(no subject)
My parents have "gave up" on me if you will. Or they just realize that Im not under their control anymore. Today I spent my time with some very lovley people. We went ice skating until we couldnt feel our bootys. I had soo many snow balls thrown at my face today it was insane. Its hard to breath in cold weather. Half of my hair was iceicles. It was a postitve memory. Until my mother called me. She greeted me with a glorious " so how long have you been smoking Lindsay?". Talk about shock. All I could say was "uhh... I dont smoke.I dont smoke.I dont smoke.I dont smoke?". Ahhhh. After we hung up I felt relieved and terrified. But I can honestly say that I didnt really care. I do what I want, Im not living my precious life under their rules anymore. I do what I want and think is best for myself. Since I was having such a fun day I didnt really remember to think of the fact my parents were at home, doing dishes or watching football knowing the fact that their oldest daughter smokes cigarettes. But Ocassionally reality would return to me in a flash resulting in me freaking out saying I just dont know what im going to do. And debating whose house I would live at. Luckily I have beautiful friends to take me in and actully care.I thank god for that too. Anyways it didnt really hit me until I had to be home. I walked home with PT, as slow and carefully as I could. Feeling like I was about to throw up at the sight of my fathers face. I got greeted with a " heyyyy smoky" at the door this time. As discretly as I could I walked down stairs praying to god my dad wouldnt call my name. Then the second came when I strongly carried my wrestless body upstairs to answer my harsh toned father. At first he just stared at me. I was honestley expecting a hard slap in the face. Instead I got a pity lecture. That turned out to be absolutly wonderfullll to what I was expecting. My parents are disappointed in me but dont give a fuck what I do. Just as long as its not in their house. It only lasted about 20 minutes. And Im completley pleased. I couldnt have hoped for anything better. I thank god for watching over my punk ass today. And everyday for that matter. I have to be more careful with the little things. Definatley. The night came to an ending with me myself and I walking home in freezing weather with the best dog in the world. I am finally at peace.