(no subject)
woah! an update. strange. I swore I'd never write in this thing again, but here I am. I'm home and I don't know what to do with myself. I honesly think that I've forgotten how to be alone. I had a great day with Andy, and the second he leaves, I don't know what to do with myself. I don't think I've been alone for more than five minutes in over three months. I'm sitting here drinking cold tea and trying to get into a book but my mind keeps wandering to things I shouldn't be thinking about. I still can't sleep at night. It doesn't feel like Christmas and it's hitting me all at once (and a little late) just how much things have/are changing. This summer will most likely be the last time that I'll be living in my parents' house. And it's my parent's house for once, not mine. I'm actually missing dorm life. I love being home, but everyone here has their own lives, just like I do at school. I think I'll take advantage of my ski house and disappear to Vermont for most of next week to keep myself busy. I'm stressing about everything I can and I don't know why. I'm stressing about school even though I'm done with classes. I don't have any idea what I want to do with the rest of my life. I'm stressing about money and about finding a job and an apartment for next year and where it will be. I don't want to disappear next year and I want to be absolutely everywhere at once. I want to spread myself thin. I don't know where to go next.
eh, this will all pass.
eh, this will all pass.