Back from raiding on the High Seas
Well, bin offshore for the duration again, thank some magic sky pixie or other.
11th December, flew to Aberdeen and joined the boat. I was ill. The Friday before, I'd woken up feeling a bit rough and put it down to the 2 pints (honestly) the night before. I hadn't reckoned on catching the stinking Ebola virus that Leila's sister and her husband had had earlier in the week.
As it was her last day, I was banking on some quality time and the 4 of us were due to got out for a meal. Course, we got over to theirs and I started sweating and shaking, so went for a lie down. Got up, half an hour later, I nearly bowled the babysitter over, running to have a chat with the blue goldfish.
Do you want sound effects? I can provide sound effects, if you like.
Anyway, I lied and said that I was fine, even though I thought I'd pass out. I said that having a good puke had made me feel muuuuch better. We went to Gershwins and sat underneath Dean Street, which was quite bizarre.... I didn't manage to eat even half of my salad, but did better with the mango & rapsberry sorbet. Went back to theirs and spent the night sweating and having convulsions, interspersed with Leila scurrying off to make weird Russian herbal tea and saying,
"Drink! You must drink all of it!"
in a drill instructor voice. But a bit higher pitched and with a Russian accent, obviously. But she's a doctor, so I felt obliged to obey. So bah! That was the quality time.... couldn't even give her a kiss as she got on the train, in case I transmitted the lurgy to her.
Anyway, I digress...
We didn't sail till the Friday, because of the typhoons and we only went because the rep didn't want to have to go into the office every day. 31 day trip, 18 days alongside, mostly in Lerwick. I like Lerwick, pervert that I am. So, we had the 23rd to Christmas night in port there. When we were at sea, it was too rough to work for about half of the remaining days.
Got home after 9 on Wednesday and found that Xenia had committed sacrelige. The front room was covered in tinsel!! I ask you, tinsel - in my house?!?!
Spent a couple of days panicking about tax and stuff. Found a demand from Norway, for the exact ammount I paid for 2005, saying it was for 2005. Well, the Norwegian tax office can go and boil its collective head in a bucket of shit. Apparently, they do that all the time and I know they're just trying it on, because there was no threat to extradite me and hold me in prison, as with the last one.
They sent a demand, then a few days later, a threat to extradite etc. In the demand, they neglected to tell me how and how to pay, but said that instructions would follow. The dirty crab-eating halibut fondlers!
So, I found that I paid the Inland Revenue 2&half grand too much last year, so I went and traded the Kawasaki in for an end-of-line 1200 bandit with fairing and hard luggage. With trade in, that comes to £2,600 cash. Yippee! I'm going to celebrate by punching some kittens!
11th December, flew to Aberdeen and joined the boat. I was ill. The Friday before, I'd woken up feeling a bit rough and put it down to the 2 pints (honestly) the night before. I hadn't reckoned on catching the stinking Ebola virus that Leila's sister and her husband had had earlier in the week.
As it was her last day, I was banking on some quality time and the 4 of us were due to got out for a meal. Course, we got over to theirs and I started sweating and shaking, so went for a lie down. Got up, half an hour later, I nearly bowled the babysitter over, running to have a chat with the blue goldfish.
Do you want sound effects? I can provide sound effects, if you like.
Anyway, I lied and said that I was fine, even though I thought I'd pass out. I said that having a good puke had made me feel muuuuch better. We went to Gershwins and sat underneath Dean Street, which was quite bizarre.... I didn't manage to eat even half of my salad, but did better with the mango & rapsberry sorbet. Went back to theirs and spent the night sweating and having convulsions, interspersed with Leila scurrying off to make weird Russian herbal tea and saying,
"Drink! You must drink all of it!"
in a drill instructor voice. But a bit higher pitched and with a Russian accent, obviously. But she's a doctor, so I felt obliged to obey. So bah! That was the quality time.... couldn't even give her a kiss as she got on the train, in case I transmitted the lurgy to her.
Anyway, I digress...
We didn't sail till the Friday, because of the typhoons and we only went because the rep didn't want to have to go into the office every day. 31 day trip, 18 days alongside, mostly in Lerwick. I like Lerwick, pervert that I am. So, we had the 23rd to Christmas night in port there. When we were at sea, it was too rough to work for about half of the remaining days.
Got home after 9 on Wednesday and found that Xenia had committed sacrelige. The front room was covered in tinsel!! I ask you, tinsel - in my house?!?!
Spent a couple of days panicking about tax and stuff. Found a demand from Norway, for the exact ammount I paid for 2005, saying it was for 2005. Well, the Norwegian tax office can go and boil its collective head in a bucket of shit. Apparently, they do that all the time and I know they're just trying it on, because there was no threat to extradite me and hold me in prison, as with the last one.
They sent a demand, then a few days later, a threat to extradite etc. In the demand, they neglected to tell me how and how to pay, but said that instructions would follow. The dirty crab-eating halibut fondlers!
So, I found that I paid the Inland Revenue 2&half grand too much last year, so I went and traded the Kawasaki in for an end-of-line 1200 bandit with fairing and hard luggage. With trade in, that comes to £2,600 cash. Yippee! I'm going to celebrate by punching some kittens!