the worse is yet to come

[grassinmypants]

I have recently noticed a common tread between all of my friends we are all incredibly fucked up in the head. no one will addmit it but we all do have serious issues and those of us who need help the most can not get any because no one wants to show the pain that they are in to actually help another person. I feel that this place is going into a serious hole and soon enough no one is going to be able to get out of it. I was trying to discuss this issue with lisa and miranda yesterday and they thought that my views on this were very true but in the same breathe they both said that their issues werent that bad. No one can face reality and say that they are just as bad as everyone else. i dont know.......i guess my mind is just wondering because of lack of sleep but i feel like i am falling and no one is here to catch me all i really want is to go home and talk to my friends there. at least there i can somewhat hide the pain that i feel because everyone there makes me so happy. im not saying that i dont love the people that are here with me now but everyone is so wrapped up in their own lives and their own issues that they dont have time to talk to other people about anything. i just want things to get better and i dont see it happening in the near future.

"i was once sitting in my room contemplating the aspects of my life and i realized that i have never actually lived my own life ive been allowing others to live it for me and im sick of doing that now this time it will be different and i will maintain who i am without comprimising anything"