Archmistress of Grand Prairie Ruthe Jackson

[grandprairie]

Anyone who has lived in Grand Prairie long enough has heard of Ruthe Jackson. A city councilwoman of 20 years and a cable access television host, Ruthe Jackson is one of those people who nobody really knows anything about, but just knows that she exists. Her television show pretty much consists of her having the boys and girls of the month from the two town high schools come on, where all she does is throw them softball questions and respond to their answers with "that's nice!" "I want to be a yeast infection researcher, Ruthe!!!" "That's nice!" The city has even gone as far as naming a renovated Food Lion-turned-community center after her with its own tacky flag flying below the Stars and Stripes that has "RJC" on it. Well, it turns out that everyone in Grand Prairie loves her because she is the most perfect and beautiful person in the world. She is eighty-something years old, but hasn't aged a day since 18. The City Council keeps her in a hyperbaric chamber in the basement of City Hall, so that she will never fall into ill health. As long as she is alive, the city of Grand Prairie will, and must, stay in God's favor. No matter how many baptist churches you build, you are nothing without Ruthe Jackson. All of the baptist churches in the world cannot save your backwards suburb, incapable city council, and inept school board from the hellfires like those that rained down on Sodom and Gomorrah. If you fall out of Ruthe Jackson's favor, you've basically fallen out of God's favor. God bless and may his light shine down upon her for another 80,000 years.

http://gptx.org/CityCouncil/RutheJackson.aspx