(no subject)
I was going through Lj's just now... hard to believe how much things have changed in the span of...months. 8 months to be exact. And what was life before two years ago? To be honest, I really can't remember. Let alone life - REAL LIFE (and not just all these conversations or journal entries I've had to read off just to remember) - before 4 months ago? I can't remember that either.
It's like my life was changed COMPLETELY. It took a COMPLETELY different route from where I thought I was going.
I mean, I feel like I'm in A WHOLE NEW WORLD now. Sooner or later I'm gonna be going off to some new, strange place, meet new people, make new friends... my life's gonna change again. ONE THING AT A TIME, PLEASE. Hehe. But I think, like right now, I like where I'm headed. I guess some of that's because...I just don't have a choice, you know? I mean, I DO have a choice. Be discontent and stupid and complain and shit like that. But, fuck, I'm sick of being so fuckin sad all the time. Right now all I want is to be HAPPY. And I've learned how to make myself happy. Although I've got so much more to learn.. hehe. But anyway, I don't really, really have a choice. None but this. No complaining and just moving forward. Cuz this is LIFE, you know?
How many times are we gonna be here?
How many times are we gonna live THIS DAY?
...how many people are we gonna meet who will be just like t
----so I was writing that entry and like ten thirty last night... and all of a sudden, BAM. Brownout!!! FUCK, RIGHT? HAHA. I was freakin out!
Especially cuz I watched Silent Hill with Alex, Carms, Jocel and Caludio (my prom date!) yesterday. Freaky shit, man. Anyway, so it went all BLACK. I couldn't see A THING. And in the movie, the DARKNESS is supposed to be like fuckin scary shit, right? HAHA. Stupid. I actually started imagining that freakish little girl coming to get me. HAHA. So I was trying to feel around for my phone for even SOME light, but FUCK I couldn't find it. So I started creaming MOOOOOOM MOMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM and from her room, I could hear her screaming back, "DON'T PANIC" - well, too late, mum... I was already in full-panic mode. HAHA. And then my yaya came in to the room and I screamed at her not to leave me and she was just laughing.
Anyway, that was really stupid. I don't know, really stupid things have been happening to me lately. Haha.
Also, I've been feeling really, really INCOMPLETE. Like something BIG is missing. No, I'm not sad all the time. I've been pretty happy, actually! It's just that...my life feels so EMPTY. Hollow. Something. You know? And I know EXACTLY what's missing. Ahh, whatever.
It's like my life was changed COMPLETELY. It took a COMPLETELY different route from where I thought I was going.
I mean, I feel like I'm in A WHOLE NEW WORLD now. Sooner or later I'm gonna be going off to some new, strange place, meet new people, make new friends... my life's gonna change again. ONE THING AT A TIME, PLEASE. Hehe. But I think, like right now, I like where I'm headed. I guess some of that's because...I just don't have a choice, you know? I mean, I DO have a choice. Be discontent and stupid and complain and shit like that. But, fuck, I'm sick of being so fuckin sad all the time. Right now all I want is to be HAPPY. And I've learned how to make myself happy. Although I've got so much more to learn.. hehe. But anyway, I don't really, really have a choice. None but this. No complaining and just moving forward. Cuz this is LIFE, you know?
How many times are we gonna be here?
How many times are we gonna live THIS DAY?
...how many people are we gonna meet who will be just like t
----so I was writing that entry and like ten thirty last night... and all of a sudden, BAM. Brownout!!! FUCK, RIGHT? HAHA. I was freakin out!
Especially cuz I watched Silent Hill with Alex, Carms, Jocel and Caludio (my prom date!) yesterday. Freaky shit, man. Anyway, so it went all BLACK. I couldn't see A THING. And in the movie, the DARKNESS is supposed to be like fuckin scary shit, right? HAHA. Stupid. I actually started imagining that freakish little girl coming to get me. HAHA. So I was trying to feel around for my phone for even SOME light, but FUCK I couldn't find it. So I started creaming MOOOOOOM MOMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM and from her room, I could hear her screaming back, "DON'T PANIC" - well, too late, mum... I was already in full-panic mode. HAHA. And then my yaya came in to the room and I screamed at her not to leave me and she was just laughing.
Anyway, that was really stupid. I don't know, really stupid things have been happening to me lately. Haha.
Also, I've been feeling really, really INCOMPLETE. Like something BIG is missing. No, I'm not sad all the time. I've been pretty happy, actually! It's just that...my life feels so EMPTY. Hollow. Something. You know? And I know EXACTLY what's missing. Ahh, whatever.