Ridiculous Story Pt 3
Ah, being the Hulk is fun.
I oughtta know, cause I sure as heck was having fun trashing the Avengers. Ah, male ego. Here I was, some no name kid from Alabama, taking down the Earth's Mightiest Heroes. Fun stuff.
Shame it didn't last too long though...
Anyway, I was fighting the Avengers. I tossed Iron Man throw a building, blown away Captain America and Spider-Man with a sonic boom, and was beating the snot out of Hercules, all the while growing stronger and stronger. Finally, I took them all down. And I mean took them ALL down. Hehe. It was fun.
I picked up Hercules' unconsciouss form. "RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" I shouted hoisting him over my head. "HULK IS VICTORIOUS! HULK HAS SMASHED PUNY AVENGERS! RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! WHO WANTS TO TRY TO TAKE HULK NOW!"
BLALUM!
Now THAT was a noise I wasn't expecting.
I turned around. There was a person standing in a wisp of blue smoke. As it cleared I saw it was...COLIN MOCHRIE?!?!?!?!
"Hey, c'mon, hit me," he said. "I'll be your lightning rod of hate."
I just looked at him for a minute. Then I started laughing uncontrollably. I dropped Hercules and fell over on my side laughing. "HAHAHAHAheeheeBWAhahahohoheeHAHAHAH!" And slowly but steadily I changed from being the Hulk back to being myself.
I stood up, still laughing. "Wow," I said, "that was great. You are like the funniest guy on Whose Line, man! Bwahahaha!"
"Thanks," he said. "Now how about getting a tighter grip on your underpants."
"What?" Then I realized the black underwear I was wearing hadn't quite returned to normal size like I had. "Oh, hehe." I grabbed my now Hulk-size undies, and pulled them up best I could, feeling rather embarassed. "So, uh, what the frakk are you doing here?"
"I'm here to help you on journey."
"Journey? What journey? What are you talking about? I slipped on a funky banana peel, that's how this whole mess started, not as some journey."
"You mistook what happened to you as chance."
"Uh-huh. So what do you have to do with this?"
"I'm here to explain to you what the frakk is going on. You have been sent on the Journey of the 17 Bizarre Encounters."
I frowned. "17 bizarre encounters? What do you mean?"
"You were hoping for a little more pizazz in your life right?"
"Right."
"The Banana sensed this so it placed itself in your path to send you on the Journey."
"Okaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay," I said still skeptical. "So what happens now?"
"Well, you've endured three of the encounters already. You went to Asgard, fought Stewie Griffin, and now you've fought the Avengers. Only fourteen more encounters to go. Now the REAL fun begins. From here on out the encounters get even weirder and more bizarre. You'll need a lot of things in order to retain your sanity. You'll need the wits of a serpent, the heart of a lion, and the Rock of Gibralter."
Okay, that made no sense whatsoever, I thought. "Okay, that made no sense whatsoever."
"I know, that was just a little word gag to relax you." He smiled. "Anyway, on each of your journeys you will aquire different items and traits. The first is this." He held up his hand. "The Extra Dimensional Banana Peel. The other two are your underpants and the powers of the Hulk. You will need them to prepare you for the 17th Anti-Climatic-but-still-incredibly-weird-Encounter."
"Alright, so what now?"
"Well, I would advise you to use the Banana Peel before some very ticked off Avengers wake up and kick your ass. So I'll see ya, kid."
BLALUM! Another puff of blue smoke and he was gone, leaving me standing there holding a magic banana peel and a giant pair of underwear. I looked around. The Avengers were coming to.
"Okay, here goes nothing," I said. I dropped the banana peel and slipped on it. Once again I went flying, and God only knew what was gonna happen next...
To be continued...
I oughtta know, cause I sure as heck was having fun trashing the Avengers. Ah, male ego. Here I was, some no name kid from Alabama, taking down the Earth's Mightiest Heroes. Fun stuff.
Shame it didn't last too long though...
Anyway, I was fighting the Avengers. I tossed Iron Man throw a building, blown away Captain America and Spider-Man with a sonic boom, and was beating the snot out of Hercules, all the while growing stronger and stronger. Finally, I took them all down. And I mean took them ALL down. Hehe. It was fun.
I picked up Hercules' unconsciouss form. "RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" I shouted hoisting him over my head. "HULK IS VICTORIOUS! HULK HAS SMASHED PUNY AVENGERS! RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! WHO WANTS TO TRY TO TAKE HULK NOW!"
BLALUM!
Now THAT was a noise I wasn't expecting.
I turned around. There was a person standing in a wisp of blue smoke. As it cleared I saw it was...COLIN MOCHRIE?!?!?!?!
"Hey, c'mon, hit me," he said. "I'll be your lightning rod of hate."
I just looked at him for a minute. Then I started laughing uncontrollably. I dropped Hercules and fell over on my side laughing. "HAHAHAHAheeheeBWAhahahohoheeHAHAHAH!" And slowly but steadily I changed from being the Hulk back to being myself.
I stood up, still laughing. "Wow," I said, "that was great. You are like the funniest guy on Whose Line, man! Bwahahaha!"
"Thanks," he said. "Now how about getting a tighter grip on your underpants."
"What?" Then I realized the black underwear I was wearing hadn't quite returned to normal size like I had. "Oh, hehe." I grabbed my now Hulk-size undies, and pulled them up best I could, feeling rather embarassed. "So, uh, what the frakk are you doing here?"
"I'm here to help you on journey."
"Journey? What journey? What are you talking about? I slipped on a funky banana peel, that's how this whole mess started, not as some journey."
"You mistook what happened to you as chance."
"Uh-huh. So what do you have to do with this?"
"I'm here to explain to you what the frakk is going on. You have been sent on the Journey of the 17 Bizarre Encounters."
I frowned. "17 bizarre encounters? What do you mean?"
"You were hoping for a little more pizazz in your life right?"
"Right."
"The Banana sensed this so it placed itself in your path to send you on the Journey."
"Okaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay," I said still skeptical. "So what happens now?"
"Well, you've endured three of the encounters already. You went to Asgard, fought Stewie Griffin, and now you've fought the Avengers. Only fourteen more encounters to go. Now the REAL fun begins. From here on out the encounters get even weirder and more bizarre. You'll need a lot of things in order to retain your sanity. You'll need the wits of a serpent, the heart of a lion, and the Rock of Gibralter."
Okay, that made no sense whatsoever, I thought. "Okay, that made no sense whatsoever."
"I know, that was just a little word gag to relax you." He smiled. "Anyway, on each of your journeys you will aquire different items and traits. The first is this." He held up his hand. "The Extra Dimensional Banana Peel. The other two are your underpants and the powers of the Hulk. You will need them to prepare you for the 17th Anti-Climatic-but-still-incredibly-weird-Encounter."
"Alright, so what now?"
"Well, I would advise you to use the Banana Peel before some very ticked off Avengers wake up and kick your ass. So I'll see ya, kid."
BLALUM! Another puff of blue smoke and he was gone, leaving me standing there holding a magic banana peel and a giant pair of underwear. I looked around. The Avengers were coming to.
"Okay, here goes nothing," I said. I dropped the banana peel and slipped on it. Once again I went flying, and God only knew what was gonna happen next...
To be continued...