(no subject)
dearest journal, things are getting weird right before they're supposed to get normal. i'm all alone now, journal. i have to learn to talk to myself and make myself laugh. i am currently spending my time arranging objects and thinking about two people i think i love. my mmentor thinks it's a joke, the people i love. i had two dreams about one which usually means something. my mmentor thinks it's creepy.
my deja vu is coming back heavy. the thoughts are just so clear and familiar. i wish i could harness it into a sort of power. clairvoyance. i don't know. today it was a teacher with a full belly. a baby inside. at the chlorine pool with a small bathing suit on. she walked up the tall slide steps...just as in a dream many moons ago.
i don't want to learn anymore facts, journal. i don't want to listen anymore than i already do.
i'll make more money soon. no more wandering the stacks perusing whatever catches my eye, bound paper or human forms. i'll watch more, but i'll be confined to a certain spot. people will have to come to me. more money will make me want to stop going to school, journal. that's a bad thought.
i don't want to go back yet.
my deja vu is coming back heavy. the thoughts are just so clear and familiar. i wish i could harness it into a sort of power. clairvoyance. i don't know. today it was a teacher with a full belly. a baby inside. at the chlorine pool with a small bathing suit on. she walked up the tall slide steps...just as in a dream many moons ago.
i don't want to learn anymore facts, journal. i don't want to listen anymore than i already do.
i'll make more money soon. no more wandering the stacks perusing whatever catches my eye, bound paper or human forms. i'll watch more, but i'll be confined to a certain spot. people will have to come to me. more money will make me want to stop going to school, journal. that's a bad thought.
i don't want to go back yet.