Here it is
Oh how time can change things
trees and animals and the faces of the land
but moreso
how have you changed
and how have I?
when nearly a year ago
my dreams were shared with you
now they are being realized
by someone who took my place.
we parted ways
as spring days grew
into summer's heat.
maybe i left those dreams on your bed,
somewhere between the blankets
and the pillows i slept on.
she must've found them there
cool against her bare skin,
discovering them underneath her back
when you left the room.
she must've secreted them away,
into the womb where they
grew and lived and were.
i wonder how you could've been so
hypocritical,
and the bitterness in me cries out,
"What about the dream we shared?"
we cried and you begged and borrowed;
i swallowed the thieving pills,
first in the light of a quiet morning resteraunt,
then in the loneliness of my bedroom,
without you there to see.
no dream lived within me that summer,
nothing living and growing and so violently there
as she took from you, only to give back so many months later.
you made sure of that,
because your God told you that
I (and any child of mine)
wasn't worth it.
i wonder who you were praying to
that could tell you such things,
and where they were
when she told you that she was late.
my regret lies only in that
our voices will never again grace the same room
with conversation.
never will i regret the decisions we made,
punch-drunk from the blows landed to our hearts.
my children will never know the pain
that accompanies being called a mistake.