Bedtime
I'm having a tough time with bedtime. While we were dog sitting, Chris and I went to bed at the same time every night. It was so nice laying in bed together falling asleep. When we got back to the house I managed to keep it up. For a while I thought maybe I had this sorted out.
Turns out not so much. It started out with one night, and the next I went to bed with him. I though "Easy peasy, I can be flexible." Then another night I stayed up because I had just eaten. But then I stayed up the next night. I haven't gone to bed with Chris since.
Some nights I have a good reason. Whether I've just eaten and I need to get through the blah digestion bit or I have heartburn I want to settle. But too many nights I'm just not "ready". I don't even know what it means. It's like I want time to be in "going to bed mode". I don't know why it doesn't happen with Chris up. Maybe I need to be better at enforcing the switch to the small light and taking care of bunny early so that's not hanging over me.
Or maybe I just want time by myself, which is strange considering how clingy I normally get during the day. Normally I want to be in the same room and often engaged in some way. At night though it's almost like I want a few hours alone. I even seem to stay up later then I need to and end up so tired that I barely get upstairs.
I don't know, but I need to start getting up earlier because it's fucking with me. And if don't start going to bed earlier, I'm never going to wake up on a schedule.
Turns out not so much. It started out with one night, and the next I went to bed with him. I though "Easy peasy, I can be flexible." Then another night I stayed up because I had just eaten. But then I stayed up the next night. I haven't gone to bed with Chris since.
Some nights I have a good reason. Whether I've just eaten and I need to get through the blah digestion bit or I have heartburn I want to settle. But too many nights I'm just not "ready". I don't even know what it means. It's like I want time to be in "going to bed mode". I don't know why it doesn't happen with Chris up. Maybe I need to be better at enforcing the switch to the small light and taking care of bunny early so that's not hanging over me.
Or maybe I just want time by myself, which is strange considering how clingy I normally get during the day. Normally I want to be in the same room and often engaged in some way. At night though it's almost like I want a few hours alone. I even seem to stay up later then I need to and end up so tired that I barely get upstairs.
I don't know, but I need to start getting up earlier because it's fucking with me. And if don't start going to bed earlier, I'm never going to wake up on a schedule.