No need to worry, I love you more than you know.
And as I feel compelled to say almost any time I write a journal entry: Wow it's been a while since my last entry. That out of the way lets seeeeee...
As if I didn't already excitedly tell everyone this past month I took a great trip to Arizona. Drove A LOT. Saw a lot of dirt and cactus. It was really amazing, refreshing to get away and get a new perspective out of the every day life routine. I feel happy to have gone, met new friends and really appreciate the brotherhood we have.
The 80 some degree weather when we got there was awesome. Had a fun drive out to San Deigo California, that was only a 6 hour drive from Jeannine's house. I liked the city, but really wish i could just had spent a few more days laying on the beach lol, that's my kind of vacation. I was really nice to stay at Jeannine and Zach's. We are so comfortable with them that it felt like staying with our own family. Well they are family to us. I really miss them and the kids now. But we only see them like 2 months out of 12 when the come up for the summer every summer. Just wish we didn't live so far away. It feels very sad and listless to be home after being on the go here n' there out in Arizona so much. Like an adjustment now to try to get back into every day life.
Actually, I am going to be very busy the rest of December. I only have like 17 hours right now for December so I have a less than week and a half to get 53 more hours in service and that will keep me busy and on the go. Also my main focus and my goal is to make my life my ministry so I can improve and be a better person and the kind of sister in the congregation that Jehovah would be proud of. A lot to accomplish in that goal i know lol. Alas, I didn't go out yesterday though. It is really because I would have had no one to work with at all, and it was a cold rainy day that I would have needed group support. Thursdays are sad in the Olean, congregation because maybe 2-3 people go out at most now and then. On the other hands I will have lots of 8-10 hours days the next 10 days left in this month.
I did go out in service today and went till 3:30...and brrrrrrrr haha the wind and cold chilled me to the bone. After service I went straight home to change, then right out the door to Wellsville for an appointment I had with Sarah Babbitt. Then I got an overdue haircut, picked up Natalie for a coffee at the local artsy café and proceeded to have a nice relaxing visit chatting with Natalie over hot mochas. Afterward I grabbed a pizza on my way home and cuddled up with a one nice strong mixed drink to try to feel warm again…well the drink has worn off and all im left with is bitter cold feelings again lol…stupid drink. Regrettably it’s cold again despite me being buried under several blankets with my laptop on my lap right now. And I don’t know if its because of the combination of a large coffee and the a glass of alcohol mixed with pop…but I’m hopelessly awake right now! -_- oh the curse of being impulsive. If you only knew.
Oh saw my first snow fall of this winter! We had about 2 inches outside when I woke up this morning. It flurried a little throughout the day, and now its really snowing. In fact its blowing like CRAZY out right now. I LOVE IT. Not the cold part, but its dark and I’m awake all alone and the wind is making this beautiful eerie howling noise outside like its crying and it feels so oddly attractive to hear the wind blow. Its like musis coming from this cold harsh tempestuous dangerous wind; blowing with no regard for anything or anyone.
So I am thinking I look forward to it putting in as much service as I can this next week, it'll be so nice to be enveloped in service really makes me feel good. Also makes me see where I need to improve. Which is a llllotttttttttt haha. I need so work on sooo much. Always feel so full of error and unable to stop being so lol. I can't see *anything* good about me that the bad hasn't cancelled out making me worthless lol…its funny ‘cause its true. But that's just how I see myself, I know it's a common human error...probably why I absolutely love reading Paul’s words in Romans chapter 7:13-25. They are so relatable, every word is how I feel exactly. Especially at this very moment.
Well sleep is lost on me tonight, but no sense in typing aimless meaningless thoughts in my head that probably nobody is going to read; but it being therapeutically to get out anyway. *gasp* Deep breath...ah well I am relaxed now so mission accomplished.
G’night world, and remember… Tomorrow is FRESH with NO MISTAKES in it!!!! …Well no mistakes in it, yet.
As if I didn't already excitedly tell everyone this past month I took a great trip to Arizona. Drove A LOT. Saw a lot of dirt and cactus. It was really amazing, refreshing to get away and get a new perspective out of the every day life routine. I feel happy to have gone, met new friends and really appreciate the brotherhood we have.
The 80 some degree weather when we got there was awesome. Had a fun drive out to San Deigo California, that was only a 6 hour drive from Jeannine's house. I liked the city, but really wish i could just had spent a few more days laying on the beach lol, that's my kind of vacation. I was really nice to stay at Jeannine and Zach's. We are so comfortable with them that it felt like staying with our own family. Well they are family to us. I really miss them and the kids now. But we only see them like 2 months out of 12 when the come up for the summer every summer. Just wish we didn't live so far away. It feels very sad and listless to be home after being on the go here n' there out in Arizona so much. Like an adjustment now to try to get back into every day life.
Actually, I am going to be very busy the rest of December. I only have like 17 hours right now for December so I have a less than week and a half to get 53 more hours in service and that will keep me busy and on the go. Also my main focus and my goal is to make my life my ministry so I can improve and be a better person and the kind of sister in the congregation that Jehovah would be proud of. A lot to accomplish in that goal i know lol. Alas, I didn't go out yesterday though. It is really because I would have had no one to work with at all, and it was a cold rainy day that I would have needed group support. Thursdays are sad in the Olean, congregation because maybe 2-3 people go out at most now and then. On the other hands I will have lots of 8-10 hours days the next 10 days left in this month.
I did go out in service today and went till 3:30...and brrrrrrrr haha the wind and cold chilled me to the bone. After service I went straight home to change, then right out the door to Wellsville for an appointment I had with Sarah Babbitt. Then I got an overdue haircut, picked up Natalie for a coffee at the local artsy café and proceeded to have a nice relaxing visit chatting with Natalie over hot mochas. Afterward I grabbed a pizza on my way home and cuddled up with a one nice strong mixed drink to try to feel warm again…well the drink has worn off and all im left with is bitter cold feelings again lol…stupid drink. Regrettably it’s cold again despite me being buried under several blankets with my laptop on my lap right now. And I don’t know if its because of the combination of a large coffee and the a glass of alcohol mixed with pop…but I’m hopelessly awake right now! -_- oh the curse of being impulsive. If you only knew.
Oh saw my first snow fall of this winter! We had about 2 inches outside when I woke up this morning. It flurried a little throughout the day, and now its really snowing. In fact its blowing like CRAZY out right now. I LOVE IT. Not the cold part, but its dark and I’m awake all alone and the wind is making this beautiful eerie howling noise outside like its crying and it feels so oddly attractive to hear the wind blow. Its like musis coming from this cold harsh tempestuous dangerous wind; blowing with no regard for anything or anyone.
So I am thinking I look forward to it putting in as much service as I can this next week, it'll be so nice to be enveloped in service really makes me feel good. Also makes me see where I need to improve. Which is a llllotttttttttt haha. I need so work on sooo much. Always feel so full of error and unable to stop being so lol. I can't see *anything* good about me that the bad hasn't cancelled out making me worthless lol…its funny ‘cause its true. But that's just how I see myself, I know it's a common human error...probably why I absolutely love reading Paul’s words in Romans chapter 7:13-25. They are so relatable, every word is how I feel exactly. Especially at this very moment.
Well sleep is lost on me tonight, but no sense in typing aimless meaningless thoughts in my head that probably nobody is going to read; but it being therapeutically to get out anyway. *gasp* Deep breath...ah well I am relaxed now so mission accomplished.
G’night world, and remember… Tomorrow is FRESH with NO MISTAKES in it!!!! …Well no mistakes in it, yet.