(no subject)
Ever have the feeling like you want to hack a limb off of yourself. Not because of discomfort, alienation, or the like.....
I've been playing with my throwing axe for like three minutes now sizing up my forearm.....
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Totally feeling odd lately. as some of you know, I'm not feeling teh Halloweens. Just not.
Its scary, cuz it's my holiday.
I feel like I should try to take that day off, but I alternatively cant be bothered.
I feel sick just thinking of it.
Now alot of people probably don't get why it's so important.... and thats understandable.
I don't like most other holidays.
Not Christmas
Not easter
Not any of em....
Halloween tho, I love it.
The concept of masquerade, candy collection, and the security of anonymity is Great. a liberating holiday with all the right connotations
*also there's the harvest/festival of the dead Idea as well, but We're not gonna touch that*
but this year, I'm lacking the Love for it.
Maybe its cuz I'm busy with school and work and practicing magic and such....
but I did this last year.... with a sideshow weighing on my mind then too...... and more school. alittle less work, but still....
I feel sick.
I cant help it.
I don't feel healthy at all right now.
mentally or physically.
and no one seems to take the time to consider this.
Everyone else seems to feel that I should care about their issues and not mine.
And I wish I could feel for em... but I can't....
I want my holiday.
I want it back.
I don't care how I have to get it, I want it back.
fuck.
I'm putting the axe away.
I've been playing with my throwing axe for like three minutes now sizing up my forearm.....
----------------------------
Totally feeling odd lately. as some of you know, I'm not feeling teh Halloweens. Just not.
Its scary, cuz it's my holiday.
I feel like I should try to take that day off, but I alternatively cant be bothered.
I feel sick just thinking of it.
Now alot of people probably don't get why it's so important.... and thats understandable.
I don't like most other holidays.
Not Christmas
Not easter
Not any of em....
Halloween tho, I love it.
The concept of masquerade, candy collection, and the security of anonymity is Great. a liberating holiday with all the right connotations
*also there's the harvest/festival of the dead Idea as well, but We're not gonna touch that*
but this year, I'm lacking the Love for it.
Maybe its cuz I'm busy with school and work and practicing magic and such....
but I did this last year.... with a sideshow weighing on my mind then too...... and more school. alittle less work, but still....
I feel sick.
I cant help it.
I don't feel healthy at all right now.
mentally or physically.
and no one seems to take the time to consider this.
Everyone else seems to feel that I should care about their issues and not mine.
And I wish I could feel for em... but I can't....
I want my holiday.
I want it back.
I don't care how I have to get it, I want it back.
fuck.
I'm putting the axe away.