(no subject)
This whole time spent in exile has been like one giant flashback. I'm serious. Everything that's happened takes me back farther and farther. There's always something reminding me of something that I haven't said or seen or done in months, sometimes, most of the time actually, years.
Like when I got here - sitting around the house, on the internet, or playing video games. All day. Every day. I haven't done that since middle school. And then starting at a new job. Tenth grade. Actually goofing around with my sisters. Middle school again. Being the new guy. Middle school.
And then theres weird stuff, like TV shows coming on that I haven't watched since grade school. Singsongy stuff we used to checkout from the church library. Haven't even thought about it, thought about it, for two or three years. Probably more.
Oh. And the depressed thing. I haven't done that in a long time. I've been happy - joyous - for the longest time, and I didn't appreciate it. Even when I was stressed I was happy. Almost every day I wake up(except for yesterday which felt pretty good) I've asked myself, "Why am I here again? Why did I take this job? Why am I in Texas?" I guess that's part of the process. I don't know.
I miss the people the most. I miss Katie, Keith, Neil, Matt, Emily, Ryan, Sami, Alex, Bryan, Eddie, Cherah, Ashley, Travis, Marcus, even people who either annoy me or I don't know well like Haley Nikki Lauren Kyle Andrew Lindsey and God knows how many other dozens of people. Sometimes I feel like I'd kill for a hug, smile, wink, nod, ANYTHING from ANYBODY back home. I feel so foreign here. Like I don't belong. Like I'm committing some crime by setting foot on Texas soil. this is not my home. And I want my home back.
Sorry for the emotives.
On the plus side, Marvel Wars Episode 1 - Part 1 is now viewable on Youtube, and I've started shooting for part two. That's the other thing I forgot to mention.
Brett and I have talked more over the past couple weeks than we had in awhile. Probably because I'm online more. But in doing so we've had plenty of time to reminisce about the old days, before either of us had jobs or social lives, and we spent all our time online in the Chathouse and eventually the Pantheon, striving to gain internet infamy. We never succeeded to the degree we'd hoped, but even so, those were fun times. We went back to the Roost the other day. The Roost. I haven't logged on there in at LEAST two years. And it just so happened to be on the same week I'd started watching Godzilla movies at random and trying to download obscure Gstuff on the internet.
I don't understand this. It's like one giant flashback, and it's hitting me like a ton of bricks. Maybe I'm supposed to get something. Look at where I've been and where I'm going and how I'm getting there. I really don't know, but I've got five more days of work to think about it. It's my bedtime. In at seven tomorrow. G'night.
-AJ
Like when I got here - sitting around the house, on the internet, or playing video games. All day. Every day. I haven't done that since middle school. And then starting at a new job. Tenth grade. Actually goofing around with my sisters. Middle school again. Being the new guy. Middle school.
And then theres weird stuff, like TV shows coming on that I haven't watched since grade school. Singsongy stuff we used to checkout from the church library. Haven't even thought about it, thought about it, for two or three years. Probably more.
Oh. And the depressed thing. I haven't done that in a long time. I've been happy - joyous - for the longest time, and I didn't appreciate it. Even when I was stressed I was happy. Almost every day I wake up(except for yesterday which felt pretty good) I've asked myself, "Why am I here again? Why did I take this job? Why am I in Texas?" I guess that's part of the process. I don't know.
I miss the people the most. I miss Katie, Keith, Neil, Matt, Emily, Ryan, Sami, Alex, Bryan, Eddie, Cherah, Ashley, Travis, Marcus, even people who either annoy me or I don't know well like Haley Nikki Lauren Kyle Andrew Lindsey and God knows how many other dozens of people. Sometimes I feel like I'd kill for a hug, smile, wink, nod, ANYTHING from ANYBODY back home. I feel so foreign here. Like I don't belong. Like I'm committing some crime by setting foot on Texas soil. this is not my home. And I want my home back.
Sorry for the emotives.
On the plus side, Marvel Wars Episode 1 - Part 1 is now viewable on Youtube, and I've started shooting for part two. That's the other thing I forgot to mention.
Brett and I have talked more over the past couple weeks than we had in awhile. Probably because I'm online more. But in doing so we've had plenty of time to reminisce about the old days, before either of us had jobs or social lives, and we spent all our time online in the Chathouse and eventually the Pantheon, striving to gain internet infamy. We never succeeded to the degree we'd hoped, but even so, those were fun times. We went back to the Roost the other day. The Roost. I haven't logged on there in at LEAST two years. And it just so happened to be on the same week I'd started watching Godzilla movies at random and trying to download obscure Gstuff on the internet.
I don't understand this. It's like one giant flashback, and it's hitting me like a ton of bricks. Maybe I'm supposed to get something. Look at where I've been and where I'm going and how I'm getting there. I really don't know, but I've got five more days of work to think about it. It's my bedtime. In at seven tomorrow. G'night.
-AJ