bubblegum tylenol can’t fix this one
beads of sweat shook me awake.
i must have mistaken you for the phantom in my dream, mom.
i search for solace in the sheets until i weep.
the words you fed me came up again.
and swallowing won’t keep them down.
i begged for last advice from you.
it’s not easy to let go when i’m desperate for something to hold on to.
i called him and begged him through tears to see you one last time,
he was late.
///
the paintings on the wall stared back at me.
the flood of reminders to extend patience to you washed through me and i begged for forgiveness.
like the snot nosed child i once was.
i can finally remember you’re just a room over.
you’re not fading into the night, the night’s asking to shield you.
///
before i forget, i’ll ask you to come say goodnight.
and don’t you ever die.