Confessions of the Rural Life, Third Installment
Well, boys and girls, it's that time of year once again. Archuleta County Fair! The time when all of my deepest longings for self-reliance and sustainability on a ranch bump up against cotton candy, Demolition Derby, and the Bounce House. Already, I have held multiple chickens, thought that turkeys were pissing on my ankle (it was only a leaking water dish), said "No, you cannot have a guinea pig," hosed down the Rabbit Barn, bought five sno-cones in various artificial colors, and carried wire clippers (ready to use!) in my back pocket - and the Fair gates have yet to open!
Alas, there is no Turkey Beauty Pageant this year. The "first annual" of last year was really the only annual, and this Judge is out of work. But I do get to write for the Poultry Judge tomorrow, ever-expanding my knowledge of egg shells and when a pullet becomes a cockerel.
Tomorrow, we will be at the Fair all day long. Rabbit Showmanship begins bright and early at 8:00 am. Even though I am still debating whether to iron the mandatory, long-sleeved, white, button-up shirts that the girls have to wear for showmanship, I am certainly going to enjoy every moment of Fair. The girls have decided that this is their last year in 4-H. They have given up on the cash prize at auction and a hefty addition to their college funds, because they spend their summer's with dad in Nebraska. They are draining pools to skate in instead of feeding their prize steer or praying that their Grand Champion turkey doesn't get its leg stuck in a fence and get eaten by the family dog. We went from five rabbits and the hopes of finally have a litter of kits that survived - yes, "Breed like rabbits" is not an accurate metaphor unless you're hurrying to your appointment at the Fertility Clinic - down to two rabbits. We have one-a-piece to keep as pets and for the random Rabbit Show. One only being show-worthy, if he finally molts out his smut. True story. And we will stay at a total of two rabbits, unless Mom caves in and buys the oh-so-very-cute Blue-Eyed Netherland Dwarf buck that Rowan so desperately wants and will even spend her allowance money to buy. Do we need another rabbit? I told her that I need to sleep on it. We'll see if Mom caves tomorrow.
After Showmanship tomorrow is the Judging. I am hoping that if all of my spiritual friends focus their energy, then the smut will miraculously disappear overnight (hell, the bleach didn't do it!), and Niki's rabbit won't be DQ'd (that's Fair talk for "disqualified") from the judging. Any smut-disappearing energy you can spare will be much appreciated!
Saturday, I get to babysit the Rabbit Barn for three hours and then make sure that my children fulfill their table-bussing trash service at the Chuck Wagon dinner. It ain't a Fair without the Chuck Wagon! The Demolition Derby was moved to Sunday afternoon this year. I'm not sure if it's a good-thing or a bad-thing that this year the Derby won't be during the sure-thing nightly downpour from Monsoon season. I'm going to try very hard to make it this year, as I think that a little crash 'em up is exactly what will be needed after a long weekend at the Fair. That and a six-pack of Schlitz.
Alas, there is no Turkey Beauty Pageant this year. The "first annual" of last year was really the only annual, and this Judge is out of work. But I do get to write for the Poultry Judge tomorrow, ever-expanding my knowledge of egg shells and when a pullet becomes a cockerel.
Tomorrow, we will be at the Fair all day long. Rabbit Showmanship begins bright and early at 8:00 am. Even though I am still debating whether to iron the mandatory, long-sleeved, white, button-up shirts that the girls have to wear for showmanship, I am certainly going to enjoy every moment of Fair. The girls have decided that this is their last year in 4-H. They have given up on the cash prize at auction and a hefty addition to their college funds, because they spend their summer's with dad in Nebraska. They are draining pools to skate in instead of feeding their prize steer or praying that their Grand Champion turkey doesn't get its leg stuck in a fence and get eaten by the family dog. We went from five rabbits and the hopes of finally have a litter of kits that survived - yes, "Breed like rabbits" is not an accurate metaphor unless you're hurrying to your appointment at the Fertility Clinic - down to two rabbits. We have one-a-piece to keep as pets and for the random Rabbit Show. One only being show-worthy, if he finally molts out his smut. True story. And we will stay at a total of two rabbits, unless Mom caves in and buys the oh-so-very-cute Blue-Eyed Netherland Dwarf buck that Rowan so desperately wants and will even spend her allowance money to buy. Do we need another rabbit? I told her that I need to sleep on it. We'll see if Mom caves tomorrow.
After Showmanship tomorrow is the Judging. I am hoping that if all of my spiritual friends focus their energy, then the smut will miraculously disappear overnight (hell, the bleach didn't do it!), and Niki's rabbit won't be DQ'd (that's Fair talk for "disqualified") from the judging. Any smut-disappearing energy you can spare will be much appreciated!
Saturday, I get to babysit the Rabbit Barn for three hours and then make sure that my children fulfill their table-bussing trash service at the Chuck Wagon dinner. It ain't a Fair without the Chuck Wagon! The Demolition Derby was moved to Sunday afternoon this year. I'm not sure if it's a good-thing or a bad-thing that this year the Derby won't be during the sure-thing nightly downpour from Monsoon season. I'm going to try very hard to make it this year, as I think that a little crash 'em up is exactly what will be needed after a long weekend at the Fair. That and a six-pack of Schlitz.