It's Good To Be Home
(Listening to "Mary's Boy Chile") Me: What are they saying? Them find no place for to WHAT the child?
Mom: Board. Them find no place for to board the child.
Laura: I heard "Them find no place for to bone the child" too.
Me: Have you ever had Mike's Hard Cranberry?
Laura: I've never had Mike's Hard anything.
Mom: That's what she said.
(I should point out that this was following a conversation in which my mother and I were trying to suggest drinks that my sister might like, as she didn't like the most delicious cocktail ever, which my dad made, thinking it was too bitter when it was really sweet. My mom is apparently upset that my sister drinks very little besides beer, even though I didn't drink at all when I was her age.)
I also feel the need to include one portion of the Christmas letter my dad wrote this year which actually made me laugh out loud:
"We're slowly adapting to the empty nest. Certainly miss having our kids in the house, but enjoying the side benefits of unencumered access to the TV, computer, car etc. Now that Maris no longer has any female allies at home - it's one-on-one and I occasionally win the battle to watch ESPN and repeats of 'Braveheart' rather than another episode of "Top Model" "Project Runway" or "Gilmore Girls." I mean, c'mon Braveheart vs. Rory or Lorelai? Please. And I still don't know which one is the mother, and which is the daughter. Mel Gibson, swords and carnage - you can't watch that enough. But I digress."
Mom: Board. Them find no place for to board the child.
Laura: I heard "Them find no place for to bone the child" too.
Me: Have you ever had Mike's Hard Cranberry?
Laura: I've never had Mike's Hard anything.
Mom: That's what she said.
(I should point out that this was following a conversation in which my mother and I were trying to suggest drinks that my sister might like, as she didn't like the most delicious cocktail ever, which my dad made, thinking it was too bitter when it was really sweet. My mom is apparently upset that my sister drinks very little besides beer, even though I didn't drink at all when I was her age.)
I also feel the need to include one portion of the Christmas letter my dad wrote this year which actually made me laugh out loud:
"We're slowly adapting to the empty nest. Certainly miss having our kids in the house, but enjoying the side benefits of unencumered access to the TV, computer, car etc. Now that Maris no longer has any female allies at home - it's one-on-one and I occasionally win the battle to watch ESPN and repeats of 'Braveheart' rather than another episode of "Top Model" "Project Runway" or "Gilmore Girls." I mean, c'mon Braveheart vs. Rory or Lorelai? Please. And I still don't know which one is the mother, and which is the daughter. Mel Gibson, swords and carnage - you can't watch that enough. But I digress."