The Very Grumpy Day
Today Chris and I had 2 fights. I was so frustrated and grumpy, I totally took it out on him. There was something about... ffs, I don't even know. I was just grumpy. The kind that leads to crying because I was so grumpy at being grumpy and not wanting to be grumpy. I had a drooly sort of sleep.
Later on I got all cry grumpy again because he walked out of the room and couldn't hear me call him because he had music on while I wanted to know what he wanted to watch on tv.
I can't even remember what's happening day to day. Maybe it's just because I'm so tired. I think we ate ham sandwiches with chips in the family room with bunny out. I ate half mine and took a break, but it was really good. Oh yeah, I was getting drowsy after Doctor Who and Chris put Arrested Development on, which didn't help with the sleepiness. I was so tired after I knew I couldn't watch another show, so argument. I said I would nap but he thought I wanted to do something. I really needed that nap, but it was so hard to wake up from.
I've done a bit of crying today. Before I fell asleep, when I got made at Chris for not hearing me, when we talk about that, when I saw a sad DW post. Ugh, I can't not cry today.
I get that anti-depressants are good for not feeling sad and not crying and all that, but if I'm getting all these side-effects I really am not looking forward to adding a few more on top. I talked to Chris about it today so I know he's going to be helpful when I start the Prozac. But there is part of me that worries he'll get frustrated with me and give up.
I guess the Klonopin hasn't been too bad, I'm not totally manic or suicidal, but I'm still worried about what the Prozac will do. And I don't know how to stop thinking about the mild queasiness and how I over-react. I mean maybe it'll be the same feeling I get when I over eat or whatever. But Chris was joking that if we go for a walk (something people said made them feel better) he's going to make me go fast. Which I get it was a joke, but I don't think I totally believe it.
I hate side-effects.
Later on I got all cry grumpy again because he walked out of the room and couldn't hear me call him because he had music on while I wanted to know what he wanted to watch on tv.
I can't even remember what's happening day to day. Maybe it's just because I'm so tired. I think we ate ham sandwiches with chips in the family room with bunny out. I ate half mine and took a break, but it was really good. Oh yeah, I was getting drowsy after Doctor Who and Chris put Arrested Development on, which didn't help with the sleepiness. I was so tired after I knew I couldn't watch another show, so argument. I said I would nap but he thought I wanted to do something. I really needed that nap, but it was so hard to wake up from.
I've done a bit of crying today. Before I fell asleep, when I got made at Chris for not hearing me, when we talk about that, when I saw a sad DW post. Ugh, I can't not cry today.
I get that anti-depressants are good for not feeling sad and not crying and all that, but if I'm getting all these side-effects I really am not looking forward to adding a few more on top. I talked to Chris about it today so I know he's going to be helpful when I start the Prozac. But there is part of me that worries he'll get frustrated with me and give up.
I guess the Klonopin hasn't been too bad, I'm not totally manic or suicidal, but I'm still worried about what the Prozac will do. And I don't know how to stop thinking about the mild queasiness and how I over-react. I mean maybe it'll be the same feeling I get when I over eat or whatever. But Chris was joking that if we go for a walk (something people said made them feel better) he's going to make me go fast. Which I get it was a joke, but I don't think I totally believe it.
I hate side-effects.