From Ashes to Blood and Dust to Flesh

[graymachine]

Too long in posting, I think, but nonetheless here it goes. I've spent the last week and a half in Lima, Oh, and I can't say that I like it. I've tested out, as the opportunity was available, being a sot at the bar. You know, a barfly, and I can't say that I like. Listening to old men talk about things, cradled around a bar, is fun in it's way, but isn't enjoyable. I think that the majority of my unhappiness extends from my inability to express myself. I lack the ability to express my thoughts well to the people that I care about, and I think that I make things worse by it. Just this past weekend, for example, I think that I hurt Jacob and Jaime because I couldn't express myself well enough, perhaps Jaime more so. It is just so *hard* finding the words for what I want to say until it is simply too late to say them. Perhaps that is why I lose dear friends like the two of them. I don't know, I've only been able to express myself in writing to the degree that I want. Perhaps I should carry around a notepad and simply write my thoughts out from now on. We'll see, I suppose.

PEOPLE ON MY FRIENDS LIST! POST SOMETHING ON THIS, EVEN IF IT IS UNRELATED! I WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU MOTHERFUCKERS!