Loves in danger
I was commenting to Nate about putting your time and I thought about this:
I remember how we would talk about being in a band, and getting what we wanted. Really what we wanted was acceptance. From our peers, family, friends, and most of all ourselves. All our lives we were the "dorky" or different kids. The kids with no future wanted nothing to do with us and the girls with nothing to offer wouldn't look at us. Yet, we always knew we would go places they never had the chance to. Where that is has everything to do with us, and nothing to do with anyone else. Yet I struggle to forget about all those others. I see someone I didn't like from HS and get this feeling of, "Fuck, I look like a bum today". WHY? Why do I worry about people I don't care about? I know that I'm gonna go far, so who cares what some ass thinks?
I guess no matter what it will always feel medicore. My life isn't average. I mean, look at the number of my family members having to solve their problems with life in court. Some by choice and some by force. Pathetic. "Follow your dream, never give up". What is my dream? Is my dream a particular job, or just to be happy and comfortable with me? I've yet to determine that. I guess that's why I have to move to Cali. Change everything about my life. Find out how much I miss the old one. I know my parents and other close friends and family will miss me. That is a con, but the pros are far greater. Who knows, maybe I'll become insanily rich and famous. It could happen. Anything can happen. At the same time, Nothing could happen too......
I remember how we would talk about being in a band, and getting what we wanted. Really what we wanted was acceptance. From our peers, family, friends, and most of all ourselves. All our lives we were the "dorky" or different kids. The kids with no future wanted nothing to do with us and the girls with nothing to offer wouldn't look at us. Yet, we always knew we would go places they never had the chance to. Where that is has everything to do with us, and nothing to do with anyone else. Yet I struggle to forget about all those others. I see someone I didn't like from HS and get this feeling of, "Fuck, I look like a bum today". WHY? Why do I worry about people I don't care about? I know that I'm gonna go far, so who cares what some ass thinks?
I guess no matter what it will always feel medicore. My life isn't average. I mean, look at the number of my family members having to solve their problems with life in court. Some by choice and some by force. Pathetic. "Follow your dream, never give up". What is my dream? Is my dream a particular job, or just to be happy and comfortable with me? I've yet to determine that. I guess that's why I have to move to Cali. Change everything about my life. Find out how much I miss the old one. I know my parents and other close friends and family will miss me. That is a con, but the pros are far greater. Who knows, maybe I'll become insanily rich and famous. It could happen. Anything can happen. At the same time, Nothing could happen too......