blow up and grow away. hah.
Last night I dreamt that one of my friends found my iPod. I could clearly picture how it looked: with its sleeve of plastic that attached to my workout armband and the cheap green and white headphones I bought at Target...all of the smudges on its reflective back. Oh dear, I know it seems a bit dramatic to recount the image of an inanimate object as if it once drew breath, but Addison was one of my best friends. Losing my fucking iPod has made me realize how awkward the buzz of my university can be, how uncomfortable I feel waiting for my professors to begin lectures, how lifeless my bubble of existence can feel without a tune to keep my feet moving through it. Addy was the sweetest Christmas presents I've ever gotten and a kind of link I had to the beautiful memories I have of 2009. Now I'll have to replace her (in a billion years when I come up with enough money), and begin to rebuild the thousands upon thousands of songs I enjoyed. So yeah, fml. I know life could be a lot worse, but this has definitely been a damper on the month of February, and its a fact that I constantly try to push to the back of my mind.
Ah, what else. I feel in between. I might be getting a job. I might be going to California this summer. I might be able to finally move on. I might be taking a shit on someone's picture of me. Blah blah blah.
I think lightyears ahead each new day. Oh its Monday? Well gimmie next Tuesday because I've already got it planned out! I am rushing through this semester as quickly as I possibly can. Something about the summer excites me so much. Aside from being able to rest my head (though this semester I haven't been using it much), I want to make changes to myself that will be made easier with some familiar territory. There are so many ghosts at home but up here I daydream about being in my old bed...
I know that three months at home will ready me for sophomore year. Bri and I found an affordable apartment and are giddy with room designs and Febreze options...ah, slow down Bails. That's a year away.
Ah, what else. I feel in between. I might be getting a job. I might be going to California this summer. I might be able to finally move on. I might be taking a shit on someone's picture of me. Blah blah blah.
I think lightyears ahead each new day. Oh its Monday? Well gimmie next Tuesday because I've already got it planned out! I am rushing through this semester as quickly as I possibly can. Something about the summer excites me so much. Aside from being able to rest my head (though this semester I haven't been using it much), I want to make changes to myself that will be made easier with some familiar territory. There are so many ghosts at home but up here I daydream about being in my old bed...
I know that three months at home will ready me for sophomore year. Bri and I found an affordable apartment and are giddy with room designs and Febreze options...ah, slow down Bails. That's a year away.