My head hurts
Im trying to be happy, i really am but its alot of hard work... Visiting my mom just makes me feel useless, helpless and insignificant all at the same time. No matter how many people I help, or what I do it seems like nothing if I cant help the people I care about. Ive been told I think too much, I care to much, and that at my age I should be worrying about having lots of sex with different people, and getting drunk and generally being a college kid. I have been drinking but its mostly just to take the edge off... at the beginning of the year it was physical pain... my foot, but now its emotional... just to get through the day... I dont want to have to depend on it for the rest of my life but I dont know what else to do.
It seems like what I really want, Ill never have.
No matter how many people Im surronded by I wonder if Ill ever shake this feeling of being alone, of being the last one of whatever I am. I feel like Im the last of a certain species looking for more people like me and preying not to be extinct.
It seems like what I really want, Ill never have.
No matter how many people Im surronded by I wonder if Ill ever shake this feeling of being alone, of being the last one of whatever I am. I feel like Im the last of a certain species looking for more people like me and preying not to be extinct.