Lost: Green World: Sawyer/Jack, Sawyer/Kate: NC-17
Fandom: Lost
Title: Green World
Summary: All Sawyer wanted to do was get a rise out of them.
Pairing: Sawyer/Jack, Sawyer/Kate
Rating: NC-17
Disclaimer: I don’t own Lost or any of it’s characters, sometimes I just like to make them do dirty, dirty things.
Notes: A big huge thank you to Fryadvocate for betaing this. Darling, you are fab.
Green World
1
The trees look too green sometimes--they almost hurt Sawyer’s eyes. Green everywhere in the jungle. Blinding and blurry; all the trees and grass and plants becoming one.
He closes his eyes when he feels too dizzy and overwhelmed from it all.
He sees Kate in green for some reason. Maybe that’s why he sometimes has the desire to close his eyes when he sees her.
*
The whole damn lot of them know that Kate and Jack have fucking chemistry, they just don’t know that he and Kate do as well. He felt it in her kiss--the desire, the want, the need. He felt her passion, but whether or not it was from desire or anger, he couldn’t tell. It hadn’t mattered to him, though; he had just needed to feel it.
They’re both outlaws, he told her as much. She knows. She sees it too.
Kate knows they have chemistry, so it shouldn’t matter to him if Charlie knows it, or if Shannon knows it, or if that fucking useless Boone knows it.
It really shouldn’t matter if Jack knows, but it does.
Sawyer wants to rub it in his face, wants him to know it and hate it and hate him. He likes the way Jack’s eyes look when he’s furious, because it’s all about the passion, and when Jack has it, he has it. Sawyer hates the cold, somewhat cranky Doc that they’re all usually treated to.
It’s up to Sawyer to get a rise out of him, but lately it’s become more and more of a challenge. Maybe he’s losing his touch, or maybe it’s like hot bath water; the more you stick your foot in, the less the water burns.
*
He wants the world to hate him the way he hates himself sometimes. Having a masochistic streak is something he’s learned to live with over the years.
“You make everyone hate you.” Kate says. “If you just tried to act a little more civil-”
“Why act civil when we ain’t no where near civilization, sweetheart?” His mouth curls up into a smirk.
She looks a little faraway when he says that, and Sawyer wonders if she’s remembering something from her past. The expression on her face bores him sometimes; it’s empty, hollow. He likes when she’s laughing or when she’s furious.
He hates when people are empty. What use are they to him when he can’t play with their emotions?
*
Jack makes him come to the caves to get his pills and get his bandages changed. Sawyer doesn’t want to admit it, but he doesn’t mind when Jack applies pressure to the wound or touches his arm.
He says things to push people away sometimes so he doesn’t have to feel. He makes a sarcastic remark to Jack and thinks this is probably one of those times.
*
“Can I ask you something?” Jack asks him as he hands him his pills.
“I don’t know, Doc, can you?”
“Why do you go around looking for trouble? You’re practically begging people to take a swing at you; if you’d just said you didn’t have Shannon’s inhaler we wouldn’t have-Sayid wouldn’t have.” He gestures at Sawyer’s arm and frowns.
“I guess I’m just a damn masochist now, ain’t I?” Sawyer grins, and pops the pills into his mouth without water. They taste chalky and bitter.
“Honestly, Sawyer, I don’t know what you are.”
Sawyer shrugs and Jack watches him as he leaves the cave.
*
In the morning he sees Kate heading off by herself, and he wonders how stupid can someone possibly be? After what happened to the pregnant girl, what is she thinking going off on her own? So he follows her and ends up getting a rock thrown at his knee, but at least he gets to go swimming in the end.
And that’s where they find the case. He knows Kate wants it, that’s the only reason he takes it.
*
He knows something happened, because he’s always had a careful eye on things. At least the things he’s interested in. He’s always had to. It’s key to the con to know what’s going on with everything, to read people’s expressions and hear the meaning behind their words.
He understands people, and that’s how he uses them, makes them do exactly what he wants them to do.
Something happened between Jack and Kate, Sawyer knows. He guesses it has something to do with the case, and he wishes he’d been there when they opened it, because Kate had wanted it pretty bad for someone who had no idea how to open it.
He waits till Jack is checking his arm to say, “You and Freckles don’t seem to be on such good terms.”
Jack flinches, “We’re not on any terms right now.”
Sawyer lets out a laugh, “Oh, well that’s a shocker, you and Freckles are usually so cozy and friendly.” He pauses, running his tongue across the back of his teeth, “Not to mention flirty.”
“Well, not right now.” Jack gives him a tight, dismissive smile.
“You opened the case, didn’t you?”
“Sawyer-”
“So, she played us both for fools, Doc.” Sawyer drawls, holding back a laugh, “How’s that make you feel?”
Jack tightens his grip on Sawyer’s arm and clenches his jaw. “Your arm’s doing much better; I think you should take your pills and go. You’ll be off them soon.”
“Thanks, but that don’t answer my question.”
Jack grits his teeth, “It doesn’t feel good, okay? Is that what you want to hear?”
“I told you, that girl, she’s a user. You wouldn’t understand a girl like her, Doc. You’re a hero, not a con.”
Sawyer isn’t completely sure what happens next, he sometimes decides things in his head too fast even for himself. One minute Jack’s just looking defeated, and Sawyer hates that look, because it wasn’t what he was going for when he said that. He was going for pissed off; he was looking for a fight. Jack isn’t supposed to throw in the towel this early.
One minute he’s looking in Jack’s eyes, and the next his hand is threaded in Jack’s hair and he’s crushing his lips against his.
Jack doesn’t pull away, and there’s a furious clash of teeth and tongue, and Sawyer thinks he wants to break Jack a little right now, the way he’s broken. Then maybe Jack will understand him a little.
With his good arm, Sawyer reaches his hands into Jack’s pants and fists his cock relentlessly, squeezing harder then necessary. His cock is thick and hard in Sawyer’s hands, and Jack is kissing him feverishly. He feels more than hears Jack groan appreciatively into his mouth. Jack backs Sawyer up and braces his hands on the wall, Sawyers head trapped between them.
Jack’s kisses become more frantic and Sawyer can feel him tense under his hand. Yeah, fucking let go. Come for me. Sawyer thinks, and listens as Jack pants when he comes, letting out a low groan. Sawyer removes his hand, his face still close to Jack’s he says, “Thanks, Doc.”
He’s aware of how hard he is, but he moves to leave.
“Do you want me to?” Jack asks, gesturing to, Sawyer assumes, his dick.
He’s going to say no; he’s going to leave and find a nice quiet place to jerk off, but then his shoulders are being gripped tightly, and he’s being shoved back into the wall of the cave. Jack must have a kink with cave walls because this is the second time he’s pushed Sawyer up against it tonight.
Sawyer’s senses are on overdrive. His raspy breath sounds loud in his ears, and he can smell Jack’s sweat and come on both their bodies.
Their faces are inches apart and Sawyer can feel Jack breathing deeply, like he’s just run for miles. “You don’t have to do this. I know you’re big on reciprocating and playing fair, but you don’t have to return the favor.”
“Believe me, I know.” Jack says, pausing for a second, his hands still on Sawyer’s zipper.
“Well then, by all means, continue.” Sawyer says exasperatedly, rolling his eyes. It’s about fucking time.
Jack tugs Sawyer’s pants and boxers down around his knees and goes down with them until he’s resting in front of Sawyer, hands gripping the back of Sawyer’s knees. He’s probably never done this before, Sawyer thinks, but then Jack sucks the head of Sawyer’s cock into his mouth and all thoughts are traded for heat and pleasure. Sawyer groans quietly to himself, his head rolling back to rest against the wall.
Jack’s using tongue and taking him deeper into his mouth, and Sawyer wants this to last longer than it’s going to. He looks down at Jack, and while that boy Boone would probably look a lot prettier doing this, Jack doesn’t look so bad himself.
He feels himself tighten inside the wet-warmth of Jack’s mouth, and he taps on Jack’s head because Sawyer can just imagine how pissed off Jack would be if he came right now inside his mouth. Doc don’t look like he’d be one to swallow.
Jack pulls away and Sawyer comes hard, spilling onto the ground as he leans back on the cave wall for support.
They clean up, and he and Jack barely look at each other as they do, save for one final look as Sawyer is leaving. And Sawyer finally believes the saying about pictures and words, because if a look can mean a million, then a picture could certainly mean a thousand.
*
He’s not sure if it was just a one time thing, or if Jack is going to want another go. It could go either way, but Sawyer’s not really sure since he’s never kissed a man before. He’s been jerked off, blown, hell, he’s even given his fair share of hand-jobs, but usually it was all about getting something in return. Usually part of the plan or part of the deal itself.
He doesn’t love Jack, not even close. But he kissed him, and that must mean something, kinda like the picture thing too.
What’s that other clichéd saying? Oh yeah, actions speak louder than words.
Jack means something, he’ll admit it, but he’s not sure why.
*
The first time he fucks Kate is in the jungle, green all around them.
“What?” He’d asked when she caught up to him as he had headed off, “Last time wasn’t enough for you? Or are you just in the mood for some more good ole’ boar hunting, seeing as how Locke and Metro ain’t bringing back any themselves.”
“I thought you could use the company.” She’d replied.
“Is it me who needs the company,” he had asked, “Or you?”
She had met his eyes, but didn’t answer him. He didn’t blame her; it had been a stupid question.
He’d turned and let her follow without saying a word.
They trudge through the jungle, now, clothing catching and skin being scraped on low, thin branches and thorns. They’ve been out for hours, but it’s hard to really measure time out here; Sawyer still isn’t good at matching the time to the sun, and the trees are dense here anyway, making it hard to see. Kate might know, but he doesn’t ask. The silence around them has been there for a while now and breaking it seems wrong.
He’s not sure what they’re heading towards; they’re probably just going in circles, but every now and then Kate pauses and stops to pick up seeds or fruit. She has a basket with her, and Sawyer thinks it’s just like her to have been prepared for anything even if they didn’t have a plan when they’d left.
By the time it’s started to get dark, Kate’s make-shift basket is filled with fruits and things that might be useful like seeds and a couple of rocks he supposes she’s brought just in case she feels the need to throw something at his knees. Sawyer figures she’s probably glad that something useful came out of this pointless walk.
He’s starting to think maybe she really has just come for his company and not to ask him something when she says, “Sawyer?”
“What?” He turns to fix her with a mildly interested look.
“Do me a favor.” She says, “You owe me.”
He laughs, “First tell me what the favor is.”
She kisses him hard at first, then gradually softens the kiss to open her mouth wider and angle her head to kiss him deeper. Even though he’s not sure why she’s suddenly decided that she doesn’t have to be trying to get something from him in order to kiss him, his tongue finds her mouth; he’s not going to miss this opportunity.
“I need you to do this for me, and I thought you probably wouldn’t have any problem with it.” She breathes, her words warm breath on his cheek. “No strings attached, nothing.”
“Why, Freckles.” He drawls, amused, “Abstinence not your thing?”
“No.” She says, seriously, looking up at him intently.
“I’d love to, but seeing as how I don’t have a condom-”
She reaches a hand into her pocket and flashes it at him. “Remember? Carte blanche, I can take whatever I want.” She grins impishly at him, and he shrugs, amused.
He’s never been one to say no to a lady. Actually, that’s a lie. He’s never been one to say no to sex with a pretty lady when asked so nicely.
She kisses him again and Sawyer’s still a little bit in disbelief because she went from playing hard to get to wanting sex in the jungle right here, right now.
He pulls her shirt up over her head and lets his fingers skim her breasts. She arches her back and pushes further into his hands. He brushes his thumb against her nipple and she groans, throwing her head back, and Sawyer thinks, simply, that she is beautiful, but he’ll never love her.
Soon it will be dark and they’ll have to head back, so he’s going to savor this while he can.
He grins as she unbuttons his shirt, her eyes on his. She’s almost smirking, but not quite. He wonders how long she’s been craving this, been craving someone. He doesn’t wonder why she chose him over Jack, because that’s obvious. She knows that they’re the same, and he can fuck without thinking of her as his. He knows he’ll still have to chase her--that this doesn’t mean she’ll always take his side or move into his tent with him. Jake would think that. He’d think that Kate would suddenly move to the caves with him, hang on his every word. She wouldn’t. And Sawyer knows that Jack doesn’t understand things like that about her.
She doesn’t want to play Eve to his Adam. Unlike the real Eve, she’d knowingly eat the apple.
Kate is tight and wet went he enters her. He knows she’s wet for him and it makes him hot and hornier than he was when they first were on this island and he wasn’t getting any. He kisses her neck, biting and nipping as she wraps her legs around his waist and he presses her up against a nearby tree. She clenches around him, making herself tighter, and she’s making sounds in his ear and doing something with her tongue every now and then that’s driving him wild.
They don’t come together, but Sawyer figures it’s a good thing he made her come or else she’d probably never shut up about it.
2
The world has always been a little bit broken in Sawyer’s eyes. A little bit fucked up. It makes him wonder how a man can exist in this world and not be a little fucked up. Maybe the people who perceive themselves as perfectly well-adjusted, normal people, are the ones who are really fucked up.
At least, that’s what he likes to believe.
If he were asked what the most unfair thing in the world was, in his opinion, he would say the world itself. And isn’t that beautiful? That nothing can possibly be fair if its very source, it’s origin, is completely unfair.
He watches Jack carefully, been watching him for days, like he’s transfixed or something, and he doesn’t understand how Jack can exist here on this island where everything is strange and chaotic, because Jack is the stability, the rock, that Sawyer has never known. And somehow he is hypnotized, but he can’t quite figure out why.
*
Kate catches him reading with Charlie and the baby one day. They’re sitting in the shade, close enough to where Michael and Jin are working on the raft for them to hear the two squabbling and arguing like a married couple, but far enough that the sound is faint.
He figured that Kate was the most likely to stumble upon him like this, because everyone knows that Kate’s the island busy-body. Always knows what’s going on with everyone.
She looks a little smug when she says, “You sure you want to leave your family behind?”
“Har har,” Sawyer rolls his eyes at her.
Charlie laughs, “The baby likes the sound of his voice. It’s bloody fantastic.”
“I’m sure,” Kate laughs, eyes sparkling. They don’t look as green today, so Sawyer doesn’t look away.
“I hate you,” Sawyer mumbles, but it’s halfhearted. This fucking place has softened him, and it’s driving him crazy. He’s being sucked into this island family of British has-beens and babies.
Kate laughs as she walks away, and Sawyer has this weird feeling that this is the last time he’s going to be seeing her which is crazy.
*
The last time he does see Kate, he tries to see if she wants him to stay. He says he has nothing to stay for.
She doesn’t respond.
*
He can feel the sweat pouring down his back. He’s tired, and if it were any other time he’d shrug and throw down the ax and screw it all, but he’s got something to prove now.
When Jack comes over to him, to say something that may be goodbye, Sawyer knows that he might not come back. And if they do find help, he may not get a chance to speak to Jack again. So he tells him.
When Jack kisses him he’s not prepared, but he’s not surprised.
It’s beautiful and strange. Something right in everything that’s wrong. That’s what Sawyer thinks.
*
Neither Jack nor Kate is there to say goodbye. It seems strangely appropriate, and Sawyer sails away feeling as though this is not the end, but something like it.
He looks back at the island, until all he can see is green.
~End
Title: Green World
Summary: All Sawyer wanted to do was get a rise out of them.
Pairing: Sawyer/Jack, Sawyer/Kate
Rating: NC-17
Disclaimer: I don’t own Lost or any of it’s characters, sometimes I just like to make them do dirty, dirty things.
Notes: A big huge thank you to Fryadvocate for betaing this. Darling, you are fab.
Green World
1
The trees look too green sometimes--they almost hurt Sawyer’s eyes. Green everywhere in the jungle. Blinding and blurry; all the trees and grass and plants becoming one.
He closes his eyes when he feels too dizzy and overwhelmed from it all.
He sees Kate in green for some reason. Maybe that’s why he sometimes has the desire to close his eyes when he sees her.
*
The whole damn lot of them know that Kate and Jack have fucking chemistry, they just don’t know that he and Kate do as well. He felt it in her kiss--the desire, the want, the need. He felt her passion, but whether or not it was from desire or anger, he couldn’t tell. It hadn’t mattered to him, though; he had just needed to feel it.
They’re both outlaws, he told her as much. She knows. She sees it too.
Kate knows they have chemistry, so it shouldn’t matter to him if Charlie knows it, or if Shannon knows it, or if that fucking useless Boone knows it.
It really shouldn’t matter if Jack knows, but it does.
Sawyer wants to rub it in his face, wants him to know it and hate it and hate him. He likes the way Jack’s eyes look when he’s furious, because it’s all about the passion, and when Jack has it, he has it. Sawyer hates the cold, somewhat cranky Doc that they’re all usually treated to.
It’s up to Sawyer to get a rise out of him, but lately it’s become more and more of a challenge. Maybe he’s losing his touch, or maybe it’s like hot bath water; the more you stick your foot in, the less the water burns.
*
He wants the world to hate him the way he hates himself sometimes. Having a masochistic streak is something he’s learned to live with over the years.
“You make everyone hate you.” Kate says. “If you just tried to act a little more civil-”
“Why act civil when we ain’t no where near civilization, sweetheart?” His mouth curls up into a smirk.
She looks a little faraway when he says that, and Sawyer wonders if she’s remembering something from her past. The expression on her face bores him sometimes; it’s empty, hollow. He likes when she’s laughing or when she’s furious.
He hates when people are empty. What use are they to him when he can’t play with their emotions?
*
Jack makes him come to the caves to get his pills and get his bandages changed. Sawyer doesn’t want to admit it, but he doesn’t mind when Jack applies pressure to the wound or touches his arm.
He says things to push people away sometimes so he doesn’t have to feel. He makes a sarcastic remark to Jack and thinks this is probably one of those times.
*
“Can I ask you something?” Jack asks him as he hands him his pills.
“I don’t know, Doc, can you?”
“Why do you go around looking for trouble? You’re practically begging people to take a swing at you; if you’d just said you didn’t have Shannon’s inhaler we wouldn’t have-Sayid wouldn’t have.” He gestures at Sawyer’s arm and frowns.
“I guess I’m just a damn masochist now, ain’t I?” Sawyer grins, and pops the pills into his mouth without water. They taste chalky and bitter.
“Honestly, Sawyer, I don’t know what you are.”
Sawyer shrugs and Jack watches him as he leaves the cave.
*
In the morning he sees Kate heading off by herself, and he wonders how stupid can someone possibly be? After what happened to the pregnant girl, what is she thinking going off on her own? So he follows her and ends up getting a rock thrown at his knee, but at least he gets to go swimming in the end.
And that’s where they find the case. He knows Kate wants it, that’s the only reason he takes it.
*
He knows something happened, because he’s always had a careful eye on things. At least the things he’s interested in. He’s always had to. It’s key to the con to know what’s going on with everything, to read people’s expressions and hear the meaning behind their words.
He understands people, and that’s how he uses them, makes them do exactly what he wants them to do.
Something happened between Jack and Kate, Sawyer knows. He guesses it has something to do with the case, and he wishes he’d been there when they opened it, because Kate had wanted it pretty bad for someone who had no idea how to open it.
He waits till Jack is checking his arm to say, “You and Freckles don’t seem to be on such good terms.”
Jack flinches, “We’re not on any terms right now.”
Sawyer lets out a laugh, “Oh, well that’s a shocker, you and Freckles are usually so cozy and friendly.” He pauses, running his tongue across the back of his teeth, “Not to mention flirty.”
“Well, not right now.” Jack gives him a tight, dismissive smile.
“You opened the case, didn’t you?”
“Sawyer-”
“So, she played us both for fools, Doc.” Sawyer drawls, holding back a laugh, “How’s that make you feel?”
Jack tightens his grip on Sawyer’s arm and clenches his jaw. “Your arm’s doing much better; I think you should take your pills and go. You’ll be off them soon.”
“Thanks, but that don’t answer my question.”
Jack grits his teeth, “It doesn’t feel good, okay? Is that what you want to hear?”
“I told you, that girl, she’s a user. You wouldn’t understand a girl like her, Doc. You’re a hero, not a con.”
Sawyer isn’t completely sure what happens next, he sometimes decides things in his head too fast even for himself. One minute Jack’s just looking defeated, and Sawyer hates that look, because it wasn’t what he was going for when he said that. He was going for pissed off; he was looking for a fight. Jack isn’t supposed to throw in the towel this early.
One minute he’s looking in Jack’s eyes, and the next his hand is threaded in Jack’s hair and he’s crushing his lips against his.
Jack doesn’t pull away, and there’s a furious clash of teeth and tongue, and Sawyer thinks he wants to break Jack a little right now, the way he’s broken. Then maybe Jack will understand him a little.
With his good arm, Sawyer reaches his hands into Jack’s pants and fists his cock relentlessly, squeezing harder then necessary. His cock is thick and hard in Sawyer’s hands, and Jack is kissing him feverishly. He feels more than hears Jack groan appreciatively into his mouth. Jack backs Sawyer up and braces his hands on the wall, Sawyers head trapped between them.
Jack’s kisses become more frantic and Sawyer can feel him tense under his hand. Yeah, fucking let go. Come for me. Sawyer thinks, and listens as Jack pants when he comes, letting out a low groan. Sawyer removes his hand, his face still close to Jack’s he says, “Thanks, Doc.”
He’s aware of how hard he is, but he moves to leave.
“Do you want me to?” Jack asks, gesturing to, Sawyer assumes, his dick.
He’s going to say no; he’s going to leave and find a nice quiet place to jerk off, but then his shoulders are being gripped tightly, and he’s being shoved back into the wall of the cave. Jack must have a kink with cave walls because this is the second time he’s pushed Sawyer up against it tonight.
Sawyer’s senses are on overdrive. His raspy breath sounds loud in his ears, and he can smell Jack’s sweat and come on both their bodies.
Their faces are inches apart and Sawyer can feel Jack breathing deeply, like he’s just run for miles. “You don’t have to do this. I know you’re big on reciprocating and playing fair, but you don’t have to return the favor.”
“Believe me, I know.” Jack says, pausing for a second, his hands still on Sawyer’s zipper.
“Well then, by all means, continue.” Sawyer says exasperatedly, rolling his eyes. It’s about fucking time.
Jack tugs Sawyer’s pants and boxers down around his knees and goes down with them until he’s resting in front of Sawyer, hands gripping the back of Sawyer’s knees. He’s probably never done this before, Sawyer thinks, but then Jack sucks the head of Sawyer’s cock into his mouth and all thoughts are traded for heat and pleasure. Sawyer groans quietly to himself, his head rolling back to rest against the wall.
Jack’s using tongue and taking him deeper into his mouth, and Sawyer wants this to last longer than it’s going to. He looks down at Jack, and while that boy Boone would probably look a lot prettier doing this, Jack doesn’t look so bad himself.
He feels himself tighten inside the wet-warmth of Jack’s mouth, and he taps on Jack’s head because Sawyer can just imagine how pissed off Jack would be if he came right now inside his mouth. Doc don’t look like he’d be one to swallow.
Jack pulls away and Sawyer comes hard, spilling onto the ground as he leans back on the cave wall for support.
They clean up, and he and Jack barely look at each other as they do, save for one final look as Sawyer is leaving. And Sawyer finally believes the saying about pictures and words, because if a look can mean a million, then a picture could certainly mean a thousand.
*
He’s not sure if it was just a one time thing, or if Jack is going to want another go. It could go either way, but Sawyer’s not really sure since he’s never kissed a man before. He’s been jerked off, blown, hell, he’s even given his fair share of hand-jobs, but usually it was all about getting something in return. Usually part of the plan or part of the deal itself.
He doesn’t love Jack, not even close. But he kissed him, and that must mean something, kinda like the picture thing too.
What’s that other clichéd saying? Oh yeah, actions speak louder than words.
Jack means something, he’ll admit it, but he’s not sure why.
*
The first time he fucks Kate is in the jungle, green all around them.
“What?” He’d asked when she caught up to him as he had headed off, “Last time wasn’t enough for you? Or are you just in the mood for some more good ole’ boar hunting, seeing as how Locke and Metro ain’t bringing back any themselves.”
“I thought you could use the company.” She’d replied.
“Is it me who needs the company,” he had asked, “Or you?”
She had met his eyes, but didn’t answer him. He didn’t blame her; it had been a stupid question.
He’d turned and let her follow without saying a word.
They trudge through the jungle, now, clothing catching and skin being scraped on low, thin branches and thorns. They’ve been out for hours, but it’s hard to really measure time out here; Sawyer still isn’t good at matching the time to the sun, and the trees are dense here anyway, making it hard to see. Kate might know, but he doesn’t ask. The silence around them has been there for a while now and breaking it seems wrong.
He’s not sure what they’re heading towards; they’re probably just going in circles, but every now and then Kate pauses and stops to pick up seeds or fruit. She has a basket with her, and Sawyer thinks it’s just like her to have been prepared for anything even if they didn’t have a plan when they’d left.
By the time it’s started to get dark, Kate’s make-shift basket is filled with fruits and things that might be useful like seeds and a couple of rocks he supposes she’s brought just in case she feels the need to throw something at his knees. Sawyer figures she’s probably glad that something useful came out of this pointless walk.
He’s starting to think maybe she really has just come for his company and not to ask him something when she says, “Sawyer?”
“What?” He turns to fix her with a mildly interested look.
“Do me a favor.” She says, “You owe me.”
He laughs, “First tell me what the favor is.”
She kisses him hard at first, then gradually softens the kiss to open her mouth wider and angle her head to kiss him deeper. Even though he’s not sure why she’s suddenly decided that she doesn’t have to be trying to get something from him in order to kiss him, his tongue finds her mouth; he’s not going to miss this opportunity.
“I need you to do this for me, and I thought you probably wouldn’t have any problem with it.” She breathes, her words warm breath on his cheek. “No strings attached, nothing.”
“Why, Freckles.” He drawls, amused, “Abstinence not your thing?”
“No.” She says, seriously, looking up at him intently.
“I’d love to, but seeing as how I don’t have a condom-”
She reaches a hand into her pocket and flashes it at him. “Remember? Carte blanche, I can take whatever I want.” She grins impishly at him, and he shrugs, amused.
He’s never been one to say no to a lady. Actually, that’s a lie. He’s never been one to say no to sex with a pretty lady when asked so nicely.
She kisses him again and Sawyer’s still a little bit in disbelief because she went from playing hard to get to wanting sex in the jungle right here, right now.
He pulls her shirt up over her head and lets his fingers skim her breasts. She arches her back and pushes further into his hands. He brushes his thumb against her nipple and she groans, throwing her head back, and Sawyer thinks, simply, that she is beautiful, but he’ll never love her.
Soon it will be dark and they’ll have to head back, so he’s going to savor this while he can.
He grins as she unbuttons his shirt, her eyes on his. She’s almost smirking, but not quite. He wonders how long she’s been craving this, been craving someone. He doesn’t wonder why she chose him over Jack, because that’s obvious. She knows that they’re the same, and he can fuck without thinking of her as his. He knows he’ll still have to chase her--that this doesn’t mean she’ll always take his side or move into his tent with him. Jake would think that. He’d think that Kate would suddenly move to the caves with him, hang on his every word. She wouldn’t. And Sawyer knows that Jack doesn’t understand things like that about her.
She doesn’t want to play Eve to his Adam. Unlike the real Eve, she’d knowingly eat the apple.
Kate is tight and wet went he enters her. He knows she’s wet for him and it makes him hot and hornier than he was when they first were on this island and he wasn’t getting any. He kisses her neck, biting and nipping as she wraps her legs around his waist and he presses her up against a nearby tree. She clenches around him, making herself tighter, and she’s making sounds in his ear and doing something with her tongue every now and then that’s driving him wild.
They don’t come together, but Sawyer figures it’s a good thing he made her come or else she’d probably never shut up about it.
2
The world has always been a little bit broken in Sawyer’s eyes. A little bit fucked up. It makes him wonder how a man can exist in this world and not be a little fucked up. Maybe the people who perceive themselves as perfectly well-adjusted, normal people, are the ones who are really fucked up.
At least, that’s what he likes to believe.
If he were asked what the most unfair thing in the world was, in his opinion, he would say the world itself. And isn’t that beautiful? That nothing can possibly be fair if its very source, it’s origin, is completely unfair.
He watches Jack carefully, been watching him for days, like he’s transfixed or something, and he doesn’t understand how Jack can exist here on this island where everything is strange and chaotic, because Jack is the stability, the rock, that Sawyer has never known. And somehow he is hypnotized, but he can’t quite figure out why.
*
Kate catches him reading with Charlie and the baby one day. They’re sitting in the shade, close enough to where Michael and Jin are working on the raft for them to hear the two squabbling and arguing like a married couple, but far enough that the sound is faint.
He figured that Kate was the most likely to stumble upon him like this, because everyone knows that Kate’s the island busy-body. Always knows what’s going on with everyone.
She looks a little smug when she says, “You sure you want to leave your family behind?”
“Har har,” Sawyer rolls his eyes at her.
Charlie laughs, “The baby likes the sound of his voice. It’s bloody fantastic.”
“I’m sure,” Kate laughs, eyes sparkling. They don’t look as green today, so Sawyer doesn’t look away.
“I hate you,” Sawyer mumbles, but it’s halfhearted. This fucking place has softened him, and it’s driving him crazy. He’s being sucked into this island family of British has-beens and babies.
Kate laughs as she walks away, and Sawyer has this weird feeling that this is the last time he’s going to be seeing her which is crazy.
*
The last time he does see Kate, he tries to see if she wants him to stay. He says he has nothing to stay for.
She doesn’t respond.
*
He can feel the sweat pouring down his back. He’s tired, and if it were any other time he’d shrug and throw down the ax and screw it all, but he’s got something to prove now.
When Jack comes over to him, to say something that may be goodbye, Sawyer knows that he might not come back. And if they do find help, he may not get a chance to speak to Jack again. So he tells him.
When Jack kisses him he’s not prepared, but he’s not surprised.
It’s beautiful and strange. Something right in everything that’s wrong. That’s what Sawyer thinks.
*
Neither Jack nor Kate is there to say goodbye. It seems strangely appropriate, and Sawyer sails away feeling as though this is not the end, but something like it.
He looks back at the island, until all he can see is green.
~End