fic: i just want you to feel fine
Title: I Just Want You to Feel Fine
Rating: R
Couple: Rachel/Santana
Summary: Santana wants Brody out.
Prompt: Given to me by Anne - Pezberry as roommates. How Santana gets Brody to move out so she can take her rightful spot in Rachel's bed.
Disclaimer: I don't own them, but I certainly wish I did. They'd hump like bunnies on viagra.
A/N: Still testing the waters so yeah, hope you like it. Unbeta'd as I still am betaless. So mistakes are mine.
This thing she has for Rachel has to stop. No seriously, it’s getting ridiculous. It happened during Britney week junior year and she’ll never forget the way Rachel had looked in that skirt. Sure, she’d denied it to herself long after that, but it was like every time she saw Rachel walk into a room after that, she couldn’t stop thinking about her legs and that always led to her thoughts of her legs wrapped around things, namely Santana’s head or over her shoulders or around her waist.
It wasn’t as if anyone couldn’t understand her leg fetish, like look at Brittany. She’s nothing but legs and maybe that’s where her obsession started and she should be mad at Brittany, but the problem was that being mad at Brittany was really like the equivalent of being annoyed at a baby crying in a movie theater. The baby can’t help that the loud noises scare him and that his idiot parents brought him in the environment without thinking about his tiny baby ears. And Brittany really just had no concept of action and consequence most of the time. But that was a story for a different day.
Santana was just grateful that most of eleventh grade found Rachel looking like she’d raided Quinn’s closet because it was all Little House on the Prairie dresses and those legs remained covered. Plus, there was the little fact that she’d fallen helplessly in love with her best friend and was kind of going through some shit that her little crush on Rachel sort of left her mind.
Only senior year the legs were back with a vengeance and fuck, how many pairs of knee highs did Rachel own? Jesus fuck did Lima have some sort of tribute to the 80’s store tucked away because where did you even buy those things? But that year didn’t stop with just the socks. They were forced to interact on a more consistent basis. First with Santana trying to get Rachel not to run against Brittany in the class presidency, let’s face it she was going to need a competent VP. And she wouldn’t have even thought about trying out for West Side Story if it hadn’t been for Brittany’s whole “you’re a lesbicorn” speech that had both confused and aroused Santana and by the time she was coming down from her second orgasm, she’d somehow agreed to tryout and suddenly she was Anita.
Singing “A Boy Like That” to Rachel on that age felt like it hit a lot closer to home than it should have and yeah she thought Rachel deserved to have a boy a lot better than Finn, who had no fucking clue how to open his locker most days and was dumb enough to publicly out her even accidentally. He still hadn’t learned the whole mouth to brain ratio. And Rachel was smart going to do things with her life. Even Santana could admit that along with everyone else.
They’d been forced to spend a lot of time together rehearsing scenes just the two of them and Santana was annoyed by the stupid schedule Rachel has posted on her locker, but it had helped and she was surprised that every now again, Rachel would cut loose and tell a joke, and not just those wholesome ones you’d expect, no dirty ones that even Santana had never heard. Plus her dads were two of the funniest guys Santana had ever met and finding out the Rachel’s room wasn’t a shrine to Finn had told Santana that maybe there was hope for the girl yet.
A friendship had formed without her knowledge and Santana hadn’t even had a chance to fight it because by the time they were helping Puckerman graduate, she was realizing Rachel’s dreams for Broadway and just New York in general actually seemed in the realm of possibilities and she wondered why she had wasted so much time not wanting bigger things for herself. That was just an unfortunate side effect of liking Rachel Berry. She got under your skin and infected your brain and you just couldn’t shake her.
Which was why she’d come a running almost as soon as Kurt called the first time and being out at school had come with it’s own sort of eye opening experiences. Santana supposed she’d always noticed girls, but now she was noticing girls. Even Quinn had given her pause during Thanksgiving, you know before the whole slapping thing. But nothing had prepared her for Rachel. Rachel who’d been gone for all of six months now looked like that and fuck if it didn’t have Santana wanting to be a little closer to her.
So here she was, in New York, in an apartment with no walls and where she has to fight for the bathroom with two people who are actually more vain than she is. It feels worth it though, when she sees Rachel walking around in barely any clothing and now that she’s not professing her love to stupid football players, her singing is actually both moving and sexy. It’s definitely helped Santana along a few times while she’s in the bed across the apartment and has to slip her fingers between her own legs.
This crush is actually kind of gross she thinks because Santana Lopez doesn’t pine, not anymore. Not since the Brittany-induced fog finally cleared her mind and she realized they were never going to get it right. Nope, her days of pining were over and she’d just go out and find someone else to be under if it weren’t for the fact that sometimes she catches Rachel looking at her. Like really looking at her, after showers and when it’s so hot in the apartment that Santana is in nothing but a sports bra and tiny shorts she catches her, eyes lingering on her midriff or openly ogling her breasts.
She’s no stranger to those looks. She’s been getting them since long before she knew what they meant and she did date Noah Puckerman once upon a time. And if nothing else, Kentucky had gotten her accustomed to female appreciation. The way their cheeks would flush and they’d give you a shy smile. Yeah, Rachel wanted up on this. But there was just one problem.
And he was strolling through the apartment without any clothes on.
“See? This what I was talking about,” Kurt hisses at her over his bowl of cereal as he pretends not to check out the other guy’s goods. Kurt might like to pretend to be a prude, but Santana knows the truth. He’s jealous that Rachel gets the god and he gets the Nyada loser. And hell, maybe he should’ve thought about improving on his look instead of focusing on Rachel’s. That plan backfired hard.
“Um excuse me,” Santana snarks, giving Brody a disgusted look. “Some of us like to eat without cock and balls greeting us as brightly as the sun.”
Brody’s steps falter, almost like he forgot she now lives there and Kurt says her name all scandalized and yeah, this guy has gotta go and not just because Santana wants up on his lady. She just doesn’t like him and she doesn’t really know why, but she’s not going to bother to figure it out because she doesn’t have that kind of time.
“I’m sorry, but I believe in walking around my home comfortably,” he answers, his dick in her face as he reaches for the milk carton on the table.
She glances down and lets herself really look. God, Rachel really? “It’s hard to believe you’d be so comfortable when you look like that,” she smiles sweetly at him and mouths “small” to Kurt who stifles his laughter as a sneeze.
“Santana! Brody is just confident and I have to say it’s something to be admired. I think we could all stand to be a little more like him,” Rachel all but sings and Santana waits for the cartoon birds to start flying around her head.
Santana hears a challenge Rachel probably wasn’t aware she was issuing and stands up, whipping off her bra, but leaves on her bottoms because she’s just trying to prove a point and not give away the whole show and she hears Kurt and Rachel gasps and Brody’s just staring at her in shock or rather her breasts in shock and she just smirks. “I think I’m pretty confident and I don’t need to walk around topless,” she points out, spooning her own cereal into her mouth.
Kurt mutters something about running a brothel and Santana’s not sure who stares at her longer, Brody or Rachel, but Operation: Get Rid of Brody or rather Operation: Get Into Rachel’s Bed forms and she stands from the table and carries her bowl over to her bed where she still doesn’t bother to put on a top.
After that morning, Rachel’s eyes always greet her boobs first and then her face and Santana pretends not to notice. The girl also seems to want to hang out a lot more and won’t leave Santana alone with Brody for even five seconds, which seems really fucking ridiculous because Santana hasn’t wanted cock since junior year and she’d bet anything that Brody is no fucking Puckerman in bed. But the new rule just lends itself to Santana’s cause and she proceeds to get them both completely wasted with her.
From there on it’s not too difficult to get them into a stupid game of “I’ve Never” where Santana all but spill the dirty details of things she’s done with other girls and she can see the wheels turning in Rachel’s mind. But that plan doesn’t quite work in her favor because Brody and Rachel proceed to have really loud sex and Santana’s left alone and unable to enjoy the way that Rachel’s moans sound almost melodic because of the grunts that follow behind them.
The next night, Santana changes tactics and it isn’t surprising that Brody’s all for getting drunk with them again because dude totally thinks he’s getting laid again, but Santana has other ideas. She gets them both even drunker and the name of the game is “Truth or Dare.” And either he’s too stupid or too drunk to notice that she’s only asking Rachel questions and they’re all about if she’d ever have sex with a girl and if she could do it with any girl who would it be? She answers yes to the first and refuses to answer the second one, but Santana catches the look the other girl gives her and it’s so heated she actually feels herself getting wet.
She declares that the “truth” part is boring and Brody is practically passing out at this point, but Rachel’s still game. So, Santana just smirks and dares Rachel take off her shirt and like lick whipped cream from her finger and shit like that. It’s Rachel who turns the tables this time, though and dares Santana to lick the whipped cream off of her. She doesn’t specify where. So, Santana sprays it on her neck and the inside of her thighs and Brody doesn’t even protest, just watches in rapt attention as Santana’s tongue makes it’s way down the curve of Rachel’s neck and she gasps and then kinds whimpers and sighs at the same time because yeah, Santana knows what the fuck she’s doing with her tongue.
By the time she’s licking the cream from Rachel’s thighs, she can smell the other girl’s arousal and she takes a peek under Rachel’s skirt and sees there’s definitely a wet spot. She grins against the smooth skin of her warm thigh and nips for good measure and is rewarded with a low moan. One she’s definitely never heard Rachel make with Mr. Confident over there.
Santana pulls away and licks at her lips, smirking up at the dazed look on Rachel’s face. Brody’s not faring much better and he’s probably half-hard in his pants, but there’s no way Santana’s listening to a repeat performance of last night. But it’s Brody’s deep voice that dares them to kiss each other and fuck he hadn’t even been playing in this game for the last ten minutes, but that doesn’t mean she’s not going to take an opportunity presented. Rachel beats her to the punch though and grabs her, catching her off guard.
Before she can even respond, her back is hitting the floor and the brunette is all but straddling her waist as she sloppily kisses Santana’s lips. It’s hungry and there’s teeth tugging and Rachel’s making this little noise that’s driving her crazy. So, Santana takes control and pushes her tongue into Rachel’s mouth and they both moan at the contact. And fuck this is way better than she’d ever imagined. Why weren’t they doing this like all of the time?
They don’t stop kissing until Brody shifts closer and by that point Rachel had full on moved over top of her and was sort of grinding down. Fuck him for ruining the moment, Santana thinks as her hands release Rachel’s hips and she forces herself to sit up. She can’t look at Rachel’s face, though. Her lips are swollen and her pupils are blown and if she looks for too long, she’ll just keep going and Rachel will be pissed come morning. So, she mumbles something about being too sleepy and remembers that once upon a time she was a weepy drunk. And fuck maybe she should go into acting because she could win an academy award from this performance. Predictably, Rachel comforts her in bed and Brody’s forced to the other side.
After that Rachel’s eyes greet her breasts and then her lips and then her eyes. Kurt notices it too, but her rolls his eyes and mutters that he doesn’t want to know and maybe he should think about rooming with people that aren’t female.
Santana, to her credit, doesn’t call attention to the action. Instead she has Rachel help her look for a job and in turns helps the other girl run lines. She keeps her up later than Brody with idle girl talk and even has the audacity to climb into bed between them claiming to have a nightmare. Rachel’s such a good friend that Santana actually starts to feel a little bad for manipulating her, but it’s not like she just wants to fuck her and leave. This would’ve gotten old a long time ago if that was the case, but it’s been weeks and she’s just spending more and more time with the Rachel and learning that maybe it wouldn’t be so bad to see where this could lead.
But that just makes her think she needs to stop all together because she’s gotten to know Rachel and there’s really only two possible ways that this could turn out. Rachel will cheat with her and resent the hell out of her or hate herself for doing that to another person. And Santana wants neither of those to happen. She doesn’t want regret tied to anything that happens between them. She’s had enough of that to last a lifetime. So, she backs off and luckily for her that interview at that theatre Rachel helped her get comes through and she gets a job working for a box office. She forces herself to buy that stupid Metro North card Quinn’s been bugging her to get for the last month and actually uses it once because the blonde won’t stop harping on her to apologize for slapping her even though bitch slapped her first, but whatever. She keeps busy and makes friends and starts to feel a little bit like an actual adult for the first time in her life.
Turns out Rachel does the work for her and when she returns home from a late shift at work, she finds the girl sitting on the bed. She’s concerned immediately, but it doesn’t look like Rachel’s been crying, which isn’t really indicative of anything mind you because she cries over everything. She just looks sad and Santana feels something seize in her chest.
“What’s wrong?” Santana asks, sinking down on the mattress next to her.
“Brody and I broke up,” she says quietly and turns her head away.
It feels like something breaks inside of her and she’s almost mad at herself that she didn’t send him away before he could break Rachel’s heart. “What happened?”
Rachel takes a deep breath and looks back at Santana, something flickering in her eyes. “I ended it because I have feelings for someone else. I told him I owed it to myself to figure it out.”
Someone else? Had she been gone that long that she had missed a second person? Now Santana was even more mad at herself. “Oh, well I mean sure if you like some other guy, he’s probably better than Brody. Because seriously Rachel, that guy had douchbag written all over his Calvin Klein boxer brie-”
“It’s not a guy, Santana,” Rachel says softly and something about it stops Santana short. Her eyes widen and her heart starts to beat faster, but she can’t seem to rally her thoughts as they shoot through her mind and ricochet off of one another. “I have feelings for you.”
Rachel’s words stop all thought at all and Santana just stares at her because even though it’s what she wanted, she was unprepared to receive it so easily. “Oh,” she manages to squeak out then frowns at herself because she’s capable of saying more than that, but Rachel’s already launched into some diatribe and Santana missed a good portion of it it seems.
“-some sort of school girl crush, but Santana, you didn’t kiss me like you don’t want me. And you think I don’t see or hear, but I know you watch me and touch yourself thinking about me. The apartment’s large, but I have a keen sense of hearing and-”
Santana cuts her off with her lips and whatever else she was going to say is canceled out as Santana shows her exactly how much she wants her.
Rating: R
Couple: Rachel/Santana
Summary: Santana wants Brody out.
Prompt: Given to me by Anne - Pezberry as roommates. How Santana gets Brody to move out so she can take her rightful spot in Rachel's bed.
Disclaimer: I don't own them, but I certainly wish I did. They'd hump like bunnies on viagra.
A/N: Still testing the waters so yeah, hope you like it. Unbeta'd as I still am betaless. So mistakes are mine.
This thing she has for Rachel has to stop. No seriously, it’s getting ridiculous. It happened during Britney week junior year and she’ll never forget the way Rachel had looked in that skirt. Sure, she’d denied it to herself long after that, but it was like every time she saw Rachel walk into a room after that, she couldn’t stop thinking about her legs and that always led to her thoughts of her legs wrapped around things, namely Santana’s head or over her shoulders or around her waist.
It wasn’t as if anyone couldn’t understand her leg fetish, like look at Brittany. She’s nothing but legs and maybe that’s where her obsession started and she should be mad at Brittany, but the problem was that being mad at Brittany was really like the equivalent of being annoyed at a baby crying in a movie theater. The baby can’t help that the loud noises scare him and that his idiot parents brought him in the environment without thinking about his tiny baby ears. And Brittany really just had no concept of action and consequence most of the time. But that was a story for a different day.
Santana was just grateful that most of eleventh grade found Rachel looking like she’d raided Quinn’s closet because it was all Little House on the Prairie dresses and those legs remained covered. Plus, there was the little fact that she’d fallen helplessly in love with her best friend and was kind of going through some shit that her little crush on Rachel sort of left her mind.
Only senior year the legs were back with a vengeance and fuck, how many pairs of knee highs did Rachel own? Jesus fuck did Lima have some sort of tribute to the 80’s store tucked away because where did you even buy those things? But that year didn’t stop with just the socks. They were forced to interact on a more consistent basis. First with Santana trying to get Rachel not to run against Brittany in the class presidency, let’s face it she was going to need a competent VP. And she wouldn’t have even thought about trying out for West Side Story if it hadn’t been for Brittany’s whole “you’re a lesbicorn” speech that had both confused and aroused Santana and by the time she was coming down from her second orgasm, she’d somehow agreed to tryout and suddenly she was Anita.
Singing “A Boy Like That” to Rachel on that age felt like it hit a lot closer to home than it should have and yeah she thought Rachel deserved to have a boy a lot better than Finn, who had no fucking clue how to open his locker most days and was dumb enough to publicly out her even accidentally. He still hadn’t learned the whole mouth to brain ratio. And Rachel was smart going to do things with her life. Even Santana could admit that along with everyone else.
They’d been forced to spend a lot of time together rehearsing scenes just the two of them and Santana was annoyed by the stupid schedule Rachel has posted on her locker, but it had helped and she was surprised that every now again, Rachel would cut loose and tell a joke, and not just those wholesome ones you’d expect, no dirty ones that even Santana had never heard. Plus her dads were two of the funniest guys Santana had ever met and finding out the Rachel’s room wasn’t a shrine to Finn had told Santana that maybe there was hope for the girl yet.
A friendship had formed without her knowledge and Santana hadn’t even had a chance to fight it because by the time they were helping Puckerman graduate, she was realizing Rachel’s dreams for Broadway and just New York in general actually seemed in the realm of possibilities and she wondered why she had wasted so much time not wanting bigger things for herself. That was just an unfortunate side effect of liking Rachel Berry. She got under your skin and infected your brain and you just couldn’t shake her.
Which was why she’d come a running almost as soon as Kurt called the first time and being out at school had come with it’s own sort of eye opening experiences. Santana supposed she’d always noticed girls, but now she was noticing girls. Even Quinn had given her pause during Thanksgiving, you know before the whole slapping thing. But nothing had prepared her for Rachel. Rachel who’d been gone for all of six months now looked like that and fuck if it didn’t have Santana wanting to be a little closer to her.
So here she was, in New York, in an apartment with no walls and where she has to fight for the bathroom with two people who are actually more vain than she is. It feels worth it though, when she sees Rachel walking around in barely any clothing and now that she’s not professing her love to stupid football players, her singing is actually both moving and sexy. It’s definitely helped Santana along a few times while she’s in the bed across the apartment and has to slip her fingers between her own legs.
This crush is actually kind of gross she thinks because Santana Lopez doesn’t pine, not anymore. Not since the Brittany-induced fog finally cleared her mind and she realized they were never going to get it right. Nope, her days of pining were over and she’d just go out and find someone else to be under if it weren’t for the fact that sometimes she catches Rachel looking at her. Like really looking at her, after showers and when it’s so hot in the apartment that Santana is in nothing but a sports bra and tiny shorts she catches her, eyes lingering on her midriff or openly ogling her breasts.
She’s no stranger to those looks. She’s been getting them since long before she knew what they meant and she did date Noah Puckerman once upon a time. And if nothing else, Kentucky had gotten her accustomed to female appreciation. The way their cheeks would flush and they’d give you a shy smile. Yeah, Rachel wanted up on this. But there was just one problem.
And he was strolling through the apartment without any clothes on.
“See? This what I was talking about,” Kurt hisses at her over his bowl of cereal as he pretends not to check out the other guy’s goods. Kurt might like to pretend to be a prude, but Santana knows the truth. He’s jealous that Rachel gets the god and he gets the Nyada loser. And hell, maybe he should’ve thought about improving on his look instead of focusing on Rachel’s. That plan backfired hard.
“Um excuse me,” Santana snarks, giving Brody a disgusted look. “Some of us like to eat without cock and balls greeting us as brightly as the sun.”
Brody’s steps falter, almost like he forgot she now lives there and Kurt says her name all scandalized and yeah, this guy has gotta go and not just because Santana wants up on his lady. She just doesn’t like him and she doesn’t really know why, but she’s not going to bother to figure it out because she doesn’t have that kind of time.
“I’m sorry, but I believe in walking around my home comfortably,” he answers, his dick in her face as he reaches for the milk carton on the table.
She glances down and lets herself really look. God, Rachel really? “It’s hard to believe you’d be so comfortable when you look like that,” she smiles sweetly at him and mouths “small” to Kurt who stifles his laughter as a sneeze.
“Santana! Brody is just confident and I have to say it’s something to be admired. I think we could all stand to be a little more like him,” Rachel all but sings and Santana waits for the cartoon birds to start flying around her head.
Santana hears a challenge Rachel probably wasn’t aware she was issuing and stands up, whipping off her bra, but leaves on her bottoms because she’s just trying to prove a point and not give away the whole show and she hears Kurt and Rachel gasps and Brody’s just staring at her in shock or rather her breasts in shock and she just smirks. “I think I’m pretty confident and I don’t need to walk around topless,” she points out, spooning her own cereal into her mouth.
Kurt mutters something about running a brothel and Santana’s not sure who stares at her longer, Brody or Rachel, but Operation: Get Rid of Brody or rather Operation: Get Into Rachel’s Bed forms and she stands from the table and carries her bowl over to her bed where she still doesn’t bother to put on a top.
After that morning, Rachel’s eyes always greet her boobs first and then her face and Santana pretends not to notice. The girl also seems to want to hang out a lot more and won’t leave Santana alone with Brody for even five seconds, which seems really fucking ridiculous because Santana hasn’t wanted cock since junior year and she’d bet anything that Brody is no fucking Puckerman in bed. But the new rule just lends itself to Santana’s cause and she proceeds to get them both completely wasted with her.
From there on it’s not too difficult to get them into a stupid game of “I’ve Never” where Santana all but spill the dirty details of things she’s done with other girls and she can see the wheels turning in Rachel’s mind. But that plan doesn’t quite work in her favor because Brody and Rachel proceed to have really loud sex and Santana’s left alone and unable to enjoy the way that Rachel’s moans sound almost melodic because of the grunts that follow behind them.
The next night, Santana changes tactics and it isn’t surprising that Brody’s all for getting drunk with them again because dude totally thinks he’s getting laid again, but Santana has other ideas. She gets them both even drunker and the name of the game is “Truth or Dare.” And either he’s too stupid or too drunk to notice that she’s only asking Rachel questions and they’re all about if she’d ever have sex with a girl and if she could do it with any girl who would it be? She answers yes to the first and refuses to answer the second one, but Santana catches the look the other girl gives her and it’s so heated she actually feels herself getting wet.
She declares that the “truth” part is boring and Brody is practically passing out at this point, but Rachel’s still game. So, Santana just smirks and dares Rachel take off her shirt and like lick whipped cream from her finger and shit like that. It’s Rachel who turns the tables this time, though and dares Santana to lick the whipped cream off of her. She doesn’t specify where. So, Santana sprays it on her neck and the inside of her thighs and Brody doesn’t even protest, just watches in rapt attention as Santana’s tongue makes it’s way down the curve of Rachel’s neck and she gasps and then kinds whimpers and sighs at the same time because yeah, Santana knows what the fuck she’s doing with her tongue.
By the time she’s licking the cream from Rachel’s thighs, she can smell the other girl’s arousal and she takes a peek under Rachel’s skirt and sees there’s definitely a wet spot. She grins against the smooth skin of her warm thigh and nips for good measure and is rewarded with a low moan. One she’s definitely never heard Rachel make with Mr. Confident over there.
Santana pulls away and licks at her lips, smirking up at the dazed look on Rachel’s face. Brody’s not faring much better and he’s probably half-hard in his pants, but there’s no way Santana’s listening to a repeat performance of last night. But it’s Brody’s deep voice that dares them to kiss each other and fuck he hadn’t even been playing in this game for the last ten minutes, but that doesn’t mean she’s not going to take an opportunity presented. Rachel beats her to the punch though and grabs her, catching her off guard.
Before she can even respond, her back is hitting the floor and the brunette is all but straddling her waist as she sloppily kisses Santana’s lips. It’s hungry and there’s teeth tugging and Rachel’s making this little noise that’s driving her crazy. So, Santana takes control and pushes her tongue into Rachel’s mouth and they both moan at the contact. And fuck this is way better than she’d ever imagined. Why weren’t they doing this like all of the time?
They don’t stop kissing until Brody shifts closer and by that point Rachel had full on moved over top of her and was sort of grinding down. Fuck him for ruining the moment, Santana thinks as her hands release Rachel’s hips and she forces herself to sit up. She can’t look at Rachel’s face, though. Her lips are swollen and her pupils are blown and if she looks for too long, she’ll just keep going and Rachel will be pissed come morning. So, she mumbles something about being too sleepy and remembers that once upon a time she was a weepy drunk. And fuck maybe she should go into acting because she could win an academy award from this performance. Predictably, Rachel comforts her in bed and Brody’s forced to the other side.
After that Rachel’s eyes greet her breasts and then her lips and then her eyes. Kurt notices it too, but her rolls his eyes and mutters that he doesn’t want to know and maybe he should think about rooming with people that aren’t female.
Santana, to her credit, doesn’t call attention to the action. Instead she has Rachel help her look for a job and in turns helps the other girl run lines. She keeps her up later than Brody with idle girl talk and even has the audacity to climb into bed between them claiming to have a nightmare. Rachel’s such a good friend that Santana actually starts to feel a little bad for manipulating her, but it’s not like she just wants to fuck her and leave. This would’ve gotten old a long time ago if that was the case, but it’s been weeks and she’s just spending more and more time with the Rachel and learning that maybe it wouldn’t be so bad to see where this could lead.
But that just makes her think she needs to stop all together because she’s gotten to know Rachel and there’s really only two possible ways that this could turn out. Rachel will cheat with her and resent the hell out of her or hate herself for doing that to another person. And Santana wants neither of those to happen. She doesn’t want regret tied to anything that happens between them. She’s had enough of that to last a lifetime. So, she backs off and luckily for her that interview at that theatre Rachel helped her get comes through and she gets a job working for a box office. She forces herself to buy that stupid Metro North card Quinn’s been bugging her to get for the last month and actually uses it once because the blonde won’t stop harping on her to apologize for slapping her even though bitch slapped her first, but whatever. She keeps busy and makes friends and starts to feel a little bit like an actual adult for the first time in her life.
Turns out Rachel does the work for her and when she returns home from a late shift at work, she finds the girl sitting on the bed. She’s concerned immediately, but it doesn’t look like Rachel’s been crying, which isn’t really indicative of anything mind you because she cries over everything. She just looks sad and Santana feels something seize in her chest.
“What’s wrong?” Santana asks, sinking down on the mattress next to her.
“Brody and I broke up,” she says quietly and turns her head away.
It feels like something breaks inside of her and she’s almost mad at herself that she didn’t send him away before he could break Rachel’s heart. “What happened?”
Rachel takes a deep breath and looks back at Santana, something flickering in her eyes. “I ended it because I have feelings for someone else. I told him I owed it to myself to figure it out.”
Someone else? Had she been gone that long that she had missed a second person? Now Santana was even more mad at herself. “Oh, well I mean sure if you like some other guy, he’s probably better than Brody. Because seriously Rachel, that guy had douchbag written all over his Calvin Klein boxer brie-”
“It’s not a guy, Santana,” Rachel says softly and something about it stops Santana short. Her eyes widen and her heart starts to beat faster, but she can’t seem to rally her thoughts as they shoot through her mind and ricochet off of one another. “I have feelings for you.”
Rachel’s words stop all thought at all and Santana just stares at her because even though it’s what she wanted, she was unprepared to receive it so easily. “Oh,” she manages to squeak out then frowns at herself because she’s capable of saying more than that, but Rachel’s already launched into some diatribe and Santana missed a good portion of it it seems.
“-some sort of school girl crush, but Santana, you didn’t kiss me like you don’t want me. And you think I don’t see or hear, but I know you watch me and touch yourself thinking about me. The apartment’s large, but I have a keen sense of hearing and-”
Santana cuts her off with her lips and whatever else she was going to say is canceled out as Santana shows her exactly how much she wants her.