For Wild Magelet

[gilpin25]

Title: One Cool Cookie.
Author: gilpin25
Format: One-shot
Rating & Warnings: PG-13 for innuendo, swearing and sexual references. Occasionally all three in the same sentence. ;)
Word Count: 9959
Summary: Sometimes all it takes is a visit from a passing Dragon Keeper to bring to the surface things that were so well hidden people didn't even know they were

Comments

[wildmagelet]

And this is just as fantastic as I was expecting. Thank you so much. The change in narrative voices is hard to pull off, but you've done it very believably. It's hard to believe that all those points-of-view and ways of thinking and speaking actually came from the mind of one person! :) The multiple viewpoints really add a lot to this story, though, because I love that we get to see Remus's POV at the beginning and hear mostly from Tonks as things progress. And of course Sirius is the fantastically crass and bored, but sarcastically caring outside narrator. I thought that Part of me envies them a bit but, quite honestly, it also seems like a different world. was such a simple sentence, but really profound summary of what post-prison life must have been like for Sirius, even for such a brief time.

I think one of the things that really makes the story come alive are the little details, like Remus rubbing his forehead and laughing while he listens to Tonks talk about her day. And the imagery, like except Moony, who has a blank expression I’ve only seen a couple of times before, which strongly suggests he feels he reached the end of Charlie’s personality about three days previously. is great.

Charlie is perfect. Really. He's fun and handsome, spoiled in the knowledge that he's not just one of a sea of redheaded Weasley sons, that he's a bit different and has the whole dangerous job mystique. And physique, hee. I agree that I love the way he isn't going to let Tonks's departure spoil a good meal.

I love Tonks's voice. She comes across as a completely identifiable woman and one that I'd love to be friends with. I particularly felt for her when she was somewhat bitterly noting that the three men had managed to put aside their differences and bond over trivialities. That's such a universal man thing and it is actually very irritating. :) And I loved the sentence It’s fantastic to be me because that’s who Remus wants., because I imagine that's how a lot of women feel when they find a man who really treats them well.

And of course, I loved Buttons. I mean Remus. The emergence of the Marauder was hilarious. I shared Sirius's half-apprehensive delight! And I thought it was totally in character for the more reserved adult Remus to emerge later, so used to having to do everything right because he already has a giant black mark against him in the eyes of society, that he feels the need to go the extra mile in order to apologise. Even if it means sending the woman he loves off with another man, and paying for the privilege.

And the final R/T scene almost gave me shivers. Enough said. :)

Thank you again for writing this, honestly. Your efforts have definitely not gone to waste, because I'll be re-reading this again and again.

[gilpin25]

You're more than welcome. :)

Especially as it would never have entered my head to write Charlie and Remus competing for Tonks - I've enjoyed stories where people have written Mr Weasley a lot, but I've never thought that much about him myself. So I was a bit "Er..." at first, because I didn't really want to make him some kind of Sex God (as we all know that's Remus;)), but obviously he had to be a threat to him and attractive to Tonks, although possibly not for the reasons Remus fears. Which brought me round to the "Tonks deserves someone young and whole" remark in HBP; Sirius actually says what this Charlie is, not too subtle, not too bright, but a decent guy who is lots of fun, and yet Remus can't stand the sight of her with him. Obviously if it had only happened exactly like this, then HBP could easily have been avoided, lol.

Anyway all that to say, I am so glad you enjoyed it. I was a bit dubious about doing different POV again after We Three Kings, but it seemed an ideal way of having a narrator who alternates between thinking it's all a laugh and being very much involved, to showing how deep the other two were in, even though one was denying it and one was a bit slow to catch on! I'm really pleased you liked the "It's fantastic to be me..." line because that was to try and tie in with the idea that everyone thinks Tonks deserves Remus, especially her. And, yes, I think that's exactly how you do feel when you are in love, like you're The Chosen One! ;)

As I've said before, I really ought to thank you because this was just such fun to write from start to finish, and I would never have thought of it without the request. That final R/T scene I wrote on a scrap of paper and never changed a word when I typed it up, which is almost unheard of, so I'm especially pleased you liked that part. Well, very pleased you liked it all. :)