Welcome to T1354!
Welcome, welcome everyone! It is with great excitement and acidic boiling that I would like to welcome you, our Guests, to
We hope you enjoy your stay, and we've got a lot of exciting stuff to show you! Lets get on with the tour, shall we?
At 1354, we carry a wide array of broken and damaged products, so that you and your family can rest assured that you are in a constant state of risk and unease!
Here at 1354, we have state of the art trash disposale equipment. Here we see a giant meat grinder, custom made for this store by Dr. Weird of the South Jersey Shore! It works great, and we've only had 11 casualties year to date! A new record for our store!
We also have super high tech, super expensive communications equipment, to ensure that our team members are always completely out of the loop and unable to perform their jobs competently! Our walkie talkies are made by motorola, and are so small, you can lose them in the palm of your own hand! And that's just awesome. Whats more, instead of simply shutting off when the battery is low, our walkie talkies erupt into a furious cacophony of beeping and siren-like noise pollution!
In our breakroom, we have cutsomizable letters on the wall, with which we spell out motivational messages for our team members, to keep the broken and submissive.
Remember that great old Atari game, Pitfall? Now you can relive it every time you go to get a shelf or peghook, in our ESPECIALLY hazardous fixture room! Watch out for the snakes!
This concludes our tour of 1354. Any questions? I thought not. Now get back to work.
We hope you enjoy your stay, and we've got a lot of exciting stuff to show you! Lets get on with the tour, shall we?
At 1354, we carry a wide array of broken and damaged products, so that you and your family can rest assured that you are in a constant state of risk and unease!
Here at 1354, we have state of the art trash disposale equipment. Here we see a giant meat grinder, custom made for this store by Dr. Weird of the South Jersey Shore! It works great, and we've only had 11 casualties year to date! A new record for our store!
We also have super high tech, super expensive communications equipment, to ensure that our team members are always completely out of the loop and unable to perform their jobs competently! Our walkie talkies are made by motorola, and are so small, you can lose them in the palm of your own hand! And that's just awesome. Whats more, instead of simply shutting off when the battery is low, our walkie talkies erupt into a furious cacophony of beeping and siren-like noise pollution!
In our breakroom, we have cutsomizable letters on the wall, with which we spell out motivational messages for our team members, to keep the broken and submissive.
Remember that great old Atari game, Pitfall? Now you can relive it every time you go to get a shelf or peghook, in our ESPECIALLY hazardous fixture room! Watch out for the snakes!
This concludes our tour of 1354. Any questions? I thought not. Now get back to work.