New Year
The new year
It’s a new year and with that comes new beginning’s. I’ve sat and reflected on the past 12 months and put into perspective what I’ve accomplished and how far I still have yet to go. 2004 will hold some great memories for me. I met some great people, graduated college, moved back to Portland and started to become a better “me”.
Until now… I’ve scratched beneath the surface and realized how unhappy I’ve become. It’s been hard not having my own place. I struggle day to day with the ongoing stress of having 2 roommates who cross the boundary of family so they aren’t as typical and easy going as a roommate situation can be. It makes me appreciate what I had in Cincinnati. I love where I’m at and I have a roof over my head, but for the money I pay, I could be happier.
Work. That’s a joke. I spent $32K to go to school and get a degree that I barely use. I have 2 clients with part-time work that doesn’t even pay me on a regular basis. Designers are a dime a dozen out here and the economy is tough. I’m convinced it’d be easier to get a job making socks, cuz everybody needs socks, right?
Then comes girls. Those fuckin women that I love so much, yet get me into trouble every time. I’m so tired of the games and all the bullshit drama. I’m tired of the same old bar scene with tired ass drunks and forgotten conversations. I’m tired of having meaningless sex. I thought casual, no-strings attached sex was what I wanted, but I’m starting to realize that no-strings is another word for empty. I thought I was miserable when I was dating Kathy, but in all reality it was the person I was miserable with, not the relationship. I’ve said it before and its true: I’m a serial monogamist. I guess I should stick with what works. I miss being able to jump in the car and just go. Not caring where because the person next to me is all I need. I miss the late night conversations, arguing over who forgot to put the toothpaste cap back on and then laughing at being ridiculous. I miss someone to cuddle with at night and tell them how beautiful they are and knowing that they compliment me so well. I miss being in love with my best friend. It’s been a year since I’ve gotten butterflies or been nervous around a girl and I want that back more than anything.
It’s 2005 and this year I want to know what it’s like to feel again.
It’s a new year and with that comes new beginning’s. I’ve sat and reflected on the past 12 months and put into perspective what I’ve accomplished and how far I still have yet to go. 2004 will hold some great memories for me. I met some great people, graduated college, moved back to Portland and started to become a better “me”.
Until now… I’ve scratched beneath the surface and realized how unhappy I’ve become. It’s been hard not having my own place. I struggle day to day with the ongoing stress of having 2 roommates who cross the boundary of family so they aren’t as typical and easy going as a roommate situation can be. It makes me appreciate what I had in Cincinnati. I love where I’m at and I have a roof over my head, but for the money I pay, I could be happier.
Work. That’s a joke. I spent $32K to go to school and get a degree that I barely use. I have 2 clients with part-time work that doesn’t even pay me on a regular basis. Designers are a dime a dozen out here and the economy is tough. I’m convinced it’d be easier to get a job making socks, cuz everybody needs socks, right?
Then comes girls. Those fuckin women that I love so much, yet get me into trouble every time. I’m so tired of the games and all the bullshit drama. I’m tired of the same old bar scene with tired ass drunks and forgotten conversations. I’m tired of having meaningless sex. I thought casual, no-strings attached sex was what I wanted, but I’m starting to realize that no-strings is another word for empty. I thought I was miserable when I was dating Kathy, but in all reality it was the person I was miserable with, not the relationship. I’ve said it before and its true: I’m a serial monogamist. I guess I should stick with what works. I miss being able to jump in the car and just go. Not caring where because the person next to me is all I need. I miss the late night conversations, arguing over who forgot to put the toothpaste cap back on and then laughing at being ridiculous. I miss someone to cuddle with at night and tell them how beautiful they are and knowing that they compliment me so well. I miss being in love with my best friend. It’s been a year since I’ve gotten butterflies or been nervous around a girl and I want that back more than anything.
It’s 2005 and this year I want to know what it’s like to feel again.