(no subject)
It's been awhile since I've done an actual update.. I knew I'd go away to college and be surprised at the people I did/didn't keep in touch with, but I have to say, I'm slightly more surprised than I thought I would be at the amount of people who have stayed in my life so far. It feels good. I love the friends I've made here, and there are definately a whole bunch that I can talk to about anything. I need that. But I'm still missing all of my friends and the stability that I'm used to having at home. I'm having fun, I'm making friends, I'm doing well in my classes.. but I'm still not happy. This is not to say that I am unhappy, just that something still seems to be missing from my life that I can't quite put my finger on. I'm realizing that even though I do enjoy hanging out with large groups of people, I do enjoy one-on-one time more than anything. Whenever I'm in a large group of people, I find myself bouncing around and talking to everyone because that’s what I feel like I’m supposed to be doing and I do enjoy myself for awile, but not enough, because the conversations never really mean anything. I like actually feeling like I'm connecting with people.
I'm missing my parents and brothers a whole lot more than I thought I would. I was so anxious to get out of that house, but now that I'm out, my relationships with them have changed into what I've always wanted them to be. My dad comes in and takes me out to dinner on occasion, as does my mom, and I'm realizing that I really can talk to them about absolutely anything. I'll be home for saturday night next weekend to celebrate mine and my brother's birthdays (our birthdays are all 10 days apart). I can't believe they're going to be 6 and 16. I know 6 seems so young, but I still see him as such a little baby and I don't want him to grow up without me around. I feel guilty for not being around. I'll be 18 on the 25th. I have to say, it seems long overdue..
here are a a couple pictures from my weekend..
I'm missing my parents and brothers a whole lot more than I thought I would. I was so anxious to get out of that house, but now that I'm out, my relationships with them have changed into what I've always wanted them to be. My dad comes in and takes me out to dinner on occasion, as does my mom, and I'm realizing that I really can talk to them about absolutely anything. I'll be home for saturday night next weekend to celebrate mine and my brother's birthdays (our birthdays are all 10 days apart). I can't believe they're going to be 6 and 16. I know 6 seems so young, but I still see him as such a little baby and I don't want him to grow up without me around. I feel guilty for not being around. I'll be 18 on the 25th. I have to say, it seems long overdue..
here are a a couple pictures from my weekend..