(no subject)
I did something to my back a week or so ago. I suspect, pathetically, that it's a repetitive motion injury from hanging and folding clothes at work, but that's immaterial. What that means is that martial arts have been out, which is especially irksome since I'm coming off a two-week long self imposed break to combat burn-out and I've been itching to armbar and choke bitches. The day after a practice of choking out/beating down Viet (whose trachea, incidentally, is hypothesized to be made of steel; kid never taps, I just beat on him for half an hour) in that state, I kept looking behind me to catch the guy focusing a welding torch on my shoulder blade, but alas Scott and I hypothesize it's just referred pain from my rotator cuff.
Since my preferred modes of exercise (weights, running, and fucking people up) are unavailable, I've taken to going on walks to make sure my muscles don't atrophy and my heart doesn't succumb to the fast food diet my budget and circumstances have made obligatory. Today, I decided to walk in the "natural area" on campus, a small wooded preserve set aside for kids to have sex and smoke weed unmolested (unless, of course, it's nonconsentual sex.) Towards the end of the walk, I found myself entering an area that my subconscious mind readily tagged as "the Congo," which appeared to be a fairly recent addition to the trails with the stumps of those dwarf palm things still fresh in the path. After proceeding a couple hundred yards into the Heart of Darkness, I perceived a din to my left. I had heard all kinds of rustling and chirping and such beforehand, but whatever was in the brush was ferociously knocking shit out of its way and... yes, I'd call it rampaging.
I know we've got foxes and cute little feral cats on campus, and further I'm no ecologist so I can't narrow the list of possibilities by geographical region, and further still we're behind a university so it's not too unreasonable to think some Sci Fi channel genetic experiment/abomination had escaped into the pseudo-wilderness behind UCF.
I stood and watched saplings and ferns get smashed askance with an odd and inappropriate calm. I bent over and picked up a thick, weighty stick. I assumed it to be a person doing some kind of work for the botany department because its movements suggested something more substantial than an armadillo or raccoon. Cocking my head to the side, I loudly asked, "what the fuck?" It probably was not the most efficacious means of discerning man from beast, as that's usually more of an interjection than a question, so I was not too surprised when no answer came. However, my guess began to lean toward the "feral monstrosity" side when it began to charge about in circles with inhuman speed through the brush, finally tearing off into the woods in the distance, where it began to wail, producing noises I can't readily identify, though I'd describe them as somewhere between a more organic version of a circular saw being applied to wood and screams of agony. Unmoved (I later decided this was a product of idiocy rather than bravery), I decided to go farther into the trail and "see if I could find it."
... ... ...
After about ten steps, I realized that was absurdly retarded and went home, wielding the weighty stick until I was a safe distance out of the woods.
So yeah, don't go in the natural area by yourself. I'd like to take a sort of expeditionary force back there and track the fucker down, but I'm sure the findings, if any, would be banal enough to ruin the fun.
Since my preferred modes of exercise (weights, running, and fucking people up) are unavailable, I've taken to going on walks to make sure my muscles don't atrophy and my heart doesn't succumb to the fast food diet my budget and circumstances have made obligatory. Today, I decided to walk in the "natural area" on campus, a small wooded preserve set aside for kids to have sex and smoke weed unmolested (unless, of course, it's nonconsentual sex.) Towards the end of the walk, I found myself entering an area that my subconscious mind readily tagged as "the Congo," which appeared to be a fairly recent addition to the trails with the stumps of those dwarf palm things still fresh in the path. After proceeding a couple hundred yards into the Heart of Darkness, I perceived a din to my left. I had heard all kinds of rustling and chirping and such beforehand, but whatever was in the brush was ferociously knocking shit out of its way and... yes, I'd call it rampaging.
I know we've got foxes and cute little feral cats on campus, and further I'm no ecologist so I can't narrow the list of possibilities by geographical region, and further still we're behind a university so it's not too unreasonable to think some Sci Fi channel genetic experiment/abomination had escaped into the pseudo-wilderness behind UCF.
I stood and watched saplings and ferns get smashed askance with an odd and inappropriate calm. I bent over and picked up a thick, weighty stick. I assumed it to be a person doing some kind of work for the botany department because its movements suggested something more substantial than an armadillo or raccoon. Cocking my head to the side, I loudly asked, "what the fuck?" It probably was not the most efficacious means of discerning man from beast, as that's usually more of an interjection than a question, so I was not too surprised when no answer came. However, my guess began to lean toward the "feral monstrosity" side when it began to charge about in circles with inhuman speed through the brush, finally tearing off into the woods in the distance, where it began to wail, producing noises I can't readily identify, though I'd describe them as somewhere between a more organic version of a circular saw being applied to wood and screams of agony. Unmoved (I later decided this was a product of idiocy rather than bravery), I decided to go farther into the trail and "see if I could find it."
... ... ...
After about ten steps, I realized that was absurdly retarded and went home, wielding the weighty stick until I was a safe distance out of the woods.
So yeah, don't go in the natural area by yourself. I'd like to take a sort of expeditionary force back there and track the fucker down, but I'm sure the findings, if any, would be banal enough to ruin the fun.