Interesting
well matt is starting to get on my nerves, but this hasn't happened for at least a year and a half or so. this thing happened back in fairbanks when i was up there for the fall of 02, when matt started to hang out in meaghens room all the time. granted i was not in there all that much, i was going through emotional hell in my ex girlfriend's room, but thats not the point the point is every time i was in meaghens room with matt i got insulted all the time by him to make him funny and seem intellegent and popular with who ever was in the room. This happened with aleina and with this i stoped going to meaghens room. I dont care if i get insulted by my frineds i insult them all the time but he did this all the time when i was there and ive know several times behind my back. Im very cool with insult trading when im there and i can dish them back but not with impressing other people. Well not to say i havent done this myself but this is getting redicklious. There is this girl that im attrackted to, she 17 and one of amanda's frineds (befor you all attack me on the age thing ive been good so dont go there) and we have long chats on the phone and the relationships been great. I intoduce andrea to matt when we went bowling last friday and she braught her friend amy with her (she lives in colorado) she has a boyfrined so matt and i flirt harmlessly with her becuae i know its not going anywher. but i get the vibe from her and amy that she likes me so im cool with this but matt was all over her.
Yesterday we went to the zoo all 4 of us and he was all over andrea, so i was like kinda bumbed, but what ever and i just stated to hang with amy. We both kinda felt like the third weel, and i get my jokes in but matt makes me feel like im just a steping stool for what he wants and i feel hes stealing her away from me? He knows that i like her, but shit i dont know. He is all over her, i try to get into closeto her to chat with her about something and matt some how cuts between us, he flirts with her constantly and ooglaing over her. Nothing i have ever seen with him and aleina, and its just grossing me out. when i had to go to work they went to play mini golf, go carts, and when i chat with them i get insulted. I dont know, i get the vibe and according to amy she is going after matt. does he know shes 17 when her body and aditude says shes isnt? and what about the fall? dude your leaving in like a month and a half, what the fuck are you doing? Matt what are you doing to yourself and what are you doing to me? Gawd i love matt to death, hes my best frined but i cant seem to find th balls to tell him how i feel. why is this so hard? Errr..My biggest concer is whats going to happen to matt in fairbanks, without aleina or matt looking out for him and being there for him? No friends, what kind of life will he have, and how far down is he going to slip?
aleina i think you where right, matt is not the man i thought he was. I think out of all the males i know there is only one other with the same kind of values that i have and i need to reconfirm about what his values are again because hes starting to slip as well. My old fashoned values are no longer in matt or if they are still there they are no longer working. Im starting to feel like im a dead weight like i was in meaghens room, and i feel like im getting phased out, again, and again. how do i let this happen? why am i so pure and my friends arnt? ive been phased out by everyone except aleina it feels like. Im not saying everyone eles has more important things to do then worry or concern about me, but i feel i get left out of things and i dont get invited to do things becuae of what i am. I wont do drugs and im not into heavy drinking. I feel like a babysitter and i feel like im telling everyone to behave. (these last statements exclude the uaa gang i hang out with, they tell me to behave ;P, im the funny man there in that group and we have a great relationship)
whats going on with me? why am i drifting away from my frineds? why am i a good person? why is my inner child telling me to stay safe and fallow my heart and morals? Fuck them, all that its getting me is heart ach and inner pain. Everyone who truly knows me says that i have the heart of a mormon... i find this hard to beleave with all the crap i talk about, but my first impression seems make me one. Im respectful and caring. gosh i feel like a pushover and people can get me to do what everythey want out of me, man this is crazy... I really beleave that this new age of punks, preps, goths, skaters, stoners, asians, we of the helpless romantics are surely very few and far between. We are dying....
@->--
naTe...
Yesterday we went to the zoo all 4 of us and he was all over andrea, so i was like kinda bumbed, but what ever and i just stated to hang with amy. We both kinda felt like the third weel, and i get my jokes in but matt makes me feel like im just a steping stool for what he wants and i feel hes stealing her away from me? He knows that i like her, but shit i dont know. He is all over her, i try to get into closeto her to chat with her about something and matt some how cuts between us, he flirts with her constantly and ooglaing over her. Nothing i have ever seen with him and aleina, and its just grossing me out. when i had to go to work they went to play mini golf, go carts, and when i chat with them i get insulted. I dont know, i get the vibe and according to amy she is going after matt. does he know shes 17 when her body and aditude says shes isnt? and what about the fall? dude your leaving in like a month and a half, what the fuck are you doing? Matt what are you doing to yourself and what are you doing to me? Gawd i love matt to death, hes my best frined but i cant seem to find th balls to tell him how i feel. why is this so hard? Errr..My biggest concer is whats going to happen to matt in fairbanks, without aleina or matt looking out for him and being there for him? No friends, what kind of life will he have, and how far down is he going to slip?
aleina i think you where right, matt is not the man i thought he was. I think out of all the males i know there is only one other with the same kind of values that i have and i need to reconfirm about what his values are again because hes starting to slip as well. My old fashoned values are no longer in matt or if they are still there they are no longer working. Im starting to feel like im a dead weight like i was in meaghens room, and i feel like im getting phased out, again, and again. how do i let this happen? why am i so pure and my friends arnt? ive been phased out by everyone except aleina it feels like. Im not saying everyone eles has more important things to do then worry or concern about me, but i feel i get left out of things and i dont get invited to do things becuae of what i am. I wont do drugs and im not into heavy drinking. I feel like a babysitter and i feel like im telling everyone to behave. (these last statements exclude the uaa gang i hang out with, they tell me to behave ;P, im the funny man there in that group and we have a great relationship)
whats going on with me? why am i drifting away from my frineds? why am i a good person? why is my inner child telling me to stay safe and fallow my heart and morals? Fuck them, all that its getting me is heart ach and inner pain. Everyone who truly knows me says that i have the heart of a mormon... i find this hard to beleave with all the crap i talk about, but my first impression seems make me one. Im respectful and caring. gosh i feel like a pushover and people can get me to do what everythey want out of me, man this is crazy... I really beleave that this new age of punks, preps, goths, skaters, stoners, asians, we of the helpless romantics are surely very few and far between. We are dying....
@->--
naTe...