Another entry in the book of Cassandra Anne Etherington
My mind is in overdrive.
Even more than usual. It's always thinking. Always thinking things i don't want it to think.
I cherish my mind. It's what makes me good. I figure it's better than the average person. Does that make me pretentious?
I don't care if im pretentious. At least it lets me know i can feel genuine emotion.
I just figure I don't need other human beings. I have my kitten. He's adorable and soft. I sometimes rub him up against my face. I get this amazing sensation, and everything feels better.
How can i meet new people if im constantly waiting for them to come to me? I get this trait from my dad. I get alot of traits from my dad. Perhaps that why i resent him so.
I somehow get pulled into meeting with other depressed people. I think of all my friends. Good Lord, everyone I know. They are all depressed. They all pity their entire existance. Does this make me more depressed than i would be otherwise. Do they burden me? No. thats what i live for. I love these people. Their problems are my problems.
Why do I have this feeling that I can make everything alright for them.?
I'm trying to change the person that I am. I'm not sure if thats the right thing to do. You are the person you are. Why try to fake it right?. But what if the person I am right now, right at this very moment is a fake, isnt real?. How do I know what is genuine. All of my emotions cloud who im supposed to be.
I want to be a better person.
I want him to one day think of me as a good person. I wonder if that will ever happen.
I love the person he is. I'm no longer in love with him. I want to move into the future having gained another wonderful friend. He's taught me so much, but i've learned so little.
Even more than usual. It's always thinking. Always thinking things i don't want it to think.
I cherish my mind. It's what makes me good. I figure it's better than the average person. Does that make me pretentious?
I don't care if im pretentious. At least it lets me know i can feel genuine emotion.
I just figure I don't need other human beings. I have my kitten. He's adorable and soft. I sometimes rub him up against my face. I get this amazing sensation, and everything feels better.
How can i meet new people if im constantly waiting for them to come to me? I get this trait from my dad. I get alot of traits from my dad. Perhaps that why i resent him so.
I somehow get pulled into meeting with other depressed people. I think of all my friends. Good Lord, everyone I know. They are all depressed. They all pity their entire existance. Does this make me more depressed than i would be otherwise. Do they burden me? No. thats what i live for. I love these people. Their problems are my problems.
Why do I have this feeling that I can make everything alright for them.?
I'm trying to change the person that I am. I'm not sure if thats the right thing to do. You are the person you are. Why try to fake it right?. But what if the person I am right now, right at this very moment is a fake, isnt real?. How do I know what is genuine. All of my emotions cloud who im supposed to be.
I want to be a better person.
I want him to one day think of me as a good person. I wonder if that will ever happen.
I love the person he is. I'm no longer in love with him. I want to move into the future having gained another wonderful friend. He's taught me so much, but i've learned so little.