Moonette's Birthday Magical Mystery Tour Bus Tour I

[grandma_kate]

Ginny Potter stepped away from the Floo Connection and wondered why she had agreed to drive a group of tourists anywhere they wanted to go on the Magical Mystery Tour Bus. She was only doing it as a favor for her mum's friend, grandma_kate. It wasn't that Grandma Kate wasn't a nice old lady, but Ginny was beginning to have doubts about the rest of the

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[stmargarets]

St. Mags smiled at Ginny who was hoisting her Trunk o’ Hunks onto the tour bus. Like Death Eater!Professor Moody, St. Mags possessed a trunk with numerous compartments. There was even a man trap at the very bottom, perfect for capturing a hero until she was done using him in a story. Poor Harry had logged all sorts of hours in that thing while she was writing her multi-chapter stories. But since St. Mags always gave him Ginny’s companionship, Harry never tried to escape her clutches.

“That’s it then?” Ginny asked.

“Yes, I had my trunk of turtlenecks sent on ahead,” St. Mags replied.

“I’m a little nervous about driving you lot around,” Ginny confessed. “It’s been two years since I drove the bus in New Zealand and there’s a lot more traffic here.”

“You’ll be fine.” St. Mags knew that no one was going to pay attention to Ginny, of all people, on this trip. This was all about moonette - moonette and her love of hunky heroes. Even if Ginny put them in a watery ditch, moonette would enjoy watching the men strip off to manhandle the bus out of the mud, the muscles in their back and arms straining from exertion. That most of these characters could do magic and didn’t need to manhandle anything (A/N: except for their girlfriends. LOL) really didn’t matter. It was the muscles and the male nudity and the scars that mattered.

St. Mags sighed and shook her head. Hopefully this party would be different. It would be nice to see some athleticism that didn’t involve bodily harm.

She rolled her eyes. Who was she kidding? Quidditch was a dangerous game and moonette was going to milk it for all it was worth.

St. Mags sat down on her bed (A/N: The Knight Bus had beds - and think of the PG-13 fun we can have on these. *wink *) and opened the first compartment of her Trunk o' Hunks. She took out her Quidditch dolls.

They included:

Roger Davies
Will Wood
Charlie Weasley - both blue and brown-eyed
Oliver Wood
Fred Weasley
George Weasley
Ron Weasley
Harry Potter
Lee Jordan (as announcer)
Dom Meath, moonette’s creation.

Then she took out the opposing team. They were dressed in green. Viktor Krum was the only one she recognized although leather-pants(Yes - pants, TDU, Draco is weird) Draco might have been in there. She never bothered with bad guys or opposing teams in her fluffy scenarios, but they might need them on this trip. The 300 might actually watch the match while the actual torturing of Will occurred in the stands or wherever moonette’s flangsty fog took him.

Then St. Mags opened the second compartment. These were her puppets. They kept her from being shipped and provided bits of comedy for the rest of the group.

There was:
Dave the Sockpuppet
Bob Weasley the accountant
Duncan Hines, prince of time (A/N: What did we do with Duncan? He married a ghost didn’t he?)
Randy Bliss, ski bum.
That fireman guy who came to bonfire at moonette’s beach.

In the third compartment, St. Mags found her fan girl dolls:

Greg Kinnear
Jon Stewart
Jamie Fraser

The fourth compartment held her emergency stash of turtlenecks and scotch. She had only brought one bottle of Glenlivet since she hoped to pick up some duty-free on the way home.

“What are you doing?” Ros asked.

“I’m writing you into the story because I don’t know if you’re going to be here this weekend or not,” St. Mags replied.

“Oh.” Ros blushed. “So - er -“

St. Mags tossed her the blue-eyed Charlie.

“Thanks.”

“Does he know you’re no longer girlyswot?”

“Yes.”

“And he was okay with that? He had to change his tattoo didn’t he?”

Ros had the grace to look guilty. “It’s just a little scar.”

St. Mags shrugged. The blue-eyed Charlie doll was covered in scars - one more really didn’t matter. “So, do you think anyone is going to watch this match?”

“Only if you describe how their thighs flex when they fly.”

“I can do that,” St. Mags said. “What else?”

“Don’t worry about it,” Ros said. “As long as Will gets to score, I think moonette will be happy.”

St. Mags laughed and began to think of more Quidditch sexual innuendos - she had a reputation to uphold.

[moonette1]

LOL! The last two lines are priceless.

[stmargarets]

*sigh* Wand jokes are so much easier.

[grandma_kate]

What? 'Polishing your broom' isn't enough for you?

Maybe the Harmonians based their whole credo on Hermione giving Harry that Broomstick Polishing Kit the first year.

[stmargarets]

LOL - that must be it.

[ladywhizbee]

Oh! I *want* that trunk-o-hunks. Be advised that Lady Whizbee (the AU version, of course) might try and make-off with it, all sexual innuendo implied!

[stmargarets]

AU Lady Whizbee will be a busy lady. :)

All writers need a trunk o' hunks. *nods*

[amamama]

Heee! I love these innuendos of yours. Brilliant. Now then - should I come with Bill or Sirius? Both? *g* No, one will have to do. This time, at least.