sometimes life isnt worth living...
I really cant take anything anymore .. i feel so miserable and tired.. and i cant keep myself from falling apart. This had to be the worst week of my entire life.
monday = regular ..tom goes to work comes home and makes me cry..me him and aleesha go to the mall to get his presents and i gave them to him .. then i stay up all night because i have major cramps .. i felt like there were 4 elephants in my belly.
tuesday - i stay home because of the cramps and bake a cake for tom .. tom has work .. comes home we hang out and he makes me cry once again b.c "he is in a bad mood from work"
wednesday - Toms birthday .. i go to school and he goes to work and then when i get home he calls from his house .. i ask if he is coming over for his cake and he is mean again .. so needless to say i cry .. we decide to break it off .. because we cant take it anymore.
thursday - i got to school late.. with my mom .. b.c ash forgot to call me and let me know she wasnt going to school .. dean picks me up and me dean and phil go to jay hess's they smoke and we all hang out until like 6 so i go home and tom calls me telling me how he has to be with me and he is so sorry for being so mean and crap .. stuff i hear everytime we break up ..
friday - tom is bringing me to school in my dads truck .. we go to wawa and this van starts pulling out of their parking spot and almost smashes into tom so he throws it in reverse and hits another truck .. so i'm like freaking out b.c the guys truck is fucked up but nothing is wrong with our truck .. so tom decides he is goping to pay for this so my dad doesnt find out... well it is 2500 dollars and he has 400 so his mom decides to help out.. i wouldnt but w.e ... she is the best mom! so i stay on the phone with tom comforting him b.c he is really upset and he tells me he wants to be with me and blah blah blah.. but ...
saturday - i call him before i go to work and he says he is going to call me there .. so i go to work and around 2 he still hasdnt called so i call him and he gives me a fucking attitude .. so w.e ignore it like always and he comes to pick me up .. so we go to his house so he can change and i can get hair dye for heather and we come to my little brothers birthday party..so i dye heathers hair and we are al talking to my family and he gets mad that i'm not paying attention to him ... even though mr. sociable is in my room .. not talking to my family.. so then we argue.. adn he goes home to call mr. car accident.. he leaves him a message and calls me back .. so i talked to him for a little and then he asked if he could call me back .. so we hang up and ali, heather and chris were over and we were watching mrs. america.. so when he called bac i told him i will call you when this is over .. so i call him from 11 - 12 and there is no answer .. so i left a message and slept with the phone and i never got called back .. then this morning i called him at 9:30 and noone answered again .. he went to melissa's party ... so fuck him .. one minutes he wants to be with me so bad .. but as soon as hre has a chance to mess it up again he does... and he is a compulsive liar.. at least once a day he has to lie about something .. no matt how stupid it is .. so i dont care anymore .. next weekend i'll be getting trashed and who knows what will happen from there .. it hurts so bad .. but why should i let him hurt me all the time.. he really isnt worht it ... i save his ass from so much shit and stick by him through everything... so i'm done i give up on trying ..and this is it .. i want to be with him so bad but now i know never again unless a miracle happens and he really changes but that wont happen ..
monday = regular ..tom goes to work comes home and makes me cry..me him and aleesha go to the mall to get his presents and i gave them to him .. then i stay up all night because i have major cramps .. i felt like there were 4 elephants in my belly.
tuesday - i stay home because of the cramps and bake a cake for tom .. tom has work .. comes home we hang out and he makes me cry once again b.c "he is in a bad mood from work"
wednesday - Toms birthday .. i go to school and he goes to work and then when i get home he calls from his house .. i ask if he is coming over for his cake and he is mean again .. so needless to say i cry .. we decide to break it off .. because we cant take it anymore.
thursday - i got to school late.. with my mom .. b.c ash forgot to call me and let me know she wasnt going to school .. dean picks me up and me dean and phil go to jay hess's they smoke and we all hang out until like 6 so i go home and tom calls me telling me how he has to be with me and he is so sorry for being so mean and crap .. stuff i hear everytime we break up ..
friday - tom is bringing me to school in my dads truck .. we go to wawa and this van starts pulling out of their parking spot and almost smashes into tom so he throws it in reverse and hits another truck .. so i'm like freaking out b.c the guys truck is fucked up but nothing is wrong with our truck .. so tom decides he is goping to pay for this so my dad doesnt find out... well it is 2500 dollars and he has 400 so his mom decides to help out.. i wouldnt but w.e ... she is the best mom! so i stay on the phone with tom comforting him b.c he is really upset and he tells me he wants to be with me and blah blah blah.. but ...
saturday - i call him before i go to work and he says he is going to call me there .. so i go to work and around 2 he still hasdnt called so i call him and he gives me a fucking attitude .. so w.e ignore it like always and he comes to pick me up .. so we go to his house so he can change and i can get hair dye for heather and we come to my little brothers birthday party..so i dye heathers hair and we are al talking to my family and he gets mad that i'm not paying attention to him ... even though mr. sociable is in my room .. not talking to my family.. so then we argue.. adn he goes home to call mr. car accident.. he leaves him a message and calls me back .. so i talked to him for a little and then he asked if he could call me back .. so we hang up and ali, heather and chris were over and we were watching mrs. america.. so when he called bac i told him i will call you when this is over .. so i call him from 11 - 12 and there is no answer .. so i left a message and slept with the phone and i never got called back .. then this morning i called him at 9:30 and noone answered again .. he went to melissa's party ... so fuck him .. one minutes he wants to be with me so bad .. but as soon as hre has a chance to mess it up again he does... and he is a compulsive liar.. at least once a day he has to lie about something .. no matt how stupid it is .. so i dont care anymore .. next weekend i'll be getting trashed and who knows what will happen from there .. it hurts so bad .. but why should i let him hurt me all the time.. he really isnt worht it ... i save his ass from so much shit and stick by him through everything... so i'm done i give up on trying ..and this is it .. i want to be with him so bad but now i know never again unless a miracle happens and he really changes but that wont happen ..