(no subject)
September is almost over. I missed my Great Uncle's memorial service in San Diego last weekend because I couldn't find a flight for less than $340 dollars, I hadn't seen him or any of his family in almost a decade, and honestly - the idea of walking into an airport and facing security freaks me out. I don't mind the flying itself, I actually remember kind of liking it. And I love traveling at weird times. I'm not much of a morning person but I actually DO love that weird cool gray light of dawn, when it's so quiet and fresh and anything is possible. I love watching the light get brighter. I like being on the highway when there's practically no one else around. I really love feeling like I'm participating in some huge, amazing secret.
But.
I can't do security. I have trust and personal space issues as it is, the idea that some poorly-trained, badly-paid and cranky scanner-jockey can decide to make my life embarrassingly difficult just because he's having a bad day or I end up in the wrong place in line? That I'm not good with. It's the randomness of it. To many unknowns. It's embarrassing and stressful and unless I have a couple people with me to watch my back, I'm not doing it. So no cross-country flights to honor my Grandma's last surviving sibling. She's the last survivor of seven kids and I'm sure she never imagined that she'd bury her parents, her husband, her cousins, her sisters-in-law, her friends and ALL of her siblings. And I couldn't jump on a plane to go and honor her brother in her place because I couldn't face the cost and anxiety of doing it alone. What a world we live in.
But.
I can't do security. I have trust and personal space issues as it is, the idea that some poorly-trained, badly-paid and cranky scanner-jockey can decide to make my life embarrassingly difficult just because he's having a bad day or I end up in the wrong place in line? That I'm not good with. It's the randomness of it. To many unknowns. It's embarrassing and stressful and unless I have a couple people with me to watch my back, I'm not doing it. So no cross-country flights to honor my Grandma's last surviving sibling. She's the last survivor of seven kids and I'm sure she never imagined that she'd bury her parents, her husband, her cousins, her sisters-in-law, her friends and ALL of her siblings. And I couldn't jump on a plane to go and honor her brother in her place because I couldn't face the cost and anxiety of doing it alone. What a world we live in.