Okay, so..
After the fiasco of my mother's brain operations, where every time I posted the date it became jinxed and thus postponed, I deliberately neglected to post about my father's recent health problems. Long story short, they found a cyst on one of his kidneys during a full-body scan they were using to prepare for a double procedure: an epidural scheduled for this afternoon to relieve the pain of the degenerative arthritis in the small of his back and an operation next Monday during which they plan to fuse C1-3 completely, putting him off his arse for at least six weeks.
Today something went wrong during the procedure. Nothing horrible, mind, but the VA admitted him into CCU for further testing, especially in light of the surgery scheduled for Monday. His blood pressure skyrocketed, his pulse plummeted, and he developed an abnormal beat that's persisted since about two this afternoon. I came home from work to have my neighbour tell me to rush down to the hospital. When I got there, my mother packed our houseguest into my Jeep and essentially told me to shove off. When I asked if I could see him first, she told me no, they only let her into the room. Odd. He's in CCU, not ICU, and even then immediate family is allowed in to see the patient, albeit usually under controlled circumstances.
This apparently upset our guest immensely. She had the grace to tell me later that she'd been allowed in to see my father, and that my mother's been complaining a lot about how I hog all his time, etc. Uh, I work twelve hour shifts, I'm a daddy's girl, and he's saddled with her all day. Pardon me for wanting to take him to Home Depot or something. But whatever. Further upsetting my adopted aunt is the way my mother snaps at me and acts as if I do jack shit for her. Apparently the night before last, when she was feeling ill and I took her something cold to drink, she came down later and told my aunt that it was the first time I'd ever done anything like that. Exit reality.
My mother's been pissier than usual lately, and I put that down to her being stressed out about my father's illness. He takes care of her, spoils her rotten beyond reason, and now she's caught between being freaked out about the roles maybe being reversed and not being waited upon hand and foot. See, I set rules. I'll cook three meals a day, clean, do laundry, take her shopping, etc., but I will not do everything my father does for her. While she acts like he can do no wrong in my eyes, the truth is he's always on her side, no matter how right I am or wrong she is. I think that's wrong, but she's his wife, and I don't understand the dynamics of bonded love in the least. Maybe I'd do the same thing.
I'll tell you what, though. My mother's little antics have blinded her to two very realistic truths. The immediate one is that for six weeks, she'll be completely dependent on me, the way it's always been when my dad's not around, and I could choose to make her life a living hell. The worst case scenario is something much more serious happens to my father and she allowed her petty bullshit of favouritism prevent me from seeing him one last time or she side-blinds my ability to care for or grief for him. On the whole I tend to pick my battles and pass over most of them. However, in rare cases, I have simply hacked a relationship into itty bitty pieces and left it for dead. She's not exempt. The truth is he is my favourite.
Edit: So, apparently my dad needs a pacemaker sometime this week. The problem may or may not resolve itself -- they're concerned because he's never exhibited any cardiac symptoms before -- but they say he won't survive the second procedure if they don't take precautions. My mother came home to tell us the news complete with snippy attitude, nasty expressions and dismissive gestures. However, in a strange way I'm kind of glad that I'm not the only one who sees this. My mother's sweeter than candy to everyone else and my dad has blinders on, so having someone give me patient and sympathizing looks while my mother sucks her teeth and rolls her eyes lets me know I'm not suffering from the residual effects of post-teenage angst.
Today something went wrong during the procedure. Nothing horrible, mind, but the VA admitted him into CCU for further testing, especially in light of the surgery scheduled for Monday. His blood pressure skyrocketed, his pulse plummeted, and he developed an abnormal beat that's persisted since about two this afternoon. I came home from work to have my neighbour tell me to rush down to the hospital. When I got there, my mother packed our houseguest into my Jeep and essentially told me to shove off. When I asked if I could see him first, she told me no, they only let her into the room. Odd. He's in CCU, not ICU, and even then immediate family is allowed in to see the patient, albeit usually under controlled circumstances.
This apparently upset our guest immensely. She had the grace to tell me later that she'd been allowed in to see my father, and that my mother's been complaining a lot about how I hog all his time, etc. Uh, I work twelve hour shifts, I'm a daddy's girl, and he's saddled with her all day. Pardon me for wanting to take him to Home Depot or something. But whatever. Further upsetting my adopted aunt is the way my mother snaps at me and acts as if I do jack shit for her. Apparently the night before last, when she was feeling ill and I took her something cold to drink, she came down later and told my aunt that it was the first time I'd ever done anything like that. Exit reality.
My mother's been pissier than usual lately, and I put that down to her being stressed out about my father's illness. He takes care of her, spoils her rotten beyond reason, and now she's caught between being freaked out about the roles maybe being reversed and not being waited upon hand and foot. See, I set rules. I'll cook three meals a day, clean, do laundry, take her shopping, etc., but I will not do everything my father does for her. While she acts like he can do no wrong in my eyes, the truth is he's always on her side, no matter how right I am or wrong she is. I think that's wrong, but she's his wife, and I don't understand the dynamics of bonded love in the least. Maybe I'd do the same thing.
I'll tell you what, though. My mother's little antics have blinded her to two very realistic truths. The immediate one is that for six weeks, she'll be completely dependent on me, the way it's always been when my dad's not around, and I could choose to make her life a living hell. The worst case scenario is something much more serious happens to my father and she allowed her petty bullshit of favouritism prevent me from seeing him one last time or she side-blinds my ability to care for or grief for him. On the whole I tend to pick my battles and pass over most of them. However, in rare cases, I have simply hacked a relationship into itty bitty pieces and left it for dead. She's not exempt. The truth is he is my favourite.
Edit: So, apparently my dad needs a pacemaker sometime this week. The problem may or may not resolve itself -- they're concerned because he's never exhibited any cardiac symptoms before -- but they say he won't survive the second procedure if they don't take precautions. My mother came home to tell us the news complete with snippy attitude, nasty expressions and dismissive gestures. However, in a strange way I'm kind of glad that I'm not the only one who sees this. My mother's sweeter than candy to everyone else and my dad has blinders on, so having someone give me patient and sympathizing looks while my mother sucks her teeth and rolls her eyes lets me know I'm not suffering from the residual effects of post-teenage angst.