Grammar joke!
Apologies for any grammar mistakes in this joke. It's cut and pasted - I mostly just tightened it up. I've been going through a long, long, joke thread dating back to 2008 on the American Mensa boards, ten pages a day, reformatting and sending the jokes to my family in e-mail. This one just needed to be shared with you.
On his birthday, he got a gift certificate from his wife.
The certificate paid for a visit to a shaman living on a nearby reservation, who was rumored to have a wonderful cure for erectile dysfunction.
After being persuaded, he drove to the reservation, handed his ticket to the shaman, and wondered what he was in for.
The old man slowly, methodically produced a potion, handed it to him, and with a grip on his shoulder, warned, "This is powerful medicine, and it must be respected. You take only a teaspoonful, and then say, '1, 2, 3'. When you do that, you will be longer and harder than you have ever been in your life, and you can perform as long as you want."
He was highly encouraged. As he walked away, he turned and asked, "How do I stop the medicine from working?"
"Your partner must say '1, 2, 3, 4'.", the shaman responded, "but when she does, the medicine will not work again until the next full moon. "
He was eager to see if it worked. He went home, showered, shaved, took a spoonful of the medicine, and then invited his wife to join him in the bedroom. When she came in, he took off his clothes and said, "1, 2, 3!". Immediately, he was the manliest of men.
Cara was excited and began throwing off her clothes, and then she asked, "What was the '1, 2, 3' for?"
And that, boys and girls, is why we should never end our sentences with a preposition.
Oh, hey - one more!
A fish lover's boss sends him to Boston and tells him while he's there he absolutely must try the fried scrod.
the guy's in the taxi from the airport and remembers this, so he asks the cabbie "Do you know where I can get scrod?"
Cabbie eyes him in the rear view and says "Buddy, I've heard that question asked a million times, but never before in the past pluperfect."
On his birthday, he got a gift certificate from his wife.
The certificate paid for a visit to a shaman living on a nearby reservation, who was rumored to have a wonderful cure for erectile dysfunction.
After being persuaded, he drove to the reservation, handed his ticket to the shaman, and wondered what he was in for.
The old man slowly, methodically produced a potion, handed it to him, and with a grip on his shoulder, warned, "This is powerful medicine, and it must be respected. You take only a teaspoonful, and then say, '1, 2, 3'. When you do that, you will be longer and harder than you have ever been in your life, and you can perform as long as you want."
He was highly encouraged. As he walked away, he turned and asked, "How do I stop the medicine from working?"
"Your partner must say '1, 2, 3, 4'.", the shaman responded, "but when she does, the medicine will not work again until the next full moon. "
He was eager to see if it worked. He went home, showered, shaved, took a spoonful of the medicine, and then invited his wife to join him in the bedroom. When she came in, he took off his clothes and said, "1, 2, 3!". Immediately, he was the manliest of men.
Cara was excited and began throwing off her clothes, and then she asked, "What was the '1, 2, 3' for?"
And that, boys and girls, is why we should never end our sentences with a preposition.
Oh, hey - one more!
A fish lover's boss sends him to Boston and tells him while he's there he absolutely must try the fried scrod.
the guy's in the taxi from the airport and remembers this, so he asks the cabbie "Do you know where I can get scrod?"
Cabbie eyes him in the rear view and says "Buddy, I've heard that question asked a million times, but never before in the past pluperfect."