Sleep issues... Again.
I start thinking sleep starts are finally gone and I don't have anything to worry about, then this new crap happens. I don't know how to describe, nor do I think LJ is a good place to do so. But it's wrong, very wrong, and I want it to stop. It was bothering me so much I was certain some wiccan had placed a curse on me or something.
I am definitely tired. I don't smoke *right* before bed. Instead of ever hitting REM sleep, I go into this psychodelic mode where I think of 500 different things in sets of three in rapid succession, usually something *REALLY* stupid romantic love-like, something that is a common task, and something that is unique to me and what I like to do.
I remember one part vividly.
Need to know: There was a girl I knew a few years back from college named Laurel (I think). Anyway, she was attractive, but I certainly didn't want a romantic relationship with her. There are also a couple girls I work with on a regular basis.
For those that don't read my journal or know me well enough to understand, there something things I need to explain; I simply am not interested in dating right now, and probably will never be. For once in my life, I have everything I've ever wanted (No, I never wanted a house), and it's all *mine*. I don't intend to share a GD thing with anyone.
So here's the example: Laurel is there and I'm kissing the back of her neck (corny romantic thing), I'm eating food (common task), and writing down prime numbers for a number theory test (unique to me). Cut to a girl from work that I barely know rubbing my shoulders (corny romantic thing), I'm driving to the grocery store (common task), and I'm playing counter-strike (unique to me) on the car windshield as I drive. And these things happen so quickly that once the senses register that I know what they are telling me, they switch, and they switch in these three categories.
So I am smelling and kissing the back of the neck of some random girl I thought I forgot about and eating a sandwich while writing, then my hand realizes I'm writing with a pencil and suddenly it's now a computer mouse and I'm kissing her neck and then since I now know who it is, it switches as food turns into steering wheel and my coworker rubs her face against my shoulder.
I can't put into words what it is, because it happens so fast, but I remember after this happened and I went downstairs and wrote this in an email to myself so I could write about it. It's so messed up and my brain is so active I cannot rest. I want it to stop. Maybe it's not always these three things, romantic, common, unique, but I'm absolutely positive that corny romantic stuff came up more often than not.
If you have any idea what is wrong, please let me know. As with the sleep starts, if I go to a neurologist, I'm just going to get no solution, or find out I know more about my issue than he does.
I am definitely tired. I don't smoke *right* before bed. Instead of ever hitting REM sleep, I go into this psychodelic mode where I think of 500 different things in sets of three in rapid succession, usually something *REALLY* stupid romantic love-like, something that is a common task, and something that is unique to me and what I like to do.
I remember one part vividly.
Need to know: There was a girl I knew a few years back from college named Laurel (I think). Anyway, she was attractive, but I certainly didn't want a romantic relationship with her. There are also a couple girls I work with on a regular basis.
For those that don't read my journal or know me well enough to understand, there something things I need to explain; I simply am not interested in dating right now, and probably will never be. For once in my life, I have everything I've ever wanted (No, I never wanted a house), and it's all *mine*. I don't intend to share a GD thing with anyone.
So here's the example: Laurel is there and I'm kissing the back of her neck (corny romantic thing), I'm eating food (common task), and writing down prime numbers for a number theory test (unique to me). Cut to a girl from work that I barely know rubbing my shoulders (corny romantic thing), I'm driving to the grocery store (common task), and I'm playing counter-strike (unique to me) on the car windshield as I drive. And these things happen so quickly that once the senses register that I know what they are telling me, they switch, and they switch in these three categories.
So I am smelling and kissing the back of the neck of some random girl I thought I forgot about and eating a sandwich while writing, then my hand realizes I'm writing with a pencil and suddenly it's now a computer mouse and I'm kissing her neck and then since I now know who it is, it switches as food turns into steering wheel and my coworker rubs her face against my shoulder.
I can't put into words what it is, because it happens so fast, but I remember after this happened and I went downstairs and wrote this in an email to myself so I could write about it. It's so messed up and my brain is so active I cannot rest. I want it to stop. Maybe it's not always these three things, romantic, common, unique, but I'm absolutely positive that corny romantic stuff came up more often than not.
If you have any idea what is wrong, please let me know. As with the sleep starts, if I go to a neurologist, I'm just going to get no solution, or find out I know more about my issue than he does.