Ron's Vacation Home
Title: Ron's Vacation Home
Team: Death Eater Spy
Word Count: 100 * 3
Rating: PG-13 (for adult situations)
Challenge: Outhouse
Characters: Hermione/Severus, Ron, Harry, implied LM/HG and DM/HP
Disclaimer: I am not JKR. I do not own the world of Harry Potter. I make no money from this.
A/N: I've taken a few liberties with the outhouse ownership. Ron, Harry, and Hermione are celebrating their friendship in the same manner they have every year since the fall of Voldemort. What happens when it all goes horribly wrong?
Of all the harebrained ideas Ron's had over the years, this has got to be the worst! Hermione thought as she attempted to control her outrage. “You didn't think to inquire about the amenities?”
Ron looked around the shabby cabin, mentally kicking himself for being duped. “Mum's cousin said it had luxuries befitting a Weasley. How was I to know he still held a grudge against my mum because of their magical discrepancies?”
Why the Hell did I agree to this Golden Trio Reunion? I should be in Fiji having hot, sweaty sex with Severus. Hermione smacked herself, seemingly annoyed.
- - - - - - - - - - - -
“Ron,” Harry began. “You said 'running water.' The closest water is that stream a kilometer away. 'Comfortable bedding?' Yes, if you're a barn animal and don't mind hay prodding you in sensitive areas. Don't get me started on that 'well-appointed loo.' Sorry I have to say this, but relieving myself outdoors lost its appeal during our Horcrux hunt.”
“I refuse to use a loo, how ever fantastic it might be, containing porn magazines with sticky pages.” I knew I should have accompanied Severus to that conference.
“Then take your complaints and go” Ron sniped at his two best friends.
- - - - - - - - - - - -
“I'm sorry the loo isn't up to your standards Mione and the beds are worse than your childhood cupboard Harry. I honestly believed Mum's cousin was trying to make amends. I didn't know he would still be so incredibly bitter about everything or he'd screw me over. I wanted this to be fun, like when we borrowed Draco's Swiss chalet” Ron sighed.
“Or the year we used Lucius' Tuscan summer home” Harry interjected.
“We have thoughtful lovers, don't we Harry? That being said, Severus needs me. Let's call this one a wash and give it another go next year, alright?”