(no subject)
I heard something today that was slightly shocking, made me stutter when I explained it again, but still made me smile. I am calming myself and not letting slight bumps in the road ruin a perfect path. It is hard, but I breathe and remember the way it was, the way it will be, and try to forget the present. You say, “If we don’t have trust, what do we have?” I say, “Distance and a jealous longing.” So then we speak of jealousy and go back to when I told you it was the darkest of all feelings. Or was that loneliness? It’s sort of the same. I long for you and am lonely and become jealous of the people that see your blue blue eyes every day, people who don’t even give them a second look. I am jealous because I see further, but they see constantly. Yes, it hurts. Call me a crybaby. I’d rather be that than a burning engine, waiting to explode.
Then they tell you you're beautiful. I know this, I've known this, I will know this forever. They see this for the first time and are mesmerized. I've seen this thousands of times and my eyes will continue to widen as you walk into the room. I've been drinking for days, but this has to stop. I cannot keep pushing these feelings away. I cannot keep pushing you, of all people, so far away.
Can you really start a tractor with scotch?
Then they tell you you're beautiful. I know this, I've known this, I will know this forever. They see this for the first time and are mesmerized. I've seen this thousands of times and my eyes will continue to widen as you walk into the room. I've been drinking for days, but this has to stop. I cannot keep pushing these feelings away. I cannot keep pushing you, of all people, so far away.
Can you really start a tractor with scotch?