The Missive Queen
Title: The Missive Queen
Team Name: The Order (of the Phoenix)
Word Count: 100x13
Rating: G
Challenge: Epistolary
Characters: Snape, Mrs Granger, Hermione
Author's Note: Thanks to Lulabelle and Lariope for the beta, and the pat on the head. There's probably some mistakes left as I've changed things so many times since they last took a peek!
Professor Snape,
This is Joanna Johnson-Granger, Hermione’s mother. I don’t know if this ‘Muggle’ letter will ever get to you, but I thought it was worth a try regardless.
The reason why I am writing you is because I am very concerned for my daughter’s welfare. Your name seems to come up more often than can be statistically ignored, therefore I concluded you might have some insight as to what is going on. Hermione hasn’t quite been herself since we have been reunited as a family almost a year ago. I feel she is withholding a tremendous amount of information.
These are the few facts I have been able to piece together: I understand that you have taken a sabbatical from teaching due to health reasons. Good for you! (I am thinking of doing the same myself.) Hermione has also mentioned visiting you in the hospital and in your private home where you are now recuperating and doing well.
This is where things get very muddled for me. She claims that she was not able to graduate from Hogwarts as expected due to her practicum (in the forest???) taking longer than expected. I believe this story to be untrue
~~~
Were you not the Headmaster during that time frame? I don’t understand how my daughter, who supposedly was at the top of her class, has no transcripts and no degree to show for the seven years she has spent at Hogwarts. She is over twenty years of age and has made no effort to even apply to University. I am not trying to lay blame with anyone here. I am merely looking for answers! I have asked Hermione to explain herself but she keeps repeating that it’s complicated and that I wouldn’t understand. Is she in serious trouble?
~~~
That being said, Hermione does not seem overly stressed by her situation. She said that despite the fact that she doesn’t have a degree, she is still well recognized in the Wizarding World. She even claims that the Prime Minister himself has offered her a job and is courting her! Is this even true? She confided in me that she is more interested in conducting research with you, Professor Snape, but she said that you no longer wish to be involved in her education. If this is indeed the case, could you not write her a letter of reference instead?
~~~
I know that Hermione isn’t being entirely truthful with me. Deep down, I fear that perhaps she has not done as well academically as she has professed all along. That would explain your reluctance to take her on as an apprentice and why I overheard her say that she would have to try harder to compete with a certain Lily.
Well, it seems I have rambled on longer than I had planned, but I am a very worried mother.
If ever you do get this letter, a response would be much appreciated.
Thanking you in advance,
Joanna Johnson-Granger
~~~
Mrs Granger,
I have received your missive and spoke to your daughter this afternoon.
I have advised her to be straightforward as to what really happened at Hogwarts during her final year. This will answer your questions.
In regard to academics, she was, indeed, being truthful when she labelled herself the top student at Hogwarts.
I would not worry about her future. She will succeed in whatever field she chooses.
However, should you have more concerns regarding your daughter, contact someone else. I have no wish to become a family therapist based on your sketchy statistical analysis.
Sincerely,
S Snape
~~~
Dear Professor Snape,
Hermione and I have finally managed to have a heart to heart talk about the incredible events that have taken place in the Wizarding World over the last few years. I still find it hard to wrap my mind around the fact that there was a War going on right under our noses and that is why Ryan and I ended up in Australia for two years. I have no words to say how completely surreal it felt to find out what Hermione’s role was in all of this. How could Dumbledore involve and manipulate children like this?
~~~
Anyway, I do wish to thank you for somehow protecting Hermione and her friends during that time. Hermione tells me that you are the very definition of courageous and that she has the greatest admiration for you.
Although we agreed that my initial letter did serve as some sort of catalyst to bring us closer together, she will be furious that I am writing you once again. Will you let me know if she needs anything?
Thanks again,
Joanna Granger
PS- I would argue that my stats analysis was indeed sound as the frequent mention of your name was highly significant.
~~~
Mrs Granger,
I am bouncing with joy over the fact that you and your daughter have reconciled.
However, I am wondering how you got the impression that I wished to become your pen pal. Was my wording unclear in my previous missive? Let me rephrase it: I will not become a liaison officer for you and your daughter.
Best of luck in the future,
S Snape
Mr Snape,
Despite the fact that your wording was quite clear, and your sarcasm amusingly sharp, I thought I would let you know that Hermione is here in case you are still looking for her.
~~~
Dear Professor Snape,
Hermione shared what transpired between the two of you after she kissed you. I know that this is absolutely none of my business, but, so you know, age difference is not an issue in our family. I strongly believe that a smaller year differential does not necessarily correlate with compatibility. My own husband is seven years younger than myself, and I was still his preceptor during his orthodontic rotation when we started dating.
It seems I have rambled on again. Anyway, I am hoping that you will accept Hermione’s invitation to come over here for dinner soon.
Joanna
~~~
Mrs Granger,
If matters between your daughter and I are truly none of your business, why did I receive a total of eight letters informing me of your insightful extrapolations into the situation? I do agree that you have a tendency to ramble on. An unfortunate family trait, I’m afraid, and one which I suppose I will be forced to endure at dinner, this Sunday evening, at your home. Thank you for the invitation.
Sincerely,
Severus Snape
PS- Your daughter wishes to add something.
Mother,
Please stop bothering Severus. You are not helping.
Your beloved daughter,
Hermione
~~~
Dear Severus,
I can’t believe that an entire year has gone by since I first contacted you about Hermione!
She was just here perusing bridal magazines with me when she claimed to have had a ‘Eureka’ moment about your joint project. She insisted that she needed to go check on your last assay trial before she lost her train of thought. I swear this daughter of mine will end up getting married in her lab coat. Anyway, she just left the house in a hurry and suggested I write you in order to find out what to do re: the tuxedo rental.
~~~
Joanna,
Yes, it’s hard to believe how persistent you’ve been with your missives over the past year.
Hermione’s big Eureka moment was that I be the one to tell you that the wedding is this weekend, and that there will be no white dress, no tuxedos and certainly no ‘magic tricks’ to entertain your extended family.
When your little coward of a daughter stops hiding, I will have her call you with more details.
Severus
PS- I was delighted with the massive amount of parchment and ink you sent me as a wedding present. Subtlety worthy of a Gryffindor.
~~~The End~~~
Team Name: The Order (of the Phoenix)
Word Count: 100x13
Rating: G
Challenge: Epistolary
Characters: Snape, Mrs Granger, Hermione
Author's Note: Thanks to Lulabelle and Lariope for the beta, and the pat on the head. There's probably some mistakes left as I've changed things so many times since they last took a peek!
Professor Snape,
This is Joanna Johnson-Granger, Hermione’s mother. I don’t know if this ‘Muggle’ letter will ever get to you, but I thought it was worth a try regardless.
The reason why I am writing you is because I am very concerned for my daughter’s welfare. Your name seems to come up more often than can be statistically ignored, therefore I concluded you might have some insight as to what is going on. Hermione hasn’t quite been herself since we have been reunited as a family almost a year ago. I feel she is withholding a tremendous amount of information.
These are the few facts I have been able to piece together: I understand that you have taken a sabbatical from teaching due to health reasons. Good for you! (I am thinking of doing the same myself.) Hermione has also mentioned visiting you in the hospital and in your private home where you are now recuperating and doing well.
This is where things get very muddled for me. She claims that she was not able to graduate from Hogwarts as expected due to her practicum (in the forest???) taking longer than expected. I believe this story to be untrue
~~~
Were you not the Headmaster during that time frame? I don’t understand how my daughter, who supposedly was at the top of her class, has no transcripts and no degree to show for the seven years she has spent at Hogwarts. She is over twenty years of age and has made no effort to even apply to University. I am not trying to lay blame with anyone here. I am merely looking for answers! I have asked Hermione to explain herself but she keeps repeating that it’s complicated and that I wouldn’t understand. Is she in serious trouble?
~~~
That being said, Hermione does not seem overly stressed by her situation. She said that despite the fact that she doesn’t have a degree, she is still well recognized in the Wizarding World. She even claims that the Prime Minister himself has offered her a job and is courting her! Is this even true? She confided in me that she is more interested in conducting research with you, Professor Snape, but she said that you no longer wish to be involved in her education. If this is indeed the case, could you not write her a letter of reference instead?
~~~
I know that Hermione isn’t being entirely truthful with me. Deep down, I fear that perhaps she has not done as well academically as she has professed all along. That would explain your reluctance to take her on as an apprentice and why I overheard her say that she would have to try harder to compete with a certain Lily.
Well, it seems I have rambled on longer than I had planned, but I am a very worried mother.
If ever you do get this letter, a response would be much appreciated.
Thanking you in advance,
Joanna Johnson-Granger
~~~
Mrs Granger,
I have received your missive and spoke to your daughter this afternoon.
I have advised her to be straightforward as to what really happened at Hogwarts during her final year. This will answer your questions.
In regard to academics, she was, indeed, being truthful when she labelled herself the top student at Hogwarts.
I would not worry about her future. She will succeed in whatever field she chooses.
However, should you have more concerns regarding your daughter, contact someone else. I have no wish to become a family therapist based on your sketchy statistical analysis.
Sincerely,
S Snape
~~~
Dear Professor Snape,
Hermione and I have finally managed to have a heart to heart talk about the incredible events that have taken place in the Wizarding World over the last few years. I still find it hard to wrap my mind around the fact that there was a War going on right under our noses and that is why Ryan and I ended up in Australia for two years. I have no words to say how completely surreal it felt to find out what Hermione’s role was in all of this. How could Dumbledore involve and manipulate children like this?
~~~
Anyway, I do wish to thank you for somehow protecting Hermione and her friends during that time. Hermione tells me that you are the very definition of courageous and that she has the greatest admiration for you.
Although we agreed that my initial letter did serve as some sort of catalyst to bring us closer together, she will be furious that I am writing you once again. Will you let me know if she needs anything?
Thanks again,
Joanna Granger
PS- I would argue that my stats analysis was indeed sound as the frequent mention of your name was highly significant.
~~~
Mrs Granger,
I am bouncing with joy over the fact that you and your daughter have reconciled.
However, I am wondering how you got the impression that I wished to become your pen pal. Was my wording unclear in my previous missive? Let me rephrase it: I will not become a liaison officer for you and your daughter.
Best of luck in the future,
S Snape
Mr Snape,
Despite the fact that your wording was quite clear, and your sarcasm amusingly sharp, I thought I would let you know that Hermione is here in case you are still looking for her.
~~~
Dear Professor Snape,
Hermione shared what transpired between the two of you after she kissed you. I know that this is absolutely none of my business, but, so you know, age difference is not an issue in our family. I strongly believe that a smaller year differential does not necessarily correlate with compatibility. My own husband is seven years younger than myself, and I was still his preceptor during his orthodontic rotation when we started dating.
It seems I have rambled on again. Anyway, I am hoping that you will accept Hermione’s invitation to come over here for dinner soon.
Joanna
~~~
Mrs Granger,
If matters between your daughter and I are truly none of your business, why did I receive a total of eight letters informing me of your insightful extrapolations into the situation? I do agree that you have a tendency to ramble on. An unfortunate family trait, I’m afraid, and one which I suppose I will be forced to endure at dinner, this Sunday evening, at your home. Thank you for the invitation.
Sincerely,
Severus Snape
PS- Your daughter wishes to add something.
Mother,
Please stop bothering Severus. You are not helping.
Your beloved daughter,
Hermione
~~~
Dear Severus,
I can’t believe that an entire year has gone by since I first contacted you about Hermione!
She was just here perusing bridal magazines with me when she claimed to have had a ‘Eureka’ moment about your joint project. She insisted that she needed to go check on your last assay trial before she lost her train of thought. I swear this daughter of mine will end up getting married in her lab coat. Anyway, she just left the house in a hurry and suggested I write you in order to find out what to do re: the tuxedo rental.
~~~
Joanna,
Yes, it’s hard to believe how persistent you’ve been with your missives over the past year.
Hermione’s big Eureka moment was that I be the one to tell you that the wedding is this weekend, and that there will be no white dress, no tuxedos and certainly no ‘magic tricks’ to entertain your extended family.
When your little coward of a daughter stops hiding, I will have her call you with more details.
Severus
PS- I was delighted with the massive amount of parchment and ink you sent me as a wedding present. Subtlety worthy of a Gryffindor.
~~~The End~~~