(no subject)
theres something here im missing, a piece of life of living. maybe everyone is missing it and we learn to deal or the lucky ones become whole by some magic they had up their sleeves, i just don't know. i'd like to be that girl who can see the best in everything and maybe even help others to see it. but i'm not, or at least thats what i'm led to beleive. its not their fault. hell i applaud honesty but i wish maybe someone could see past it? im not even sure if theres anything to see but...i'd like it if there was. i'm not even sad or down, im just missing. i wish i could retrace my steps and pick up wherever i got lost. more than anything id like to see where i am.
i want to understand, i do. there is no right or wrong because its all a matter of opinion. but i want to see why the people so close to me that it hurts, do things. i dont believe its boredom. maybe it is, i don't know. i want a world where drugs dont exist. would this work? or are some people only drugs? its not wrong, its not. i have no preconceived ideas of anyone, at least i try not to. i just don't understand. because i look at some people and i want to see them so badly but i don't i only see that. i try i really do, i believe i do. but i'm not sure, i never am. i feel like i've lost people that arent even gone.
maybe i could use some words. real ones, ones of substance and not a fake sympathy. kind words. do those still exist? because i don't want to loose a faith and hope that i felt so close to getting. i just dont know what to do. just some kind words, all i ask.
i want to understand, i do. there is no right or wrong because its all a matter of opinion. but i want to see why the people so close to me that it hurts, do things. i dont believe its boredom. maybe it is, i don't know. i want a world where drugs dont exist. would this work? or are some people only drugs? its not wrong, its not. i have no preconceived ideas of anyone, at least i try not to. i just don't understand. because i look at some people and i want to see them so badly but i don't i only see that. i try i really do, i believe i do. but i'm not sure, i never am. i feel like i've lost people that arent even gone.
maybe i could use some words. real ones, ones of substance and not a fake sympathy. kind words. do those still exist? because i don't want to loose a faith and hope that i felt so close to getting. i just dont know what to do. just some kind words, all i ask.