Push? Pull? I go to WHAT school?
I have a fear. It may even be classified as a phobia. It pretty much
stems from years of frustration, disappointment and embarrassment. I
sometimes have dreams about it. I see myself walking. I'm in a hurry,
walking quickly. I'm brushing past crowds of people. I'm nearly running
towards the door. I'm late for something and I can't let anything get
in my way. I get to the door and slam through it with all the might and
momentum of a fat kid in a buffet line. Only...the door doesn't open!
My whole body slams into the door. My face dizzily bounces off the cold
plexiglass window and my knees knock into bottom of the metal door
causing me to fall back to the ground on my butt. My Nalgene bottle
makes a loud crashing sound on the linoleum. People around me stop and
stare. I have a fear of pushing a "pull" door and vice versa.
It is a sad, sad fear, I know. But I just can't stand getting it wrong. It's very sad. I go to the University of Chicago and I can't open doors. I'm really not that stupid, I swear. There's nothing like someone seeing you pulling with all your strength on a push door. Although, what's worse is when you step back and come to the conclusion that the door is locked and then the guy behind you pushes his way through in a totally condescending manner which really isn't condescending but is inherently condescending because he definitely should be condescending because I AM A FREAKING IDIOT WHO CAN'T OPEN A DOOR! I always complain that all doors should have a sign that says "push" or "pull" but maybe I'm the one who should be wearing a sign that says "INEPT."
They really need to stop making doors that have the same handle on both sides of the door. Every door should have a certain knob for "Pulling" and a certain lack of knob for "Pushing." This way no one will ever have a problem. I like those doors with the bars on them. It is clear that this is a push door. But not all doors are like this. Many doors have the exact same thing on both sides. And I know I'm not the only one that messes it up. Every day in Cobb coffee shop someone pushes when they should pull and pulls when they should push. I've memorized the Cobb door, though. It opens towards the lockers. I know this because it is absurd that they would put lockers in this place because if anyone were trying to get into their locker the door would whack them in the back every time someone happens to figure out the door. Although, the person with this locker would have a good view of all the people running into this door. Hah.
Another problem I have is doors in which it isn't clear which side the open from, left or right. In some of the old buildings on campus there are no markings indicating which side it opens from. So sometimes I have to stand there and analyze and analyze and analyze every aspect of the door so that I'm not pushing the wrong side. I try to locate the hinges first, but sometimes the hinges are hard to find. Then I resort to looking for a crack in the door which may show a sign of weakness. It's a very complicated process. It is also a very annoying process. I shouldn't have to do this every time I want to open the door.
So please, door making people, just start making doors that are easy to open. Doors should not be this confusing, seriously. Even automatic doors freak me out. Sometimes they take too long to open and you're standing in front of them for far too long looking like a helpless food. And sometimes they jump the gun and open on you when you look at them from 20 feet away. Don't even get me started on revolving doors. I wonder if they teach a door opening class at this school. I really should look for it. I could use it. "The Philosophy of Door Opening."
It is a sad, sad fear, I know. But I just can't stand getting it wrong. It's very sad. I go to the University of Chicago and I can't open doors. I'm really not that stupid, I swear. There's nothing like someone seeing you pulling with all your strength on a push door. Although, what's worse is when you step back and come to the conclusion that the door is locked and then the guy behind you pushes his way through in a totally condescending manner which really isn't condescending but is inherently condescending because he definitely should be condescending because I AM A FREAKING IDIOT WHO CAN'T OPEN A DOOR! I always complain that all doors should have a sign that says "push" or "pull" but maybe I'm the one who should be wearing a sign that says "INEPT."
They really need to stop making doors that have the same handle on both sides of the door. Every door should have a certain knob for "Pulling" and a certain lack of knob for "Pushing." This way no one will ever have a problem. I like those doors with the bars on them. It is clear that this is a push door. But not all doors are like this. Many doors have the exact same thing on both sides. And I know I'm not the only one that messes it up. Every day in Cobb coffee shop someone pushes when they should pull and pulls when they should push. I've memorized the Cobb door, though. It opens towards the lockers. I know this because it is absurd that they would put lockers in this place because if anyone were trying to get into their locker the door would whack them in the back every time someone happens to figure out the door. Although, the person with this locker would have a good view of all the people running into this door. Hah.
Another problem I have is doors in which it isn't clear which side the open from, left or right. In some of the old buildings on campus there are no markings indicating which side it opens from. So sometimes I have to stand there and analyze and analyze and analyze every aspect of the door so that I'm not pushing the wrong side. I try to locate the hinges first, but sometimes the hinges are hard to find. Then I resort to looking for a crack in the door which may show a sign of weakness. It's a very complicated process. It is also a very annoying process. I shouldn't have to do this every time I want to open the door.
So please, door making people, just start making doors that are easy to open. Doors should not be this confusing, seriously. Even automatic doors freak me out. Sometimes they take too long to open and you're standing in front of them for far too long looking like a helpless food. And sometimes they jump the gun and open on you when you look at them from 20 feet away. Don't even get me started on revolving doors. I wonder if they teach a door opening class at this school. I really should look for it. I could use it. "The Philosophy of Door Opening."