(no subject)
I got a bit irritated last night. We had a window and door guy come over and give us estimates. Ten new windows. Three new doors. The possibility of expanding some of the basement windows from their little portholes to honest sunlight-in-the-room portals to the outside.
The total: $23,000. Breaking it apart, it would be ten grand for the doors, six grand for the upstairs windows, and seven grand for the basement.
Give or take.
What irritated me was not the cost. Sure, it was almost as much as we paid for the old house. It's more than we paid for the new car. However, it's good quality stuff and the company has a pretty good rep (except for one rater on Angie's List who completely nuked them for what appears to be no good reason).
It occurred to me that I was upset because my life is too stable. I don't have any opportunities for windfall money. It used to be that I could see some necessary expense coming and simply manufacture a way to get some money. (or, more likely, manufacture money to catch up after falling behind) Between research jobs, yard work for people, or simply copying twenty dollar bills at the 7-11, there were opportunities for more money. The cash would come just in time to pay for the expense.
Of course, my income now is approximately six times what it was when I could generate a windfall. But there is no feeling of infinite upside. I'm capped at the schedule of increases and raises that the office has adopted.
It's all made a little harder having left a job where I had the potential for commissions. Sure, I hated the job with the fiery passion of a thousand exploding suns. And I never actually made a commission since I was not allowed to take my own clients. But, again, there was the feeling of infinite upside.
Growing up is hard. Deferred satisfaction is hard. Living with the crappy front door and the busted ass windows for another year is extremely hard. (but forgetting about those out of work in this economy is quite easy)
And sucking it all up because I don't really have anything to complain about could be the hardest of all. Maybe that's the feeling I miss the most. Angst.
The total: $23,000. Breaking it apart, it would be ten grand for the doors, six grand for the upstairs windows, and seven grand for the basement.
Give or take.
What irritated me was not the cost. Sure, it was almost as much as we paid for the old house. It's more than we paid for the new car. However, it's good quality stuff and the company has a pretty good rep (except for one rater on Angie's List who completely nuked them for what appears to be no good reason).
It occurred to me that I was upset because my life is too stable. I don't have any opportunities for windfall money. It used to be that I could see some necessary expense coming and simply manufacture a way to get some money. (or, more likely, manufacture money to catch up after falling behind) Between research jobs, yard work for people, or simply copying twenty dollar bills at the 7-11, there were opportunities for more money. The cash would come just in time to pay for the expense.
Of course, my income now is approximately six times what it was when I could generate a windfall. But there is no feeling of infinite upside. I'm capped at the schedule of increases and raises that the office has adopted.
It's all made a little harder having left a job where I had the potential for commissions. Sure, I hated the job with the fiery passion of a thousand exploding suns. And I never actually made a commission since I was not allowed to take my own clients. But, again, there was the feeling of infinite upside.
Growing up is hard. Deferred satisfaction is hard. Living with the crappy front door and the busted ass windows for another year is extremely hard. (but forgetting about those out of work in this economy is quite easy)
And sucking it all up because I don't really have anything to complain about could be the hardest of all. Maybe that's the feeling I miss the most. Angst.