The truth about George Washington

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Last night, I was transported (in my dream) back to the American Revolution, where I learned the following things:

• They actually had telephones, already, at that point in history. It was just that no one ever wrote anything about them, so we didn't know. Apparently the technology was lost, and re-discovered, later, not actually invented. They also had electric lights.
• George Washington was actually an illegal shrimp stew salesman. Apparently, there was some sort of shrimp stew that was being sold as a virility/fertility drug, and it had been outlawed by the crown, throughout the thirteen original colonies. Washington was doing a brisk trade in it, a fact that made him wily and anti-establishment enough to later give the redcoats hell. I don't know, dude, my subconscious comes up with this shit. I just write it down.

Later, I had a brief but deeply unsettling dream that featured pianos, entirely wrapped in form-fitting layers of pink meat. I woke up to Janice shaking me, and she said, "are you going to get up? You said you didn't want to sleep late, today." And I said, blearily, "PIANOS WRAPPED IN PINK MEAT!"

Last night, I built a piezo pickup onto my cheap Wal-Mart lap harp/dulcimer thingie, and tuned it to G-Minor. It is now an electric lap harp, an instrument I haven't heard of many other people playing. It sounds sad and lonely and creepy, in a Sleepytime / Faun Fables kind of way. AND, it's a melodic string instrument that I can actually sort of play! I'm excited.

Janice sucked my $100.00 headphones that my parents gave me, two Christmases ago, up the vacuum cleaner and broke them. I am less excited by this. In fact, I almost started sobbing. I don't own very many really nice things, and we have no money AT ALL. We're about to go rent a movie, and I'm going to have to put it on my Visa card.