Lost and found?

[sexytarawitch]

I can’t believe it, I can’t believe I’ve been to this town for two weeks and I lose my wallet. One the one and only night I go out no less. I noticed it was gone when I got to the hotel and had to pay the cab driver. I felt like an idiot looking for it. Thankfully I had some cash in my skirt pocket or I would have really been in trouble. I had

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[sexytarawitch]

"Maybe. Thing is what are they trying to say?" I can't help but grin when he does. I tuck my hair behind my ear and gasp. "Oh my. He smiles!"

Before he could say anything back the woman comes back with our drinks. "These are so good." I take mine and take a few sips. Much better then The Expresso Pump.

A deep breath...and baby steps...

I set my cup down on the side table and look over at him. "Penny for your thoughts?" At this point I wanted to know. I'd worry about the repercussions of his eventual closing up later. Right now I'd take whatever peak I could get.

[theurbancowboy]

"I don't know if you want to know what I'm thinking right now. I don't even know what I'm thinking.

I sighed and took a sip of my coffee.

[sexytarawitch]

I'm in a bit of a better mood, don't know why. I reach into my pocket and pull out a dollar. "Ok then lawyer boy. How 'bout a dollar for your thoughts." I tilted my hand towards him with the bill in my hand.

I take a sip of the coffee and tilt my head at him. Come on Lindsey. Don't clam up on me now. Not just when I've gotten curious.

Then again we know what happened to the cat...

[theurbancowboy]

"Keep your dollar." I sighed.

"I started out in life pretty easily. I had talent, and I'm not being cocky, I did really well in law school and when W&H came to me, I didn't know what I was getting into. I sold my soul, and I regret it everyday of my life. I do things that keep me from sleeping at night and I don't even know who I am anymore."

I sighed. "If I had a choice I'd leave. But when I'm on the job, it's not about being the evilest person in the firm. I don't want to be evil. It's a survival thing. Right now I have my soul, but they could take it away at any time."

[sexytarawitch]

I put the dollar onto the table and listened as he spoke. No wonder he never smiled. He was so lost, that was the look in his eyes that I saw. Kind of like a lost little boy.

I sat silently for a moment, chewing my bottom lip, taking it all it. That was a lot to handle and to deal with. I set my cup down and look over at him. "Sometimes you have to do the hardest things in life just to have life." I spoke softly, knowing exactly how hard it was. "But if you don't enjoy life, or even part of it then it's all for nothing, the hard work, the pain. All of it doesn't matter if you waste yourself..."

[theurbancowboy]

I looked at her and took a ship of my coffee.

"What if there's no way out? No way to turn it around, I've exhausted every avenue, Angel sure as hell wouldn't be willing to help me, and these contracts are Air tight Tara."

I turned my head and looked through the tall class windows.

[sexytarawitch]

I sat silently and contemplated what he said. "There is always a way out Lindsey." I finally said, speaking the words carefully. "If there is a way in, there's a way out."

I turned and looked at what he was staring at before I turned to look at him. "What I meant before by enjoying what you can is sometimes while looking for the way out you need to find and enjoy the small things that keep you wanting that way out."

Tucking my hair behind my ear I sighed and looked down, unsure of why I said what I did, why for some reason him getting out was so important or why I suddenly care.

[theurbancowboy]

"Why do you even care? It's not like ..." I sighed.

"Nevermind."

I looked down at my hands wondering why I was here, this woman got under my skin in ways I both liked and didn't like.

"What is there to enjoy? The only thing I do enjoy is sticking it to Angel, and even that doesn't bring me any joy, it just passes the time."

[sexytarawitch]

"I don't know..." I honestly didn't. I wanted to know why, part of me kept hoping it would come to me why. But right now I had no answers.

I shook my head. "That's not enjoying. That's living, working and going through the motions." I fiddled with a napkin in my lap before I looked up at him. "You need to find little things to enjoy. A song, a CD." I smiled a little. "You seem to enjoy your guitar..." I bit the inside of my cheek slightly realizing I was babbling and most likely getting on his nerves.

[theurbancowboy]

"I do. It's probably the only thing I have in my life that's just mine. It's not tainted by them or what they stand for."

I sighed and looked into the cup of dark liquid. Sitting there in my armani suit talking about my guitar, I felt like there wasn't anything I deserved anyway.

"Look I should probably go."

[sexytarawitch]

I watch as he stands and I stand after a moment, I go to say something but the words just don't want to come out. I sigh and tuck my hair away from my face. "Yeah. I think I should too."

There's a voice in the back of my mind that's screaming, but I ignore it and what it's saying.

"Goodnight Lindsey." I say softly, it's odd but it seems as if 'goodnight' felt like I was saying 'good-bye'. This afternoon I wouldn't have cared, now...I'm not so sure.

I pull out my wallet and put money down for our drinks. I look back up at him and I start to say something, I changed my mind and gave him a small smile. "Thank you..." For tonight. "for bringing me my wallet." I nod and head towards the door.