'm really going to miss so many people here and I want to be able to leave while i'm still friends with them, and not cut ties already... even though the chances of me seeing most of them post-graduation, realistically, isn't very good. I don't know, I'm very weirded out about all of this... gross
In other news, the people I HAVE seen and the times i HAVE spent with them have been as wonderful as always, especially with the added bonus of having Liz Cotrupi and Sarah Beatty back on the PC campus. Hooray!
In addidion, i feel like this semester is trying to snake away from me undetected, meaning, I've had so much going on already in these two short weeks that it seems like I don't have much of a chance to spend time with people I really like on campus, and another part of that is, i think i'm starting to distance myself because I don't want to have to leave people and be upset about it. And I know thats a terrible way to go about it, but i just realized it and i don't think it was a conscious thing, but i just finding myself getting hesitant to hang out with people because I don't want to take away from bonds people can make with people who are going to remain here but they arn't because i'm here. I don't know its all very strange, but now that I've realized it maybe I should not do that because I know I'm really going to miss so many people here and I want to be able to leave while i'm still friends with them, and not cut ties already... even though the chances of me seeing most of them post-graduation, realistically, isn't very good. I don't know, I'm very weirded out about all of this... gross
In other news, the people I HAVE seen and the times i HAVE spent with them have been as wonderful as always, especially with the added bonus of having Liz Cotrupi and Sarah Beatty back on the PC campus. Hooray!