Reassurance Part 1/? WIP
REASSURANCE Part 1 of ? (wip)
Raiting: R (hard?)
Summary: Hephaestion has a young lover, 'nough said.
Disclaimer: These characters belong to history, but these are MY CHARACTERIZATIONS!
Slash Pairing: Alexander/ Hephaestion, Alexander/OC, implied Alexander/ Bagoas
Warning: Love story, sex, angst, jealousy...
PART I
He rolled the scrap of parchment back up, letting it drop to the table. He did not meet Ptolemy’s eyes, but pressed his thumbs into his own eyes until he saw spots. Ptolemy cleared his throat, announcing he was about to speak in case his King did not want him to.
"I thought it might be prudent to apprise you of this situation, Eumeus is extremely upset. I have never seen him this way¼"
"He brought this to you and not me, why?" Alexander challenged, he was still struggling to wrap his mind around what he had just read.
"Well, I think he was concerned with your reaction, considering the people involved¼"
"Hephaestion, you mean. You can say it; Eumeus did not bring this to my attention because he thought what?"
"Do you want his exact words or a summary of what he said?" Ptolemy asked, the corners of him mouth turning up, unable to hide his amusement, recalling Eumeus’ colorful tirade.
"Ptolemy, I have no patience for you story-telling! What did he say¼,"Alexander was again pressing his thumbs into his eye sockets.
"Sorry, Lord¼ He said he found this letter in Thelios’ things, he was very flustered and upset. Apparently Thelios has become his lover since he has been here¼"
"Remind me who Thelios is again¼" Alexander was racing through his catalogue of faces, trying to recall the one that has suddenly become so important.
"He is one of the pages that came a few months ago. He is 16, a beautiful young man. He had shown his bravery in local skirmishes before he came out here. His father was Politis and his mother made him a soldier at 10 after word reached her that Politis, as well as his oldest son, died in battle. He had been tutored by the poet, Hy--, Hary---, Hamy-."
"Hermeius." Alexander corrected.
"Yes, Hermeius, that was it. Well his father’s dying wish was for his son to serve, but when his brother, I apologize, Lord, you know my weakness with names, died, her mother sent us the poet."
"Is he soft?"
"Actually no, quite the opposite. It is as if he has something to prove, the other boys used to tease him, but he has become somewhat of a personality, with his athletic prowess and looks."
"And his relation to Eumeus?" Alexander prodded, wishing Ptolemy would just debrief him instead of finding childish amusement in the camp’s gossip.
"He was a friend of Politis, more than friends when they were younger, according to rumor. When Thelios was sent out here, Eumeus had promised his mother he would watch out for him. Eumeus was immediately smitten; you know his weakness for young beautiful men¼"
"And?!?!" Alexander demanded, his patience growing thinner.
"They are lovers, Alexander. Eumeus found this note in his things."
"And Hephaestion wrote it¼"
"Well sir, that is what Eumeus claims."
"It is his handwriting, he wrote it." Alexander announced, his voice far away, his face stone, "Ptolemy, you have known me since we were boys and I pride you on telling me the truth plainly, please do so now."
"According to Eumeus, Hephaestion took advantage of this boy, whether it was force or seduction, I don’t know, but Eumeus sensed a difference, you know, since they were lovers¼"
Alexander nodded, wishing this conversation was over so he could be alone with his thoughts.
"¼ So he went through his things and found this note. It leaves no doubt there is something going on between them."
"Thank you Ptolemy, you may go now."
* * *
Alexander picked up the scroll and opened it again. Your scent seems to have clung to everything you touched. I woke up in the night thinking you were here because your scent has permeated my bedding. I couldn’t stop thinking about you, I could hear you whispering my name, could feel you writhing beneath me, begging me for more, more, more¼ Alexander stopped reading when Bagoas silently appeared before him. Bagoas kept his eyes down; he seemed to have a sixth sense with his King’s moods and knew when his quiet composure was necessary.
"Yes, Bagoas?" Alexander huffed; his face was lined and showed the furtive workings of his mind beneath.
"Do you need anything, My Lord?" Bagoas asked, his eyes still on the floor.
"No, you can go, come back to me at dinner¼" Alexander whispered, his distraction stinging the boy, but Bagoas did not like to let his master see his jealousy, it was unbecoming in a pleasure slave. Bagoas turned to go, but Alexander’s sigh stopped him.
"What is it, my King?" the eunuch answered, his eyes pleading for the chance to help his beloved.
"Please tell me the truth, I won’t be angry. Do you keep up with the gossip around my camp?"
"I cannot help but hear things." Bagoas replied, Alexander sensed he did not want to share the knowledge he had, but he prodded the boy.
"So you are aware of Eumeus and his young lover."
The eunuch’s face blanched, he knew what his king wanted to know. Bagoas wished it was in his nature to lie to his King’s face, but if Alexander demanded the truth, Bagoas would tell him.
"Yes, Thelios¼ they seem to have had a falling out though, My Lord." Bagoas prostrated himself out of habit. Discussing Hephaestion with Alexander made Bagoas nervous.
"Do you know why?" Alexander knew the boy knew, but he couldn’t force the words out of his mouth.
"My Lord," Bagoas voice seemed to tremble, like it only did when he was aroused or frightened, "Thelios has let himself be taken by someone else. Eumeus is very angry, but also hurt, I suspect. He seemed to be quite fond of the boy."
"This someone else is Hephaestion?" Bagoas did not know if this was a question or a statement from his king, so he just nodded his head, afraid any words might set off his King’s anger.
"Do you know this for a fact, my pet?" Alexander’s voice softened, he knew he was frightened.
"Yes sir, I saw them¼" Bagoas barely whispered.
"You saw Hephaestion with Thelios?" Alexander’s stool thudded onto its side as the King rose violently, his eyes clouding over, "why, Bagoas, is this the first you have said to me of this?"
Tears sprung to the eunuch’s eyes and, whether a subtle manipulation learned in Darius’s court or genuine alarm, Alexander hated to see his sweet boy crying. "I am sorry, Bagoas, I did not mean to yell, but please, keep control of yourself and tell me what has been going on under my nose."
"Well, Hephaestion seduced Thelios. I believe it was a way for him to get back at Eumeus, for what I do not dare to guess. I had heard the rumors, but I didn’t put much thought into them, until you sent me to bring him to you the other night. Thelios had switched with Hephaestion’s page, so when I got to his tent, there was no guard at the door. I called his name, I was alarmed no one was standing guard," the boy was now completely in tears, and he seemed to be shivering, "I heard noises, I only wanted to make sure everything was as it should be, I swear I was only checking for danger."
"Bagoas," Alexander whispered, coming to stand in front of the boy, his voice stern "I do not wish to punish you; I wish to hear what you should have told me that night. Bagoas, be brave and finish!"
"I heard the noises, I thought their might be a struggle, so I went in¼ they were, they were rutting like beasts sir, which is what all the noise was! I didn’t want to make you angry, I was afraid¼" Bagoas finally finished with a sob.
"Thank you, you may go. And Bagoas, it is never prudent to withhold information from your King, I haven’t decided what I am to do about that yet¼" and Alexander turned to look at a map on the wall and Bagoas disappeared silently.
He was pacing frantically when the tent flap swung open and Hephaestion sauntered in, smiling, and approached to embrace his King. Alexander froze and immediately, before their eyes even met, Hephaestion sensed something was amiss.
"Alexander?" he questioned, "what is wrong?"
Alexander said nothing, but picked up the crumbled fragment of scroll and handed it to Hephaestion.
"What is this?"
"Why don’t you read it and tell me¼"
Hephaestion unfurled the scroll and his smile faded away as he realized what is was.
"Where did you get this?" Hephaestion hissed.
"Eumeus found it in Thelios’ things."
"So how many people have seen this?"
"That is all you have to say?" Alexander asked incredulously.
"Alexander, what do you want me to say? I am not going to deny it, I never meant for you to read it, it was between me and the boy."
"¼I need to be with you tonight, come to me. I want to feel your trembling thighs spread wide around me as I drive into you, hear your groans and taste your skin..
"Alexander, I am sorry you had to see this, I will be more discrete in the future." Hephaestion said, his head bowed respectfully to his king.
"I never want to¼" Alexander was unable to finish; he pinched the bridge of his nose, turning his knuckles white.
"Alexander¼" Hephaestion whispered, standing right in front of Alexander, blocking the path of his constant pacing, "It is nothing, my King¼"
"Nothing? Is this why you haven’t been to my bed? This entire time I have been thinking you are angry with me, but no, there is someone else." Hephaestion tried to interrupt, but the King held out his hand, silencing the other man, "and this is how I had to find out?"
"It grieves me that you think I have replaced you, my love. Nothing could be farther from the truth."
"Why have you not told me of this? We have never had secrets in the past¼"
"It wasn’t because of you¼ I knew you would be upset, he was Eumeus’¼"
"Was?" Alexander asked, his grey eyes dark and hard, "so you stole one of my most trusted companion's lovers¼"
"I don’t want to bore you with my petty disputes with Eumeus; I know your feelings in regards to that." Hephaestion sighed, "But with all the respect you deserve, my King, I don’t see why I am being chastised for this."
"I may have taken lovers, Hephaestion, but never have I flaunted it under your nose. This letter! Oh, My Hephaestion, how many years has it been since you have written me a letter like that one¼"
"You are jealous? With your wife, and your eunuch," he spat with disgust, "you are jealous of some soldier boy? "¼I want you, I want to be inside of you, I want to make you tremble and beg for me to give you release..."
Hephaestion blushed a deep crimson, his embarrassment and fear were quickly turning into anger, and "this really does not concern you. I watch you and that, that gelding and now you are throwing a tantrum like a school boy because someone else wants me! I have needs and baser desires than you. I need to feel wanted¼"
"Why did you do this? Was it to hurt Eumeus or me? Please tell me the truth¼"
"I did it because he is a beautiful boy who has not yet lost his poet’s soul." Hephaestion blurted, locking eyes with his king.
"Oh Hephaestion¼" Alexander cried in anguish, covering his face with his hands, "Why?"
"I don’t know what you are asking me¼ since when are you so upset when I bed someone? Eumeus deserved it!"
"So you are using this boy to spite Eumeus¼"
"I am not using him, he is 16, and quite compliant," Hephaestion could not hide his smile from his king.
"Are you enjoying this?" Alexander demanded
"That you are jealous? Well, since you asked me tell the truth, yes, quite a bit¼"
"I do not ever, ever, ever want to read some love letter you wrote to someone else¼ And then that I am the last one to know¼"
"Not everyone knows, you are over-reacting." Hephaestion chuckled, mistakenly thinking the quarrel was over.
"I sent Bagoas for you the other night, I wanted to be with you, and he came back and said you were not there. Today, on further questioning, I find out you were there, and there was no guard on your door, so he went in because he was concerned and thought he heard a struggle. He saw you. He saw you with Eumeus’ boy!"
Hephaestion could not stifle his laughter, relishing in this moment. "Your eunuch walked in on us! That is rich! And he did not run back here immediately to tattle?"
"This is not amusing! How long has this been going on? What am I supposed to say to Eumeus? He couldn’t even come to me, he was afraid how I would react¼" Alexander was pacing again, as if he had forgotten Hephaestion was there and was talking to himself, "I still have to deal with him, he thinks I will lose my reason when I find out you have been courting this boy! This makes me very unhappy, very, very unhappy!"
"My King, my wish was never to make you unhappy. It is nothing to be alarmed about¼ Eumeus didn’t come to you because he knows you won’t tell me give the boy up. He is beside himself, apparently he is heartbroken¼." Hephaestion said, the amusement still evident although he tried to cover it up out of respect for Alexander’s position.
"What makes you so sure I won’t make you give the boy up? I am your King, Hephaestion, will you not do what I require of you?" Alexander replied, his voice icy and hard.
"My king might require I give the boy up, but my Alexander can deny my nothing¼" Hephaestion whispered, his voice throaty and intimate, locking eyes with Alexander. Alexander sighed deeply, falling back onto a couch. He did not break eye contact with Hephaestion, but held his eyes, trying to break the stalemate. Finally the King spoke.
"Is this why you have not been to my bed lately?"
"This is not the cause of that, only the effect¼"
"Have I been neglecting you, my Most Loved?"
"Alexander, we are far too old for that¼," Hephaestion smiled, reciting the lines he had said many times, "it is inappropriate."
"We have been saying the same thing for years, It has made no difference¼"
"Are you still upset with me?" Hephaestion asked, boldly sitting down on the couch beside his King.
"I can never stay angry with you¼" Alexander murmured as Hephaestion leaned in for a kiss. Hephaestion barely brushed his lips before moving down to his neck, nuzzling until he found the spot he was looking for and sealed his mouth there, sucking gently, until he pulled a groan out of Alexander.
"I am yours whenever you will have me¼ I love you, only you, since I was a boy¼" Hephaestion breathed into his ear as his hand crept up his King’s thigh, trying to find a break in the voluminous Persian robes. Alexander said nothing, just pressed Hephaestion’s head into his neck and pulled them both back onto the couch.
They were too old to still be lovers; they were older men who should both have younger men, as well as wives and mistresses. Although both had others they bedded, and they had tried in the past, on several occasions, to end the physical side of their affair, they could never stay apart for too long. They would make it for a while, talking and laughing, exerting themselves athletically, to the point of exhaustion, but they were drawn to each other. They had other lovers, Alexander even had Bagoas, who would fulfill his every sexual whim, but they would be drinking or up all night talking, and alone, and it was hard to keep the wheel from sliding into its groove, a pattern set after years, where the connection would not lessen despite their colossal will power.
"Alexander¼ it is the middle of the day¼" Hephaestion gasped, trying to lift himself off of the King, "someone will walk in¼" Alexander stopped, putting his hand on Hephaestion’s face, forcing him to lock eyes.
"Would that be so bad?"
"Alexander! Your mind is clouded with lust and envy, my Love, you are not thinking clearly¼" Hephaestion wetly murmured into Alexander’s mouth, meeting his lips again for another kiss, "the rumors are already bad enough¼"
"You are correct, I know. Is that what Eumeus says that gets you so angry?" Alexander asked, still not releasing Hephaestion.
"No, they have said we are still lovers for years¼"
"Why do you hate him? Why of all the women or boys, do you want his?"
"It started that way, but Thelios, he is¼" Hephaestion trailed off.
"What does he do?"
"Alexander, I don’t think we should discuss this¼"
"Not Thelios! Eumeus, what does he do to make my generous Hephaestion hate him so."
"It is nothing."
"I am going to speak to him next, what do you think he is going to tell me?"
"He would never repeat to you what he said to me, he knows better."
"I will force him to; he will not disobey his King."
"Alexander, please don’t¼"
"What don’t you want me to know?" Alexander pulled away from he man still laying half-way on top of him, his brilliant eyes glinting; he knew he was on to something.
"Nothing, don’t fret, I can handle him."
"This is how you handle him? You steel his lover and drive me half crazy¼ He is going to come to me and what am I going to say?"
"Tell him you are the King and he needs to do what you ask, regardless."
"Hephaestion," Alexander sighed deeply, "since when do you keep secrets from me? Why are you not speaking your mind?"
"Ask him what he says to me, if you must, but I will not repeat it, least of all to you!" Hephaestion said, pulling himself away from Alexander to sit on the end of the couch.
"Your King could command you tell him, but you can deny your Alexander nothing," the King whispered, his hand finding the back Hephaestion’s neck.
"I guess I deserved that¼" Hephaestion smiled, "but it would still pain me to repeat what he says, I wish you would leave it alone."
"I would have if you had not subjected me to that letter¼ I have been wounded many times, Hephaestion, but I lost my breath when Ptolemy brought that to me."
"Uhhh," Hephaestion grunted, lunging for Alexander’s neck again, "I love when you are jealous; it reminds me of when we were young."
"Do not try to distract me!" Alexander pushed Hephaestion away, "tell me what Eumeus says."
"Alexander¼"
"Tell me, Hephaestion."
"Command me if you must, punish me it you see fit, but I will not repeat it." Hephaestion vowed his face coloring with shame. He refused to meet Alexander’s eyes, but his jaw was set in determination and Alexander knew to force him would be a mistake he would regret later.
"You are dismissed. I will deal with this later, I have an empire to run¼" and with this he stood up and waved Hephaestion away dismissively.
Raiting: R (hard?)
Summary: Hephaestion has a young lover, 'nough said.
Disclaimer: These characters belong to history, but these are MY CHARACTERIZATIONS!
Slash Pairing: Alexander/ Hephaestion, Alexander/OC, implied Alexander/ Bagoas
Warning: Love story, sex, angst, jealousy...
PART I
He rolled the scrap of parchment back up, letting it drop to the table. He did not meet Ptolemy’s eyes, but pressed his thumbs into his own eyes until he saw spots. Ptolemy cleared his throat, announcing he was about to speak in case his King did not want him to.
"I thought it might be prudent to apprise you of this situation, Eumeus is extremely upset. I have never seen him this way¼"
"He brought this to you and not me, why?" Alexander challenged, he was still struggling to wrap his mind around what he had just read.
"Well, I think he was concerned with your reaction, considering the people involved¼"
"Hephaestion, you mean. You can say it; Eumeus did not bring this to my attention because he thought what?"
"Do you want his exact words or a summary of what he said?" Ptolemy asked, the corners of him mouth turning up, unable to hide his amusement, recalling Eumeus’ colorful tirade.
"Ptolemy, I have no patience for you story-telling! What did he say¼,"Alexander was again pressing his thumbs into his eye sockets.
"Sorry, Lord¼ He said he found this letter in Thelios’ things, he was very flustered and upset. Apparently Thelios has become his lover since he has been here¼"
"Remind me who Thelios is again¼" Alexander was racing through his catalogue of faces, trying to recall the one that has suddenly become so important.
"He is one of the pages that came a few months ago. He is 16, a beautiful young man. He had shown his bravery in local skirmishes before he came out here. His father was Politis and his mother made him a soldier at 10 after word reached her that Politis, as well as his oldest son, died in battle. He had been tutored by the poet, Hy--, Hary---, Hamy-."
"Hermeius." Alexander corrected.
"Yes, Hermeius, that was it. Well his father’s dying wish was for his son to serve, but when his brother, I apologize, Lord, you know my weakness with names, died, her mother sent us the poet."
"Is he soft?"
"Actually no, quite the opposite. It is as if he has something to prove, the other boys used to tease him, but he has become somewhat of a personality, with his athletic prowess and looks."
"And his relation to Eumeus?" Alexander prodded, wishing Ptolemy would just debrief him instead of finding childish amusement in the camp’s gossip.
"He was a friend of Politis, more than friends when they were younger, according to rumor. When Thelios was sent out here, Eumeus had promised his mother he would watch out for him. Eumeus was immediately smitten; you know his weakness for young beautiful men¼"
"And?!?!" Alexander demanded, his patience growing thinner.
"They are lovers, Alexander. Eumeus found this note in his things."
"And Hephaestion wrote it¼"
"Well sir, that is what Eumeus claims."
"It is his handwriting, he wrote it." Alexander announced, his voice far away, his face stone, "Ptolemy, you have known me since we were boys and I pride you on telling me the truth plainly, please do so now."
"According to Eumeus, Hephaestion took advantage of this boy, whether it was force or seduction, I don’t know, but Eumeus sensed a difference, you know, since they were lovers¼"
Alexander nodded, wishing this conversation was over so he could be alone with his thoughts.
"¼ So he went through his things and found this note. It leaves no doubt there is something going on between them."
"Thank you Ptolemy, you may go now."
* * *
Alexander picked up the scroll and opened it again. Your scent seems to have clung to everything you touched. I woke up in the night thinking you were here because your scent has permeated my bedding. I couldn’t stop thinking about you, I could hear you whispering my name, could feel you writhing beneath me, begging me for more, more, more¼ Alexander stopped reading when Bagoas silently appeared before him. Bagoas kept his eyes down; he seemed to have a sixth sense with his King’s moods and knew when his quiet composure was necessary.
"Yes, Bagoas?" Alexander huffed; his face was lined and showed the furtive workings of his mind beneath.
"Do you need anything, My Lord?" Bagoas asked, his eyes still on the floor.
"No, you can go, come back to me at dinner¼" Alexander whispered, his distraction stinging the boy, but Bagoas did not like to let his master see his jealousy, it was unbecoming in a pleasure slave. Bagoas turned to go, but Alexander’s sigh stopped him.
"What is it, my King?" the eunuch answered, his eyes pleading for the chance to help his beloved.
"Please tell me the truth, I won’t be angry. Do you keep up with the gossip around my camp?"
"I cannot help but hear things." Bagoas replied, Alexander sensed he did not want to share the knowledge he had, but he prodded the boy.
"So you are aware of Eumeus and his young lover."
The eunuch’s face blanched, he knew what his king wanted to know. Bagoas wished it was in his nature to lie to his King’s face, but if Alexander demanded the truth, Bagoas would tell him.
"Yes, Thelios¼ they seem to have had a falling out though, My Lord." Bagoas prostrated himself out of habit. Discussing Hephaestion with Alexander made Bagoas nervous.
"Do you know why?" Alexander knew the boy knew, but he couldn’t force the words out of his mouth.
"My Lord," Bagoas voice seemed to tremble, like it only did when he was aroused or frightened, "Thelios has let himself be taken by someone else. Eumeus is very angry, but also hurt, I suspect. He seemed to be quite fond of the boy."
"This someone else is Hephaestion?" Bagoas did not know if this was a question or a statement from his king, so he just nodded his head, afraid any words might set off his King’s anger.
"Do you know this for a fact, my pet?" Alexander’s voice softened, he knew he was frightened.
"Yes sir, I saw them¼" Bagoas barely whispered.
"You saw Hephaestion with Thelios?" Alexander’s stool thudded onto its side as the King rose violently, his eyes clouding over, "why, Bagoas, is this the first you have said to me of this?"
Tears sprung to the eunuch’s eyes and, whether a subtle manipulation learned in Darius’s court or genuine alarm, Alexander hated to see his sweet boy crying. "I am sorry, Bagoas, I did not mean to yell, but please, keep control of yourself and tell me what has been going on under my nose."
"Well, Hephaestion seduced Thelios. I believe it was a way for him to get back at Eumeus, for what I do not dare to guess. I had heard the rumors, but I didn’t put much thought into them, until you sent me to bring him to you the other night. Thelios had switched with Hephaestion’s page, so when I got to his tent, there was no guard at the door. I called his name, I was alarmed no one was standing guard," the boy was now completely in tears, and he seemed to be shivering, "I heard noises, I only wanted to make sure everything was as it should be, I swear I was only checking for danger."
"Bagoas," Alexander whispered, coming to stand in front of the boy, his voice stern "I do not wish to punish you; I wish to hear what you should have told me that night. Bagoas, be brave and finish!"
"I heard the noises, I thought their might be a struggle, so I went in¼ they were, they were rutting like beasts sir, which is what all the noise was! I didn’t want to make you angry, I was afraid¼" Bagoas finally finished with a sob.
"Thank you, you may go. And Bagoas, it is never prudent to withhold information from your King, I haven’t decided what I am to do about that yet¼" and Alexander turned to look at a map on the wall and Bagoas disappeared silently.
He was pacing frantically when the tent flap swung open and Hephaestion sauntered in, smiling, and approached to embrace his King. Alexander froze and immediately, before their eyes even met, Hephaestion sensed something was amiss.
"Alexander?" he questioned, "what is wrong?"
Alexander said nothing, but picked up the crumbled fragment of scroll and handed it to Hephaestion.
"What is this?"
"Why don’t you read it and tell me¼"
Hephaestion unfurled the scroll and his smile faded away as he realized what is was.
"Where did you get this?" Hephaestion hissed.
"Eumeus found it in Thelios’ things."
"So how many people have seen this?"
"That is all you have to say?" Alexander asked incredulously.
"Alexander, what do you want me to say? I am not going to deny it, I never meant for you to read it, it was between me and the boy."
"¼I need to be with you tonight, come to me. I want to feel your trembling thighs spread wide around me as I drive into you, hear your groans and taste your skin..
"Alexander, I am sorry you had to see this, I will be more discrete in the future." Hephaestion said, his head bowed respectfully to his king.
"I never want to¼" Alexander was unable to finish; he pinched the bridge of his nose, turning his knuckles white.
"Alexander¼" Hephaestion whispered, standing right in front of Alexander, blocking the path of his constant pacing, "It is nothing, my King¼"
"Nothing? Is this why you haven’t been to my bed? This entire time I have been thinking you are angry with me, but no, there is someone else." Hephaestion tried to interrupt, but the King held out his hand, silencing the other man, "and this is how I had to find out?"
"It grieves me that you think I have replaced you, my love. Nothing could be farther from the truth."
"Why have you not told me of this? We have never had secrets in the past¼"
"It wasn’t because of you¼ I knew you would be upset, he was Eumeus’¼"
"Was?" Alexander asked, his grey eyes dark and hard, "so you stole one of my most trusted companion's lovers¼"
"I don’t want to bore you with my petty disputes with Eumeus; I know your feelings in regards to that." Hephaestion sighed, "But with all the respect you deserve, my King, I don’t see why I am being chastised for this."
"I may have taken lovers, Hephaestion, but never have I flaunted it under your nose. This letter! Oh, My Hephaestion, how many years has it been since you have written me a letter like that one¼"
"You are jealous? With your wife, and your eunuch," he spat with disgust, "you are jealous of some soldier boy? "¼I want you, I want to be inside of you, I want to make you tremble and beg for me to give you release..."
Hephaestion blushed a deep crimson, his embarrassment and fear were quickly turning into anger, and "this really does not concern you. I watch you and that, that gelding and now you are throwing a tantrum like a school boy because someone else wants me! I have needs and baser desires than you. I need to feel wanted¼"
"Why did you do this? Was it to hurt Eumeus or me? Please tell me the truth¼"
"I did it because he is a beautiful boy who has not yet lost his poet’s soul." Hephaestion blurted, locking eyes with his king.
"Oh Hephaestion¼" Alexander cried in anguish, covering his face with his hands, "Why?"
"I don’t know what you are asking me¼ since when are you so upset when I bed someone? Eumeus deserved it!"
"So you are using this boy to spite Eumeus¼"
"I am not using him, he is 16, and quite compliant," Hephaestion could not hide his smile from his king.
"Are you enjoying this?" Alexander demanded
"That you are jealous? Well, since you asked me tell the truth, yes, quite a bit¼"
"I do not ever, ever, ever want to read some love letter you wrote to someone else¼ And then that I am the last one to know¼"
"Not everyone knows, you are over-reacting." Hephaestion chuckled, mistakenly thinking the quarrel was over.
"I sent Bagoas for you the other night, I wanted to be with you, and he came back and said you were not there. Today, on further questioning, I find out you were there, and there was no guard on your door, so he went in because he was concerned and thought he heard a struggle. He saw you. He saw you with Eumeus’ boy!"
Hephaestion could not stifle his laughter, relishing in this moment. "Your eunuch walked in on us! That is rich! And he did not run back here immediately to tattle?"
"This is not amusing! How long has this been going on? What am I supposed to say to Eumeus? He couldn’t even come to me, he was afraid how I would react¼" Alexander was pacing again, as if he had forgotten Hephaestion was there and was talking to himself, "I still have to deal with him, he thinks I will lose my reason when I find out you have been courting this boy! This makes me very unhappy, very, very unhappy!"
"My King, my wish was never to make you unhappy. It is nothing to be alarmed about¼ Eumeus didn’t come to you because he knows you won’t tell me give the boy up. He is beside himself, apparently he is heartbroken¼." Hephaestion said, the amusement still evident although he tried to cover it up out of respect for Alexander’s position.
"What makes you so sure I won’t make you give the boy up? I am your King, Hephaestion, will you not do what I require of you?" Alexander replied, his voice icy and hard.
"My king might require I give the boy up, but my Alexander can deny my nothing¼" Hephaestion whispered, his voice throaty and intimate, locking eyes with Alexander. Alexander sighed deeply, falling back onto a couch. He did not break eye contact with Hephaestion, but held his eyes, trying to break the stalemate. Finally the King spoke.
"Is this why you have not been to my bed lately?"
"This is not the cause of that, only the effect¼"
"Have I been neglecting you, my Most Loved?"
"Alexander, we are far too old for that¼," Hephaestion smiled, reciting the lines he had said many times, "it is inappropriate."
"We have been saying the same thing for years, It has made no difference¼"
"Are you still upset with me?" Hephaestion asked, boldly sitting down on the couch beside his King.
"I can never stay angry with you¼" Alexander murmured as Hephaestion leaned in for a kiss. Hephaestion barely brushed his lips before moving down to his neck, nuzzling until he found the spot he was looking for and sealed his mouth there, sucking gently, until he pulled a groan out of Alexander.
"I am yours whenever you will have me¼ I love you, only you, since I was a boy¼" Hephaestion breathed into his ear as his hand crept up his King’s thigh, trying to find a break in the voluminous Persian robes. Alexander said nothing, just pressed Hephaestion’s head into his neck and pulled them both back onto the couch.
They were too old to still be lovers; they were older men who should both have younger men, as well as wives and mistresses. Although both had others they bedded, and they had tried in the past, on several occasions, to end the physical side of their affair, they could never stay apart for too long. They would make it for a while, talking and laughing, exerting themselves athletically, to the point of exhaustion, but they were drawn to each other. They had other lovers, Alexander even had Bagoas, who would fulfill his every sexual whim, but they would be drinking or up all night talking, and alone, and it was hard to keep the wheel from sliding into its groove, a pattern set after years, where the connection would not lessen despite their colossal will power.
"Alexander¼ it is the middle of the day¼" Hephaestion gasped, trying to lift himself off of the King, "someone will walk in¼" Alexander stopped, putting his hand on Hephaestion’s face, forcing him to lock eyes.
"Would that be so bad?"
"Alexander! Your mind is clouded with lust and envy, my Love, you are not thinking clearly¼" Hephaestion wetly murmured into Alexander’s mouth, meeting his lips again for another kiss, "the rumors are already bad enough¼"
"You are correct, I know. Is that what Eumeus says that gets you so angry?" Alexander asked, still not releasing Hephaestion.
"No, they have said we are still lovers for years¼"
"Why do you hate him? Why of all the women or boys, do you want his?"
"It started that way, but Thelios, he is¼" Hephaestion trailed off.
"What does he do?"
"Alexander, I don’t think we should discuss this¼"
"Not Thelios! Eumeus, what does he do to make my generous Hephaestion hate him so."
"It is nothing."
"I am going to speak to him next, what do you think he is going to tell me?"
"He would never repeat to you what he said to me, he knows better."
"I will force him to; he will not disobey his King."
"Alexander, please don’t¼"
"What don’t you want me to know?" Alexander pulled away from he man still laying half-way on top of him, his brilliant eyes glinting; he knew he was on to something.
"Nothing, don’t fret, I can handle him."
"This is how you handle him? You steel his lover and drive me half crazy¼ He is going to come to me and what am I going to say?"
"Tell him you are the King and he needs to do what you ask, regardless."
"Hephaestion," Alexander sighed deeply, "since when do you keep secrets from me? Why are you not speaking your mind?"
"Ask him what he says to me, if you must, but I will not repeat it, least of all to you!" Hephaestion said, pulling himself away from Alexander to sit on the end of the couch.
"Your King could command you tell him, but you can deny your Alexander nothing," the King whispered, his hand finding the back Hephaestion’s neck.
"I guess I deserved that¼" Hephaestion smiled, "but it would still pain me to repeat what he says, I wish you would leave it alone."
"I would have if you had not subjected me to that letter¼ I have been wounded many times, Hephaestion, but I lost my breath when Ptolemy brought that to me."
"Uhhh," Hephaestion grunted, lunging for Alexander’s neck again, "I love when you are jealous; it reminds me of when we were young."
"Do not try to distract me!" Alexander pushed Hephaestion away, "tell me what Eumeus says."
"Alexander¼"
"Tell me, Hephaestion."
"Command me if you must, punish me it you see fit, but I will not repeat it." Hephaestion vowed his face coloring with shame. He refused to meet Alexander’s eyes, but his jaw was set in determination and Alexander knew to force him would be a mistake he would regret later.
"You are dismissed. I will deal with this later, I have an empire to run¼" and with this he stood up and waved Hephaestion away dismissively.