Bweeoo Bweeoo Bweeoo BWAAHHHHHHBweeoo
I'm a noise song!
I notice I'm making a lot of journal entries, after the longest time of not getting them - and what's more, they're eliciting comments! Either I finally found a way to make what I say interesting, or everyone else in the world is just as bored as I am.
You know what always annoys me? People who put declarations of affection for their significant (or sometimes, not so significant) other in their instant messenger names. You know what I'm talking about - how every MSN Friends list has a name along the lines of "kylie princess7 - (heart)mathew(heart) i luv ur forever!" I think that if you care about someone in a truly affectionate manner, you don't need to plaster that affection all over your most permanent public display of yourself - internet wise, anyway. Getting a tattoo like that would be the stupidest thing I've ever heard of - not if the couple has been together a long time, but most of these MSN "luv forevers" pop up a couple weeks after dating. I think having someone get a tattoo declaring their love that spontaneously would be hilarious, however. Imagine how fast they would get their ass dumped.
It is kind of endearing in a way though. It shows that maybe you want to give a constant reminder to the person you care about that you do care about them - my counter-argument to that, however, would be that if you can't take the effort to tell them, rather than have an instant messaging service give them the constant reminder, then maybe you DON'T care that much. I suspect, however, that I am over-thinking the whole thing. Sometimes, people have nothing better to put in their names! "Gosh, Philip, don't be such a heartless, cynical jackass." Oh world and/or inner critic, you know just what to say to charm me into submission.
Speaking of which... I'm reticent to speak about this, since the reason reminder that my sister might regularly read my journal - but she didn't give me any commentary on my coy mention of self-pleasure, so maybe I'm in the safe here. Though, to that note, I've not done that in a little bit. I just don't see the point, y'know? It's like what I wrote just emphasized how empty it felt, and how guilty I've always felt about it. Sexual well-being issues, activate! It's made me feel cleaner and less guilt-ridden, however, which is good - the first one metaphorically, it's not like I was slovenly about it. *cough*. Anyway, that's probably too much information.
The point is, I was saying things about submission? Man, how long has it been since that was a topic that I discussed in my journal? I can just jump back in time, and envision all my creepy, domineering tirades. Hilarity? Not really. It's just another thing like acting, probably. What I was going to say, however, is that since that part of me has been dead so long, I don't really know how to act it out anymore - Brie tries, and God bless her for that, it makes me appreciate how much she cares about me, in these little changes - but it just won't ever be right, y'know? That's not her, and that's not who I am around her. It's evident in the way she acts around me afterwards... nothing has changed. No matter how I look at her, or talk to her, she doesn't catch the signals, and treats me the same way she was treating me before anything happened. So, y'know, to that end... it's just not really worth it. So I've just been feeling more submissive lately. Apparently it's something I enjoy? Go figure, eh? I guess role reversals are always fun though. I just can't help but feel weird about it sometimes.
To anyone reading this who has the wherewithal, this is on a completely different subject, but the band is getting together to play our last show on March 6th, Thursday, at the Campbell River Community Center. At some point later in the night, myself, Brody, and Shilo will be performing together as the mondo-cool performance art/experimental noise group, "Meat Party". Awesome name, no? So be there if you can, or if you can't, you accept that you are four sided, equally on each side, and akin to a rectangular nature within this restriction. Lulz.
That's all for now. More updates later? And maybe writing?
A comic about a talking dinosaur?
I notice I'm making a lot of journal entries, after the longest time of not getting them - and what's more, they're eliciting comments! Either I finally found a way to make what I say interesting, or everyone else in the world is just as bored as I am.
You know what always annoys me? People who put declarations of affection for their significant (or sometimes, not so significant) other in their instant messenger names. You know what I'm talking about - how every MSN Friends list has a name along the lines of "kylie princess7 - (heart)mathew(heart) i luv ur forever!" I think that if you care about someone in a truly affectionate manner, you don't need to plaster that affection all over your most permanent public display of yourself - internet wise, anyway. Getting a tattoo like that would be the stupidest thing I've ever heard of - not if the couple has been together a long time, but most of these MSN "luv forevers" pop up a couple weeks after dating. I think having someone get a tattoo declaring their love that spontaneously would be hilarious, however. Imagine how fast they would get their ass dumped.
It is kind of endearing in a way though. It shows that maybe you want to give a constant reminder to the person you care about that you do care about them - my counter-argument to that, however, would be that if you can't take the effort to tell them, rather than have an instant messaging service give them the constant reminder, then maybe you DON'T care that much. I suspect, however, that I am over-thinking the whole thing. Sometimes, people have nothing better to put in their names! "Gosh, Philip, don't be such a heartless, cynical jackass." Oh world and/or inner critic, you know just what to say to charm me into submission.
Speaking of which... I'm reticent to speak about this, since the reason reminder that my sister might regularly read my journal - but she didn't give me any commentary on my coy mention of self-pleasure, so maybe I'm in the safe here. Though, to that note, I've not done that in a little bit. I just don't see the point, y'know? It's like what I wrote just emphasized how empty it felt, and how guilty I've always felt about it. Sexual well-being issues, activate! It's made me feel cleaner and less guilt-ridden, however, which is good - the first one metaphorically, it's not like I was slovenly about it. *cough*. Anyway, that's probably too much information.
The point is, I was saying things about submission? Man, how long has it been since that was a topic that I discussed in my journal? I can just jump back in time, and envision all my creepy, domineering tirades. Hilarity? Not really. It's just another thing like acting, probably. What I was going to say, however, is that since that part of me has been dead so long, I don't really know how to act it out anymore - Brie tries, and God bless her for that, it makes me appreciate how much she cares about me, in these little changes - but it just won't ever be right, y'know? That's not her, and that's not who I am around her. It's evident in the way she acts around me afterwards... nothing has changed. No matter how I look at her, or talk to her, she doesn't catch the signals, and treats me the same way she was treating me before anything happened. So, y'know, to that end... it's just not really worth it. So I've just been feeling more submissive lately. Apparently it's something I enjoy? Go figure, eh? I guess role reversals are always fun though. I just can't help but feel weird about it sometimes.
To anyone reading this who has the wherewithal, this is on a completely different subject, but the band is getting together to play our last show on March 6th, Thursday, at the Campbell River Community Center. At some point later in the night, myself, Brody, and Shilo will be performing together as the mondo-cool performance art/experimental noise group, "Meat Party". Awesome name, no? So be there if you can, or if you can't, you accept that you are four sided, equally on each side, and akin to a rectangular nature within this restriction. Lulz.
That's all for now. More updates later? And maybe writing?
A comic about a talking dinosaur?