Focus like Lights
Today we worked with emotional memory after we did warmups. We were in a situation similar to the meditation exercise where we had to lie down and concentrate. We had to think of a time of anticipation/excitement first. I thought of Christmas Eve when I was very young. I was really excited by Christmas back then, even to where I couldn't sleep. I was also very worried about getting to bed before midnight in case santa wouldnt come. i have gotten bitter over the years to where i hate christmas now because of how disrespectful it has become to its purpose. thats another issue. i could think of all the feelings and sensations around me in those christmases long ago. i wasnt drifting to sleep that i had noticed, but i dont remember what happened next. i remember liz saying "your next emotion is" and then i remember "sigh it all out, just breath in and sigh it out" and i was panting really hard. I later found out that it was fear. Im not sure if i fell asleep really because i woke up way too easily and stressed out. i think i may have blacked out the memory and all associated with it. we went next to laying on the grass to sleep on a warm, sunny day. i went to the last week of classes last semester where i would nap daily in barksdale. nothing can beat that. not just napping, but barksdale in the warm sun. back when i didnt have to wear shoes.
i wear shoes now most of the time because it is cold, but few things make me happier in life than walking on old campus barefoot. i think i actually did feel warmed by the sun in my emotional memory. i thought of all the spots i slept on the field and when people played frisbee over me and the time they mowed around me. at least i didnt die. rehearsal has been fine. i am stil really busy. i managed to get in time last night to do the painting for the show that Martha owns and listen to cat stevens. brandon really doesnt know anything about pop culture. its okay because i dont know much in depth of anything but i know a little about everything. at least i hope so because otherwise ive been wasting my time. speaking of warmth, i miss my mom's car. i really do. and my cat. but i always miss my cat more than anyone can imagine. maybe i will have him here over the summer.
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i wear shoes now most of the time because it is cold, but few things make me happier in life than walking on old campus barefoot. i think i actually did feel warmed by the sun in my emotional memory. i thought of all the spots i slept on the field and when people played frisbee over me and the time they mowed around me. at least i didnt die. rehearsal has been fine. i am stil really busy. i managed to get in time last night to do the painting for the show that Martha owns and listen to cat stevens. brandon really doesnt know anything about pop culture. its okay because i dont know much in depth of anything but i know a little about everything. at least i hope so because otherwise ive been wasting my time. speaking of warmth, i miss my mom's car. i really do. and my cat. but i always miss my cat more than anyone can imagine. maybe i will have him here over the summer.
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